Parents Some Parents need to find their filter

[kimute]

Congrats on your DDs awesome states and I can't believe a parent would think that, let alone say it! I feel like I must live in some kind of bubble as I've never run across anything but lovely, generous, supportive parents. In our own gym, as well as at meets. Though maybe I'm just too old or too oblivious to hear the snarky comments from the seat in front of me Good thing too as a "little chat" would not have been my reaction!

 

[Kristie]

that's an adult who, when they were a kid, didn't have an adult tell them to mind their own business.
If she wants to talk like that, there are plenty of private opportunities for her to do so. No reason to publicly humiliate a child.

Your hubs should have casually said to someone next to him "That's my girl. She's worked really hard since she had her elbow surgery and we're getting better every day. I'm so proud of her."

That would have put her in her place without making a scene.

 

[Deleted member 14190]

Unfortunately it happens , here is what I instruct my parents to do if that happens. I actually go over this in the new team meeting, in hopes that it will get the message across to the parents to never do it and give them the tools to deal with it when it happens.
Find out who the child is that they are there for. (easy enough). Start cheering for her, genuinely , strike up a conversation with them. Be super nice and supportive for the child they are there for, congratulate them etc... Again this all has to be genuine. Within a few minutes they will figure out who your kid is and feel stupid beyond belief, and be forced to cheer for your child as well (putting on a fake face). Do not ever let them know that you heard them. The feeling of stupidity will haunt them the whole way home and hopefully have a lasting effect. And you will feel good about being the bigger person, cheering for their kid, (it's not the kids fault the parents are jerks) and having the satisfaction that they will remember how stupid they are for a long time. Hope that helps.

Or you can just take a picture of them and put them on CB.

 

[Ali'sMom]

Unfortunately it happens , here is what I instruct my parents to do if that happens. I actually go over this in the new team meeting, in hopes that it will get the message across to the parents to never do it and give them the tools to deal with it when it happens.
Find out who the child is that they are there for. (easy enough). Start cheering for her, genuinely , strike up a conversation with them. Be super nice and supportive for the child they are there for, congratulate them etc... Again this all has to be genuine. Within a few minutes they will figure out who your kid is and feel stupid beyond belief, and be forced to cheer for your child as well (putting on a fake face). Do not ever let them know that you heard them. The feeling of stupidity will haunt them the whole way home and hopefully have a lasting effect. And you will feel good about being the bigger person, cheering for their kid, (it's not the kids fault the parents are jerks) and having the satisfaction that they will remember how stupid they are for a long time. Hope that helps.

Or you can just take a picture of them and put them on CB.

I think I'd love to have you as my DD's coach!!

 

[strawberries]

Unfortunately it happens , here is what I instruct my parents to do if that happens. I actually go over this in the new team meeting, in hopes that it will get the message across to the parents to never do it and give them the tools to deal with it when it happens.
Find out who the child is that they are there for. (easy enough). Start cheering for her, genuinely , strike up a conversation with them. Be super nice and supportive for the child they are there for, congratulate them etc... Again this all has to be genuine. Within a few minutes they will figure out who your kid is and feel stupid beyond belief, and be forced to cheer for your child as well (putting on a fake face). Do not ever let them know that you heard them. The feeling of stupidity will haunt them the whole way home and hopefully have a lasting effect. And you will feel good about being the bigger person, cheering for their kid, (it's not the kids fault the parents are jerks) and having the satisfaction that they will remember how stupid they are for a long time. Hope that helps.

Or you can just take a picture of them and put them on CB.

Coach, please write a book for coaches on how to handle parents. Sometimes I think coaches shape parents as much as they shape gymnasts.

 

[notthatmom]

Unfortunately it happens , here is what I instruct my parents to do if that happens. I actually go over this in the new team meeting, in hopes that it will get the message across to the parents to never do it and give them the tools to deal with it when it happens.
Find out who the child is that they are there for. (easy enough). Start cheering for her, genuinely , strike up a conversation with them. Be super nice and supportive for the child they are there for, congratulate them etc... Again this all has to be genuine. Within a few minutes they will figure out who your kid is and feel stupid beyond belief, and be forced to cheer for your child as well (putting on a fake face). Do not ever let them know that you heard them. The feeling of stupidity will haunt them the whole way home and hopefully have a lasting effect. And you will feel good about being the bigger person, cheering for their kid, (it's not the kids fault the parents are jerks) and having the satisfaction that they will remember how stupid they are for a long time. Hope that helps.

Or you can just take a picture of them and put them on CB.

Can we just have someone at USAG turn this in to a poster and make it a regulation to be posted at all sanctioned meets?

All in favor?

 

[jenjean70]

Just wanted to vent for a moment while I gently remind all the parents out there that when they're packing their camera, snacks and other miscellaneous items to take with them to a meet that they should also remember to pack the filter that goes between their brain and their mouth.

Last night (Friday) we were at Norcal Level 7 states - my daughter had just finished her bar routine (which we were very proud of, she connected everything and didn't fall - hey, it's something) - she received a score of 7.025 - nope that's not a very good score, and the lady in front of my husband proceeded to tell the person that she was there with that "No one who gets a score like that should even be here" - she said it quite clearly and not so quietly (and I'm thinking she was lucky that it was my husband that was over there video-ing and not me because I might have had to sit next to her and have a little chat with her).

Nope, that was not a great score... Nope, her bar routine was definitely not State Championship caliber... Nope, she didn't have a giant but you know what she DID have??? Courage, Determination and Heart my dear Lady. Did it ever occur to you that maybe there was a reason my kiddo didn't score in the high 9's (which I'm SURE yours did - but I don't know... Do you know why?? because I'm concerned with only one kid out there.. MINE). Maybe, my dear Lady, you didn't know that my kid has struggled with bars ever since she GOT A GIANT SCREW PUT IN HER ELBOW TO HOLD IT TOGETHER! Maybe you didn't know that she can't quite train bars the way her teammates do BECAUSE IT CAUSES HER EXTREME PAIN! and Maybe, my new bestie, you should MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS.

Nope, my kiddo didn't get a great score on bars - but you know what she DID do? She medaled in three other events (two in the top three) AND she earned her first ever all-around medal all season long AND qualified for Regionals.

So I just thought that since we are finishing up with State Meet season and heading into Regional Meet season that I would gently remind all the parents out there to remember to pack that filter that goes between your brain and your mouth because you never know if the parent of that kid you're bad-mouthing is standing right behind you (and the fact that you would even do such a thing is a whole post unto itself).

Thank you,
Mom of the kid who didn't score so well on bars last night.

That's my mom at baseball games....I have to move away from her I get so embarrassed. She rarely comes to meets but when she does she's sure to make a comment about a kid who "isn't very good"- UGH! It makes me want to curl up and die- I always remind her how hard this sport- or any sport is.

 

[gymmomtotwo]

My step mom(don't like her, but need to put up if I want to see my Dad)) Once sat in the gym lobby, and said in a normal voice that some of the older team girls were "kind of hefty". Beautiful strong healthy athletes. Who knows who overheard that one? I have never taken her back.

 

[profmom]

I just have to brag on my mom here. She knows all my kids' long-term teammates and their stories, so she's that spectator who's cheering for the objectively mediocre routine in which the kid nonetheless accomplished a personal goal. She only ever gets vocally negative at meets because she thinks all the kids should be getting 9+ execution scores "because they work so hard!"

 

[CCGymbug]

I can not believe people are so catty! If I ever say anything about anyone its wow, she looks so good out there. Or I find something in a routine to compliment if I know they have been struggling.