WAG Speak up or stay out of it?

[AgingHippie]

As with most things in life people seem to give most of their feedback when they are unhappy or dissatisfied with a service or product. I am quickly learning gymnastics is no exception as there have been a few parents giving the owner of our gym an earful regarding our coaching staff. It has not been taken well and is causing a lot of drama. I know this because of what I have heard and not directly witnessed. The thing is I love our coaches. They have been tough and are difficult to communicate with for sure but at the end of day I respect their coaching and they way have worked with my dd. I don't want to get involved with any of the problems other people have experienced but I do feel like the gym owner should know that it has been a positive year for some parents. Maybe she already knows this, maybe she doesn't. I have never had a conversation with this person (owner) and I would really prefer to keep it this way. I will not have these coaches again until later on down the road (hopefully) or maybe even never again but it disheartens me to know a few have given them a bad rap and there is a possibility nobody has pointed out a positive experience. On the other end of the spectrum, I don't want to get involved or make this about sides and I am not sure how to drop an anonymous note or if that would even be appropriate. If you were or are an owner or head coach would you just want the madness to stop or would you appreciate hearing some positives about your coaches/assistant coaches.

 

[Deleted member 18037]

Why not offer some positive information. I have to say we (husband and I) are quick to speak our minds. But we do when it is positive as well as negative. We are not just complainers.

Its Ok to relate a good experience.

Studies have been done. If someone has a negative experience they are likely to tell about 8 others. If someone has a positive experience they are likely to tell one.

Really, folks like to know they do a good job. Don't you.

 

[lovemygymnast]

I think giving positive feedback would be very welcome!! Especially if she's hearing a lot of negative. We personally have had a rough year but I have been very quick to say positive things about the great coaches, kids and parents.

 

[Midwestmommy]

It's the end of the year, and a perfect time to remember to say thank you to your daughter's coaches. Better yet if it comes from your daughter. Other people's issues should not preclude you and your daughter from giving a heartfelt thank you (I am guessing something as simple as a card with a note would be appreciated). No need for it to be anonymous. I don't see why she could not also do a card for the head of the program/owner or whoever you think is appropriate. While you may not have had a conversation with them, your daughter probably has worked with them at some point. Good reminder for all of us.

 

[SurpriseGymMom]

Absolutely yes, give positive feedback!
I always try to make sure people know when they are doing a good job at whatever it is they do. The world is full of people who will only complain, never praise....
As a coach, it feels great when parents (or kids) let me know that they are happy and think we are doing awesome at gym, totally makes my day!!!

 

[JoyAvenueMom]

There's never a bad time to do a good thing.

 

[Ali'sMom]

Even without drama, I do my best to send emails once in a while to the owners (who are also the HCs) to let them know just how much I appreciate them. They have shown support for DD from the very beginning. She's never been a problem child, but she has had a few issues here and there, where I think they're going to get tired of her, but they've constantly supported her, and it was worth telling them, and very appreciated by them

Send an end-of-year email just expressing that you've had a great year, that's never a bad thing!

 

[billise]

I have done this before and it has been well received. No mention of negative stuff anyone else might be saying, just: "thank you for what you do for my kid, our family really appreciates you, your staff and all of the hard work you guys put in."

But, I try to do this periodically whether I hear negative stuff floating around or not.

 

[AgingHippie]

Thanks everyone, the coaches know how our family feels, we tell them all the time. I just wasn't sure if we should approach the owner with all the other "stuff" going on. A note sounds like a great way to handle it.

 

[wallinbl]

I periodically (maybe twice a year) let the owners know what they're doing well, or will let the owner know when one of the coaches does something I think warrants appreciation. It seems to be appreciated. But, there isn't much dissent or complaining at this gym (unlike our prior gym, which was almost constant dissent).

 

[Deleted member 14190]

As with most things in life people seem to give most of their feedback when they are unhappy or dissatisfied with a service or product. I am quickly learning gymnastics is no exception as there have been a few parents giving the owner of our gym an earful regarding our coaching staff. It has not been taken well and is causing a lot of drama. I know this because of what I have heard and not directly witnessed. The thing is I love our coaches. They have been tough and are difficult to communicate with for sure but at the end of day I respect their coaching and they way have worked with my dd. I don't want to get involved with any of the problems other people have experienced but I do feel like the gym owner should know that it has been a positive year for some parents. Maybe she already knows this, maybe she doesn't. I have never had a conversation with this person (owner) and I would really prefer to keep it this way. I will not have these coaches again until later on down the road (hopefully) or maybe even never again but it disheartens me to know a few have given them a bad rap and there is a possibility nobody has pointed out a positive experience. On the other end of the spectrum, I don't want to get involved or make this about sides and I am not sure how to drop an anonymous note or if that would even be appropriate. If you were or are an owner or head coach would you just want the madness to stop or would you appreciate hearing some positives about your coaches/assistant coaches.

This is a hard situation, but it happens... I have no idea if the complaints are legit, but it sounds like you believe they are not. In that case its pretty typical for an unhappy parent to drum up some support from others. This happens a lot with groups, parents will label a group the B group, word gets around to the rest of the team and the next thing you know , we (coaches) are getting blamed for calling it the B group! Yea this actually happens! I have lost kids over this and every time it actually comes from the parents. As you can imagine we (coaches) are very careful not to ever insinuate or say anything like this ever! The fact is the kids are placed together for ability etc... And this can be easily construed as such ,,, then add a parent who says something and it takes off... Sadly its incidents like this that cause problems in the gym and people leave for the wrong reasons... Anyways, I was just trying to think of a situation that would be applicable to the topic. So yes as others have said voice your opinion, feel free to object, because frankly sometimes all it takes is for one person to calm things down.

 

[AgingHippie]

This is a hard situation, but it happens... I have no idea if the complaints are legit, but it sounds like you believe they are not. In that case its pretty typical for an unhappy parent to drum up some support from others. This happens a lot with groups, parents will label a group the B group, word gets around to the rest of the team and the next thing you know , we (coaches) are getting blamed for calling it the B group! Yea this actually happens!

Oh yes, the group complaining thing went on all year and actually is a lot of what the current complaining is about. It was very difficult to not let it get to you when it was such a hot topic of discussion but we quickly realized our dd would be where she was meant to be and thrive.

 

[Deleted member 14190]

Oh yes, the group complaining thing went on all year and actually is a lot of what the current complaining is about. It was very difficult to not let it get to you when it was such a hot topic of discussion but we quickly realized our dd would be where she was meant to be and thrive.

This is a big deal in our sport. Parents don't understand the progressions that are involved in this sport. Kids that at different rates need to be together or they get left behind. It is very typical for a parent to blame the group for their child's progress instead of realizing that the child is in the group for a reason. Which is usually because it is the best for the child. Not to say that all gyms do it right! So its often impossible for a parent to figure it out and lets face it,,, for some admitting the child just learns a little slower is never an option...

 

[profmom]

Sometimes engaging a few BTDT parents might help. When there was a lot of complaining from a particular group of parents about how badly the coaches were training bars for the L4s, I shared a video of DD's (old) L5 bars routine in her first year in the gym. I also vividly remember talking with a few parents of L9-L10 girls when DD was at that phase and being shocked when they told me that their daughters were once not completely and utterly awesome podium-owners.

 

[MeetDirector]

Aging -

Being proud to say that I am now one of those BTDT parents, I advise you to seek out the owner/HC and pass on your feelings to them. I suggest doing this outside of practice when you can actually sit face-to-face and say a proper thank you. This step will go along way toward building the trust that is so important when you get to the upper optional levels.

I would also advise countering some of the parent griping as it happens, if the opportunity arises. Sometimes, we parents act like lemmings and jump on a bandwagon because everyone else is. All it takes is a calm, non-confrontational alternate point of view to break the cycle. I have done it and it works. I also encourage you to seek out the parents of the "older" athletes in your gym and talk to them about what lies ahead for you. We did that and to this day firmly believe that that conversation shaped how we reacted to the rest of our dd's gymnastics career.

Good Luck.

 

[kmc]

A somewhat similar situation is going on at DD's gym. Pretty typical as we approach the end of season and gear up for the next one. I am also one to not talk to the owner, but I did feel that a positive experience needed to be shared, so I sent an email, and it was appreciated.

 

[ZJsMom]

I think it would be great to put something in writing and cc the owner. As a matter of fact, your raising the topic makes me feel like I should do something like this for DS's coach.

 

[AgingHippie]

[QUOTE I would also advise countering some of the parent griping as it happens, if the opportunity arises. Sometimes, we parents act like lemmings and jump on a bandwagon because everyone else is. All it takes is a calm, non-confrontational alternate point of view to break the cycle. I have done it and it works. [/QUOTE]

I have been a little reluctant to speak up only because dd was in the group that was perceived to be one of the higher groups (there are quite a few groups, I think 4 but not really sure) so I didn't know if that would cause more drama. To be honest I'm not sure what the groups meant. I drop off and go and then pick up only a short time before practice ends, but perception is everything when it comes to this stuff.

 

[AgingHippie]

Oops that quote didn't work!

 

[MeetDirector]

I have been a little reluctant to speak up only because dd was in the group that was perceived to be one of the higher groups (there are quite a few groups, I think 4 but not really sure) so I didn't know if that would cause more drama. To be honest I'm not sure what the groups meant. I drop off and go and then pick up only a short time before practice ends, but perception is everything when it comes to this stuff.

I know, its hard to counter what you see as a tidal wave. However, having been there oh so many years ago, I can tell you that negativity spreads like wildfire and before you know it you will be smeared right along with the rest even if you had no part of it. One voice, speaking calmly can stop the momentum and then the negativity can die out. It works. I also strongly encourage folks to start building the relationship with the coaches and owner. Even if you won't have some of the coaches for awhile, start now maybe by simply greeting them and thanking them for what they do.

Bottomline - don't get sucked into the negative whirlpool willingly or by accident or by inaction.

Good Luck.