spotting in gymnastics

[gymjourneymom]

Silly Sammy, I hope you have already found the courage to talk to an adult. Someone that you feel comfortable discussing this with. Please follow your gut insticts, as others have stated. It has been my experience, as a woman, that when someone, bumps me in a personal area(or if I've ever bumped someone), by accident, that person( if they are aware that it happened) usually acknowledges it with an apology. I know I've apologized to people I've bumped into accidentally. That way it is acknowledged as an accident & it is out in the open. I think that if there was no acknowlegement, either the spotter truly didn't realize the inappropriate touch occurred or it was not by accident. You have a right to know which it was and you deserve an apology either way. And it needs to be dealt with by the gym...either way. If it was an accident, this coach needs a lesson in proper spotting & how to deal with coaching young girls. If an accidental touch occurs....an apology should be offered at time, the coach needs to learn this. If it wasn't an accident...some serious action needs to be taken. Please talk to an adult, you should not have to be shouldering all of this alone. Be brave...we know you can....after all you're a gymnast.

 

[SillySammy]

Silly Sammy, I hope you have already found the courage to talk to an adult. Someone that you feel comfortable discussing this with. Please follow your gut insticts, as others have stated. It has been my experience, as a woman, that when someone, bumps me in a personal area(or if I've ever bumped someone), by accident, that person( if they are aware that it happened) usually acknowledges it with an apology. I know I've apologized to people I've bumped into accidentally. That way it is acknowledged as an accident & it is out in the open. I think that if there was no acknowlegement, either the spotter truly didn't realize the inappropriate touch occurred or it was not by accident. You have a right to know which it was and you deserve an apology either way. And it needs to be dealt with by the gym...either way. If it was an accident, this coach needs a lesson in proper spotting & how to deal with coaching young girls. If an accidental touch occurs....an apology should be offered at time, the coach needs to learn this. If it wasn't an accident...some serious action needs to be taken. Please talk to an adult, you should not have to be shouldering all of this alone. Be brave...we know you can....after all you're a gymnast.

thanks for your help. and no he didnt acknowlege it. and im pretty sure he knew his hand was there. i told my mom and she said it was probly an accident and to forget about it. but i know it wasnt.

 

[KBT]

I'm sure this issue is just as uncomfortable for your mum as it is for you. If I were a parent this would be hard to hear - I'm sure she assumes the gym is a safe place for you.

Are you comfortable working with this coach again? The gymnast-coach relationship HAS to be built on trust. And if you have a small level of discomfort when you're around him, you'll probably start holding back and get upset every time you're anywhere near him. So it's best to deal with this again so it doesn't get to that point.

If it were me, I'd talk to the head coach and as for him/her to keep the conversation confidential. It might mean talking to your mum again and asking her to come with you. The head coach can then be looking out for issues in the future, could rearrange things so you're working with other coaches or maybe talk to that coach without using your name.

 

[lannamavity]

ok so ive been doing gymnastics since i was 7 and there was no one who ever touched me in the wrong place to spot me. i started going to a new gym and all the teachers are guys. none of the guys there accidentally touch my but or my boob except one guy. anyone who does gymnastics - he spotted me doing a backhandspring into a backflip and he put his hand on my boob in the middle of doing this. there is no reason his hand shouldve been anywhere other than my back. hes also touched my but doing this. and i think im crazy for analyzing it so much. i get this weird vibe from him. i feel so stupid.

How about saying, "Please don't touch me like that" when it happens.

You can't tell him how to spot. A lot of coaches spot backhandsprings with a cross-arm spot, and the arms do end up around the front of the torso, and it is an acceptable technique. Part of spotting is lifting the upper torso up to assist rotation, so that in itself does not mean someone is being inappropriate. It also takes a while for a coach to adjust spotting techniques for new athletes of different heights and weights. It is inevitable that hands will slip while spotting. Coaches should always acknowlege the mishap...even though it can be uncomfortable for both involved.

You can and should acknowlege that you are uncomfortable when and if it happens again. At least this way, if it is an accident, he is aware. More importantly, if it's not an accident, he is aware. Doing or saying nothing is the worst thing you can do.

 

[all-aroundgirl]

You definitely need to tell your parents or a coach. From how your describing it that does not seem like "just an accident". You can't be scared to. If someone violates your personal space like that you need to immediately tell a parent or coach. I think you've been waiting to long on this. I don't think you should be afraid of them not beliving you. Trust me, I had a guy do the exact same thing and there is no way that can be an accident. Although did he say anything to you afterwards. If he apologized then it was probably an accident. If he didn't say anything it is more than likely that it wasn't an accident.

 

[SillySammy]

How about saying, "Please don't touch me like that" when it happens.

You can't tell him how to spot. A lot of coaches spot backhandsprings with a cross-arm spot, and the arms do end up around the front of the torso, and it is an acceptable technique. Part of spotting is lifting the upper torso up to assist rotation, so that in itself does not mean someone is being inappropriate. It also takes a while for a coach to adjust spotting techniques for new athletes of different heights and weights. It is inevitable that hands will slip while spotting. Coaches should always acknowlege the mishap...even though it can be uncomfortable for both involved.

You can and should acknowlege that you are uncomfortable when and if it happens again. At least this way, if it is an accident, he is aware. More importantly, if it's not an accident, he is aware. Doing or saying nothing is the worst thing you can do.

i know i said its a new gym but ive been going there since june. hes spotted me every week i went.

You definitely need to tell your parents or a coach. From how your describing it that does not seem like "just an accident". You can't be scared to. If someone violates your personal space like that you need to immediately tell a parent or coach. I think you've been waiting to long on this. I don't think you should be afraid of them not beliving you. Trust me, I had a guy do the exact same thing and there is no way that can be an accident. Although did he say anything to you afterwards. If he apologized then it was probably an accident. If he didn't say anything it is more than likely that it wasn't an accident.

he didnt apologize

 

[Billy]

Have you been to practice again since then? Has it happened again? For now, that could be an indication if it was accidental or not. If it happens again, it's not likely to be accidental. But, if you're at all uncomfortable with this coach, you need to talk with someone about it. If your mom doesn't understand, maybe you could talk with the head coach at the gym.

 

[all-aroundgirl]

he didnt apologize

Then it wasn't an accident. He was conscious of his decision but probably didn't say anything because he wanted to do it. It wasn't like "Oops, I touched her there, sorry."

 

[Billy]

Then it wasn't an accident. He was conscious of his decision but probably didn't say anything because he wanted to do it. It wasn't like "Oops, I touched her there, sorry."

Or maybe he was embarrassed. Or maybe he was focused on coaching and didn't even realize what he did. I'm not trying to defend him, especially not if it was intentional. But none of us were there so we can't say for sure what happened. But, Sammy, I still think you need to talk to the head coach about it. You should never feel uncomfortable with your coaches at the gym.

 

[Linsul]

I'd be careful diving into the mind and motivations of a coach we don't know. It may very well been a slip of the hand rather than something insidious and premeditated thats turned into this because he handled it badly. What is inexcusable is the lack of apology afterwards, or allowing a situation where a gymnast feels unsafe to perpetuate. I'd just hate any snap judgments here to affect the resolution of the issue where it counts. I'm hugely relieved that mom knows, and hopefully it gets brought up to a gym owner or head coach so the matter can be fully figured out by those who are informed and empowered to act.

 

[SillySammy]

I'd be careful diving into the mind and motivations of a coach we don't know. It may very well been a slip of the hand rather than something insidious and premeditated thats turned into this because he handled it badly. What is inexcusable is the lack of apology afterwards, or allowing a situation where a gymnast feels unsafe to perpetuate. I'd just hate any snap judgments here to affect the resolution of the issue where it counts. I'm hugely relieved that mom knows, and hopefully it gets brought up to a gym owner or head coach so the matter can be fully figured out by those who are informed and empowered to act.

the reason why i dont want to tell anybody is because maybe it was an accident and im just over reacting. i should know the next time i go if he does it again.

Or maybe he was embarrassed. Or maybe he was focused on coaching and didn't even realize what he did. I'm not trying to defend him, especially not if it was intentional. But none of us were there so we can't say for sure what happened. But, Sammy, I still think you need to talk to the head coach about it. You should never feel uncomfortable with your coaches at the gym.

i know it makes me feel stupid if im over reacting. i go this week so if something happens again i'll know

Then it wasn't an accident. He was conscious of his decision but probably didn't say anything because he wanted to do it. It wasn't like "Oops, I touched her there, sorry."

yeah i know

Have you been to practice again since then? Has it happened again? For now, that could be an indication if it was accidental or not. If it happens again, it's not likely to be accidental. But, if you're at all uncomfortable with this coach, you need to talk with someone about it. If your mom doesn't understand, maybe you could talk with the head coach at the gym.

no it happened last week. if it happens again i should know.

 

[SillySammy]

Guys im not going to tell the gym until im 100 percent sure. if it happens again ill say something about it. im pretty sure with the position i was in there was no way he was even doing a cross arm spot. i ended the backhandspring and went up straight for a backflip and then thats when he touched me. I felt him touch me when i was squating on the ground (end of backhandspring) and kept touching me while i was going up straight until i spun around. Comments anyone?

 

[SillySammy]

anyone? i thought i explained myself pretty well in my last post.

 

[Billy]

I'm sorry but I don't know enough about spotting technique to determine how that might have gone down. But, how it is possible that no one else in the gym noticed? Weren't there other gymnasts and/or coaches around? I think the bottom line is that if you're not comfortable saying anything to the HC, you'll just need to see what, if anything, happens next time.

 

[all-aroundgirl]

Guys im not going to tell the gym until im 100 percent sure. if it happens again ill say something about it. im pretty sure with the position i was in there was no way he was even doing a cross arm spot. i ended the backhandspring and went up straight for a backflip and then thats when he touched me. I felt him touch me when i was squating on the ground (end of backhandspring) and kept touching me while i was going up straight until i spun around. Comments anyone?

Ok, he kept touching you. I really think you should tell the HC. I know you might not feel comfratable but that's the best advice I could give and what I would do should that situation happen to me. I'm curious like Shawn though. Did anyone else notice?

 

[gymnasticcoach]

My opnion

Hi SillySammy. I responded to your thread once but after reading all of your responses i am responding again.

I have been a gymnastic coach for over 40 years and have been involved in the sport for 50 years. The majority of my coaching has been in Canada and a bit in the USA, and now in Iceland. I have worked with and watched many different coaches from various cultures. In some cultures the coach puts their hands wherever they want on an athlete and nothing is said or done to discourage it. I do not believe that is ethical or proper.

I have over the years accidently touched athletes when spotting a skill or saving them from injury. Whatever the situation i have immediately apologized to the athlete and when the parent came to pick the athlete up from practice i have gone and explained to the parent in the presence of the athlete exactly what happened and told the parent to talk with the athlete about the touch.

If this coach has not done or is not willing to do that then i believe in my opinion there is a problem. I do not think you should wait to see if it happens again, i think you should speak up and speak loudly.

Don

 

[gymgirl_60]

sillysammy-
i am a gymnast and my coaches have spotted me in back tucks and many other things bfore. however, they have never come near my chest. they hold my stomach and back or just my back then lift me and help me flip. they do the same for flyaways. sometimes coaches only need to touch your back when helping you flip but that does not sound normal

 

[SillySammy]

Ok, he kept touching you. I really think you should tell the HC. I know you might not feel comfratable but that's the best advice I could give and what I would do should that situation happen to me. I'm curious like Shawn though. Did anyone else notice?

well there were 2 other girls in line. and i dont think they were looking closely. you know you watch the flip but you dont pay attention to what the spotter is doing.

 

[all-aroundgirl]

well there were 2 other girls in line. and i dont think they were looking closely. you know you watch the flip but you dont pay attention to what the spotter is doing.

Yeah. I would really tell the HC.

 

[TuesdayPillow]

The last thing anyone wants to do is make a big deal out of this. Your parents should address the coach's boss politely and discreetly. In turn your coach's boss will likely address everyone about being careful of inappropriate touching. Either that or the boss will approach the coach with a general warning about "some gymnasts say you've been spotting them with your hands in places they aren't used to. Is there any reason you are spotting with your hands on the gymnast's chests and buttocks?"
Make it known NOW because if it becomes a bigger problem later, then the coach at least has a history of a prior complaint. I will bet you that there is at least one other gymnast who has been feeling the same way - it is rarely a one-gymnast-incident if it's truly malicious.