Anon Stressed and dealing with disappointment

[Anonymous (b48a)]

I have never been too stressed watching my daughter's gymnastics until this year at L9. I actually feel physically ill when I watch her compete or when she has a bad meet and is disappointed. I do not know what is wrong and how to talk myself down. I have a full life, lots of other interests, kids, job, so I do not know why her gymnastics feels particularly all-consuming this year. Any tricks?

 

[Anonymous (e6c1)]

Is your daughter struggling? Level 9 is hard.

You need to put in the work to calm down. Your attitude absolutely affects your child and being able to be calm during competition will help her be calm. I’m not sympathetic (I am also a level 9 mom and the love/hate I have for this sport is extreme!) but it’s your mom job to keep it under control. And even if you think you are projecting calm, if you are not actually calm you probably are not.

Frist, identify what you are most nervous about. Injury? Failure?

If it’s injury you have to accept that they are a part of life in gymnastics, but can be mitigated by proper training, diet, and sleep. Trust her coaches training and make sure she’s getting enough good food and sleep, then make your peace with it.

If it’s failure, you have to redefine success in your head. If she’s a level 9 gymnast, she is already more athletic and agile than 99 percent of the population, and if she never is more than a level 9 gymnast that’s perfectly fine. It doesn’t have to be college or bust.

 

[Anonymous (de58)]

I have noticed this year has been more difficult for me to watch, as well. And mine isn't L9 yet! I think for me, it's because I am seeing that she may not meet some of the goals she set for herself, and that makes me feel bad and wonder if I should have done things differently/guided her differently over the past several years. My daughter has not vocalized this to me, it's truly just me, but I believe that is what makes me so anxious watching her and/or preparing myself if she's feeling disappointed. Hugs to you!