- Nov 21, 2014
- 31
- 101
Hey guys, I can confirm. The advice on here is true! If you are even considering a gym change, you should have done it much sooner!
My only regret is not leaving sooner, dragging it out only prolonged the inevitable.
Update: DD is so excited about gymnastics, she isn't crying anymore. And the longer we are here the more confident she becomes. Slowly, slowly the emotions have lifted.
DD had some great accomplishments with gym A, and they taught her a lot of great skills, however, it was at a huge price. Her self confidence and self-esteem were destroyed. Even with the accomplishments she felt she wasn't any good. Unfortunately, I allowed this to carry on far too long because of these accomplishments. Although the manipulating methods of coaching were unacceptable, I realize I allowed this because I felt loyal and obligated to the coaches because of what I had imagined they had done for my daughter. I should have been loyal to my daughter first!
Therefore, I put this out there to parents, please learn from my mistakes. If your child is crying about gymnastics, if they start asking you to be at practice everyday, start paying attention. DD tells me now, she got yelled at more when I wasn't there, so she felt protected if I was in the building. I should have had the guts to rescue her sooner, and it is a regret I will always live with. How many days can you sit and watch 5,6,7 girls sobbing in the gym, girls being then "sent" to time-out from crying, before you wake up. I thought all gyms were like this, and thought it was normal. I'm an intelligent person, but in this I was ignorant and naive. I realize now why upon leaving, the coaches told me I had no business asking my daughter how her day at the gym was....I have three children, and I will always ask my children about their day, that's family.
Today, at Gym B, she is thriving. She hears, "I'm proud of you!" "You're really working had" "you can do this" from her coaches. Professionalism just continues to blow my mind. The coaches have never once told me I shouldn't ask her how about her day. She has NEVER once come home and said she was yelled at. NEVER have they kept her on a skill to the point of tears, NEVER has she been scolded for icing after an injury, NEVER has she been given the silent treatment because she didn't get something just right or had an oopsie at a meet.
And guess what. They have allowed her to fail. And hugged her when she did. In fact, praised her for going big and risking the fall. Which is removing the fear of failure.
And, she is beginning to trust the coaches. Beginning to see, that they are not to be feared, but are here to help guide her journey. DD isn't perfect, and they don't expect her to be. Here she is a small fish in a big pond, and I also believe that has helped her to let go of the pressure. The best part, no more crying, and DD is non-stop loving gymnastics the sport again, you can see that twinkle in her eyes when she's talking about it, or when she comes running out of the gym to tell me something, her excitement and energy is just so positive. Of course, she is building upon her skills, repairing bad habits, and learning so many new things as well, but it's all happening in an emotionally safe environment.
And, I am eternally grateful for the positive in her life. I can tell her how proud I am, but it isn't the same. Coaches, you do matter, you do make a difference, you might have just saved this little girl.
And to the chalkbucket community, I couldn't have had the courage to do what needed to be done without your stories and support and encouragement. Thank u for reminding me that I wasn't a lunatic crazy gym mom, and helping me to stay focused and think about what DD needed, and I am so appreciative. Thank you!
My only regret is not leaving sooner, dragging it out only prolonged the inevitable.
Update: DD is so excited about gymnastics, she isn't crying anymore. And the longer we are here the more confident she becomes. Slowly, slowly the emotions have lifted.
DD had some great accomplishments with gym A, and they taught her a lot of great skills, however, it was at a huge price. Her self confidence and self-esteem were destroyed. Even with the accomplishments she felt she wasn't any good. Unfortunately, I allowed this to carry on far too long because of these accomplishments. Although the manipulating methods of coaching were unacceptable, I realize I allowed this because I felt loyal and obligated to the coaches because of what I had imagined they had done for my daughter. I should have been loyal to my daughter first!
Therefore, I put this out there to parents, please learn from my mistakes. If your child is crying about gymnastics, if they start asking you to be at practice everyday, start paying attention. DD tells me now, she got yelled at more when I wasn't there, so she felt protected if I was in the building. I should have had the guts to rescue her sooner, and it is a regret I will always live with. How many days can you sit and watch 5,6,7 girls sobbing in the gym, girls being then "sent" to time-out from crying, before you wake up. I thought all gyms were like this, and thought it was normal. I'm an intelligent person, but in this I was ignorant and naive. I realize now why upon leaving, the coaches told me I had no business asking my daughter how her day at the gym was....I have three children, and I will always ask my children about their day, that's family.
Today, at Gym B, she is thriving. She hears, "I'm proud of you!" "You're really working had" "you can do this" from her coaches. Professionalism just continues to blow my mind. The coaches have never once told me I shouldn't ask her how about her day. She has NEVER once come home and said she was yelled at. NEVER have they kept her on a skill to the point of tears, NEVER has she been scolded for icing after an injury, NEVER has she been given the silent treatment because she didn't get something just right or had an oopsie at a meet.
And guess what. They have allowed her to fail. And hugged her when she did. In fact, praised her for going big and risking the fall. Which is removing the fear of failure.
And, she is beginning to trust the coaches. Beginning to see, that they are not to be feared, but are here to help guide her journey. DD isn't perfect, and they don't expect her to be. Here she is a small fish in a big pond, and I also believe that has helped her to let go of the pressure. The best part, no more crying, and DD is non-stop loving gymnastics the sport again, you can see that twinkle in her eyes when she's talking about it, or when she comes running out of the gym to tell me something, her excitement and energy is just so positive. Of course, she is building upon her skills, repairing bad habits, and learning so many new things as well, but it's all happening in an emotionally safe environment.
And, I am eternally grateful for the positive in her life. I can tell her how proud I am, but it isn't the same. Coaches, you do matter, you do make a difference, you might have just saved this little girl.
And to the chalkbucket community, I couldn't have had the courage to do what needed to be done without your stories and support and encouragement. Thank u for reminding me that I wasn't a lunatic crazy gym mom, and helping me to stay focused and think about what DD needed, and I am so appreciative. Thank you!
