Suggestions on crying

[skoglund_jenn]

I need help. My daughter will be 5 on Sunday and they recently moved her up to train with the level 4's. She loves gymnastics but cries now at the start. Once we get her going she is usually ok. She has a little friend who was also moved with her and they seem to be a domino effect on each other one cries the other cries. We don't want to push her as she is only 5 but when we ask if she wants to stay with the team or go back to pre-team she says she wants to go with the big kids I am not sure what to do? Do I stay and let her watch or when she cries do we just leave for the day? Anyone...

One other problem she has been with the same coach since March - wonderful coach and really puts a lot of extra time and effort into her and her little friend. All of a sudden she doesn't want to go with him, doesn't want to do anything if he is around, yet when practice is over will let him carry her all over the place. When asked she says she isn't mad at him and she wants to go with him but when it really comes down to it - she doesn't. Any suggestions on how to help her get over what I believe is just a fear of the bigger kids and not knowing how to do everything.

Thanks so much.

Jenn

 

[cher062]

I need help. My daughter will be 5 on Sunday and they recently moved her up to train with the level 4's. She loves gymnastics but cries now at the start. Once we get her going she is usually ok. She has a little friend who was also moved with her and they seem to be a domino effect on each other one cries the other cries. We don't want to push her as she is only 5 but when we ask if she wants to stay with the team or go back to pre-team she says she wants to go with the big kids I am not sure what to do? Do I stay and let her watch or when she cries do we just leave for the day? Anyone...

One other problem she has been with the same coach since March - wonderful coach and really puts a lot of extra time and effort into her and her little friend. All of a sudden she doesn't want to go with him, doesn't want to do anything if he is around, yet when practice is over will let him carry her all over the place. When asked she says she isn't mad at him and she wants to go with him but when it really comes down to it - she doesn't. Any suggestions on how to help her get over what I believe is just a fear of the bigger kids and not knowing how to do everything.

Thanks so much.

Jenn

Honestly it just sounds like a 5yo being 5 in a new situation. Yes she wants to be with the big girls all little girls want that but it's scary too. give it time. She needs to get to know these girls and make some bonds. She will eventually. It's hard being the new kid in the group and at 5 yo she may not yet be able to handle the change as quickly as everyone else wants.

Bribery does work you know. Something like ok today at gym if you don't cry we can get an ice cream or what ever little item would work for her. (Ice cream is my DD's curency even at 12yo).

 

[bogwoppit]

BIg changes are very hard for 5's. I agree with a gentle bribe, she just needs to see there is nothing to cry about, without anyone getting mad at her!

SHe's awfully cute!

 

[Bobby]

I was thinking along bribery lines too - but getting the coach or big girls to deliver it to encourage the little ones to approach with a bit more enthusiasm.

 

[Shelovesthebars]

My DD didn't cry but she would have trouble walking into class because she was afraid everytime. Even with the same teacher and the same skills. I just had to toughen up and walk away and let the coaches deal with it which they did beautifully. I wonder if your gymmie may be having a tough time because she is getting mixed messages. You are telling her to be a big girl to begin class but she is ending class by being treated like a baby by her coaches. The coaches should not be carrying her at the end of class if they want her to transition. My gymmie would just be confused. Maybe that is why she is mad at her coach because she is feeling conflicted. My daughter is doing well now and is a 4 year old level 4.

 

[gymnut1]

Ask the coach if they can assign her and her friend a 'buddy' each from the class who will meet her before class, take her to get ready and stay with her right through the warm up and show her what to do. This will allow you to step back. Buddys are great for developing confidence for both the younger and the older child. I bet there is an older child who would benefit from a little responsibility.

Don't allow babying. It backfires later. A buddy does not baby they assist and explain and smile. Often kids just need an explaination of what is happening - often a teacher/ coach might forget and little ones often don't like to keep asking.

You need to ask the coach to stop picking her up. That is not helping her mature.

She will soon find her feet.

 

[momofthreegirls]

I recently had a similar situation with my 5 year old daughter. She was training level 4 skills with the pre-team, and was much younger and smaller than the other girls. She liked it for the first month or so, but then it got to be too much for her. She was crying before class, and sometimes during class. I tried small bribes, like ice cream after class and jumping on the bungee trampoline that's at our mall. The bribes worked for a little while, but then she was back to crying before class.

The coaches were very hard on her, and the workout level was very focused and intense, so I decided to move her down a level. Now she is training level 3 skills with girls closer to her age and size and she is much happier. Instead of feeling overwhelmed, small, and left behind, she now feels accomplished and happy. She gets used as the skill demonstrater instead of being yelled at. Her new coach told me that she will be able to move to the competitive team next year.

I had really mixed feelings about moving her down. She had the skill level, but not the maturity level. I didn't want her to lose skills. However, it was not worth watching her cry and lose the love of gymnastics. She just wasn't ready for an hour of conditioning and stretching, followed by very focused skill drills. The class was not fun for her anymore.

I think you should give it a little bit of time, and see how your daughter adjusts. She is very young, and it may just take a little while for her to get used to her new class. Talk to her coaches for advice, too. My daughter's coach said it's always challenging when really young girls have such big skills.

 

[skoglund_jenn]

Thanks so much - we will give it some more time but it has crossed my mind to move her back to her old class of pre-team. She says she doesn't want to move back but I will give it a few more weeks - I don't like seeing her cry, I just want it to be fun. Glad to hear we are not the only one who had struggled with this. Thanks again.

Jenn

I recently had a similar situation with my 5 year old daughter. She was training level 4 skills with the pre-team, and was much younger and smaller than the other girls. She liked it for the first month or so, but then it got to be too much for her. She was crying before class, and sometimes during class. I tried small bribes, like ice cream after class and jumping on the bungee trampoline that's at our mall. The bribes worked for a little while, but then she was back to crying before class.

The coaches were very hard on her, and the workout level was very focused and intense, so I decided to move her down a level. Now she is training level 3 skills with girls closer to her age and size and she is much happier. Instead of feeling overwhelmed, small, and left behind, she now feels accomplished and happy. She gets used as the skill demonstrater instead of being yelled at. Her new coach told me that she will be able to move to the competitive team next year.

I had really mixed feelings about moving her down. She had the skill level, but not the maturity level. I didn't want her to lose skills. However, it was not worth watching her cry and lose the love of gymnastics. She just wasn't ready for an hour of conditioning and stretching, followed by very focused skill drills. The class was not fun for her anymore.

I think you should give it a little bit of time, and see how your daughter adjusts. She is very young, and it may just take a little while for her to get used to her new class. Talk to her coaches for advice, too. My daughter's coach said it's always challenging when really young girls have such big skills.

 

[gymdog]

She may not want to move back down to the preteam because she views it as her doing something wrong or some form of "punishment," but if you decide it's the best thing then I would go back to a couple months of that. They can't compete L4 until they're 6. Depending on how your state structures the L4 competitive seasons, that means she can't compete either until the next season is over (fall season) or until it's already started (my state has nov-may season). If she hasn't yet turned 5 I'm assuming she hasn't started kindergarten and will the next school year. I think the most preferable thing is to not move preschool kids into groups where almost everyone is school age. I was once moved into a group where everyone was significantly older and I didn't like it until more younger girls moved up because I felt left out and the older kids were sometimes (probably inadvertantly) mean.

 

[UnoMas]

I also have a 5 yr old who just started a new gym schedule and we are also dealing with some tears.

My daughter will be 6 next month and has been on the mini-team since last February. She is a little older than the other girls on mini-team so she was moved up in hours. Now she is going for 3 hours per day with mostly older girls.

She does ok during practice but when she comes out she cries. She loves gym...I think it is the extra time away from home, new girls that she doesn't know that well, and being the smallest kid in the gym!

I plan to resort to some "big kid" bribes in the next couple days...rewards at the end of practice, making a big deal over things she does at practice, etc. That and a lot of praise for being a "big grown up gymnast".

Good luck to you. We are kind of in the same boat!

 

[skoglund_jenn]

Thanks everyone we had another tough night didn't make it to the floor before the tears began to flow. We decided to leave tonight and she decided she wants to go back with the pre-team, we will try that tomorrow night and see how it goes. We may just need to take a little time off if that doesn't work. Thanks so much for all the ideas and encouragement. I will let you know how tomorrow goes.

Jenn

 

[mariposa]

Just saw this. I remember when my 5 1/2 year old moved to L4, she had some struggles. It didn't last long though and she was happy and loving it again. It was just much harder, she was "behind" them and not at the top of the class.

I would have said give it some time and then see how she feels. You know her best and moving back to pre-team won't be the end of the world. Some kids do best at the top of their group and some kids love being at the bottom and working their way up. Also, some kids really thrive in groups of kids closer to their own age and skill level and others don't mind being the only little kid, etc.

Hope she finds happiness in the gym again and no tears.