Switching gyms?

[dawzow]

Okay, we're in Corpus Christi, TX and there are about 2 serious gyms here for gymnastics.

We're considering switching gyms because the one my daughter is at is just not providing what she wants. My daughter is 6 yrs old and not on team. She is suppose to start level 4 team in January, but they've totally bypassed level 3...also not sure if that's okay?

My daughter LOVES the sport. I don't push her much, she BEGS to go to the gym every day and is going for an hour and 1/2 four days a week, however, she really desires more. She can't get the private lessons she wants or needs due to the coaches schedules...

The problem is, my DD ADORES (and that's an understatement) her current coach (the one she's with the most) and I am concerned about "taking her away" from this particular coach. This coach is great and sweet and a wonderful gymnast and coach, and my daughter is extremely attached....but like I said, she's not getting the practice time she begs for and wants/needs....

Any advice? *sigh* I feel stuck between a rock and a hard place.

 

[Deleted member D3987]

she's 6! and she adores her coach. "my daughter is 6 and not on team". so what? "i don't push her much". oh yes you are. how do you know that she "needs" private lessons? are you assuming that will fast track her to being on team?

and sometimes what 6 year olds want are not congruent with what is reasonable and safe for 6 year olds. that's all.

 

[Muddlethru]

I agree with Dunno. If she loves the coach and loves gymnastics where she currently goes, I will not move her until maybe a few years down the road. She is only 6. If you want piece of mind and are concerned if she is elite material and may be missing the boat because she is at a very "recreational" gym, then maybe you can have her assessed by a qualified coach. Just a word of advise, and I am speaking from experience, often times when a parent sees their kids do gymnastics skills, or show any physical strength or ability, we are impressed and amazed. At least I was and I am still. But realize there are many, many talented kids out there. But it is the love of the sport and the longevity in the sport that will get them past even the most talented kids.

 

[dawzow]

No, really, I am not pushing her. Her current coaches tell everyone they've never met a child as dedicated as my DD is. I had no thoughts of even putting her in gymnastics until she begged. I assumed she'd be happy with twice a week (just like she use to do dance class and it was fine) until she BEGGED for more. She does private lessons because there are no more available classes for her to join! She CRIES when she misses gymnastics (due to being sick or having a different plan, etc.)

I don't appreciate you jumping all over me w/ accusations of "pushing"-- you do not know the situation and as I said, NO, she is not pushed.

I spoke with her current coach whom she loves and her advice was to move her to the better gym...

 

[gym monkeys mom]

I do not think it speaks well of the cooach who is telling you to leave the program that employs her or him. That being said.....

I would sit down talk to HC of Team program and tell them what you are thinking before you jump ship. They may have a plan for your DD or not know how eager she is. I think there are times to leave but, only after trying to solve things at your current club. The mat is not better somewhere else. All gyms have issues. Staying is sometimes better in the long run for the gymnast. Level 3 or 4 are currently required to compete. Some gyms start right at level 5.

If you still are unhappy start by going to open gym elswhere or even a trial class to see what they have to offer your DD. If she even likes it at the other gym. She may like her current gym and that is why she loves gymnastics. With no commitment other than being a class kid you have many freedoms not available to team kids.

You know your child best and in the end that is what is important. Best of luck to you

 

[lhmom]

Regarding the level 3 question, there are many gyms who do not have girls competing until level 4. I have even heard of gyms not starting to compete until level 5. So I think not competing at level 3 is a big deal. As for the hours, how many would she go at the other gym? I think you say that she goes 6 hrs right now. Even though your daughter is "begging" for more, I'd consider what she can handle age wise. DD competed level 4 last season at age 6. Her gym practiced 9 hours a week and we had a definite "adjustment" period when the hours increased. But there are kids who have no problems with it. I guess the key for me would be: is my child was making progress with her skills, is she in a safe training environment and is she happy? I get the feeling at this point that you are leaning towards the other gym and that the coach has given her blessing. Why not examine the other gym further? You may find once you really take a closer look at the new gym, it may not be a good fit for her. Good luck!

 

[Faith]

What is the other gym like? What will it offer her that the current club doesn't? Would the other club put her on the team? Does one or other have older high level gymnasts if that's what your aims are?

She's 6. The hours she does are fine. She may want to do more, but she's growing and her body is immature. Too much too soon risks injury. She starts the team in Jan, why not give that a go.

 

[10.0]

I'm completely confused So they want her on team in January? In level 4? Are they not going to offer more hours in level 4 for her than they did it level 3? Is the other gym cheaper or something allowing you to afford more classes and privates as you said you can't afford more at this gym?

Aside from that a lot of gyms do not compete level 3, actually you do not need to compete until level 5 in the USAG system. A lot of gyms that don't compete until 4 or 5 use the "level 3" time as a developmental time to get the skills rather than repeteting useless routines over and over. So it really isn't a bad thing and no it is not wrong to skip level 3 and go to 4. Gyms who choose to compete levels 2 and 3 especially usually do so to keep the parents happy so they can see cute little Suzie getting medals and ribbons. Level 4 can be argued that it is a prep level to compete so the kid has a year of comp experience under their belt before it counts.

Anyways rant/info. session over. It sounds like you have made up your mind anyways. Good luck.

 

[cher062]

Ok here is my 2 cents worth and please don't see it as jumping down your throat its not meant to be that just comments on what you have posted.

First take a deep breath in and let it out. Then RELAX! your DD is only 6yo and has plenty of time for team and everything else. If it doesn't happen it really isn't a big deal as it sounds like your DD is very happy doing what she is doing. Having FUN regardless of being on team and all the other stuff should be really the only goal we parent have for our gymnasts.

6yo kids want alot of things that doesn't mean they will get it. We as the adults have to regulate that. Sometimes the answer is No and sometimes its yes. It's ok to say no and have our kids deal with that.

As far as privates go - no gymnast should need priviates to "get skills" their program should provide the necessary hours and practice. Privates are more for fine tuning a skill gymnasts already have. So if they are doing a back handspring but their feet aren't pointed they will work on that but even then it's usually only when meets are coming up soon and a private or two will correct the problem. Lots of young gymnasts see others getting privates and then want them doesn't mean they NEED them. Your coach would inform you if your child needs them and since you didn't indicate that the coach said that it probably isn't necessary for your 6yo.

As far as team goes - it sounds like your DD is very happy with her program and her coach and is having FUN! That should be your goal for her above all else. Getting on team, winning ribbons etc is just gravy.

With that said make an appointment with your DD's coach and owner and let them know about your concerns, let them know you want your dd on team and see what their response is. They may have all the same goals you have but are getting to that goal in a way you aren't expecting, or on a different time line than what you are expecting. Remember only the coaches are the experts and know what she NEEDS for practice or anything else.

Keep in mind too gymnastics isn't a race. If it were it wouldn't be a sprint but a long long marathon. It can take years to develop the skills needed to do this sport. Don't compare her to others that may pick up a skill quicker. Every kid moves forward at their own pace. Keep communications open between you and the coaches and really listen to their plan. It might not be the plan YOU are hoping for but it probably is the best plan for your child to get the skills she needs in a safe way as well as at a pace she can make those skills look fabulous. So take a step back and breath.

Make sure if you choose to go to the other gym that you have spoken with them and had them evaluate your DD. Just because you switch gyms doesn't mean you will get what you want with them.

Just remember not to confuse your hopes for your child in this sport with what your DD wants to get out of this sport. It is really easy to get our kids on board with our dreams for them.

 

[helengirl]

I agree with everyone above - don't rush or your daughter is going to reach BURNOUT before she is a teen. Most gyms don't do level 3 - in fact I don't know any that do and there are a lot of gyms in the D/FW area. NEVER leave a coach your child loves UNLESS there is some abuse that you can see, and the child can't. And not that your coach does this ... but sooooo many of them bs parents about how their kid will be the next Olympian ... and the truth is most wont. Trust me, I have seen my 2 go through level 10 and elite. Did you know that every level the participation drops exponentially by half????? There it is - proof in the pudding. Let her enjoy. Don't burn her out. Save your money. Privates are rarely worth it - and never worth it at age 6. Good luck!

 

[thefellowsmom]

Like Cher, I say with all the love and support in my heart -- Take a deep breath. This sport is especially apt at getting us parents spun up on just these kinds of issues and many more. I have been there, believe me.

I agree with the others that at this point gymnastics should be fun fun fun and that should be the priority. There is lots of time for being super serious and if that starts too early or they move too fast now, then the chance of burnout goes through the roof.

With that said, I totally understand your situation with your daughter wanting more and more. My daughter is very similar. She moved to level 4 last January and would spend every waking hour in the gym if I let her (there are many kids like that here, especially the young ones). She also cries when she can't go to gym because she's sick. Once she was balling her eyes out and trying to convince me she could go to gym while laying on the couch with a 104 degree fever.

This intensity works for them but also against them. I guess I feel it is my job to ensure some of that balance that she doesn't impose on herself, make her take a step back and a pause and think about and focus on something other than gymnastics. I have also noticed that the HC seems to be almost holding her back, not letting her go full force now. When we had a discussion about this, he used the analogy of a race horse in the gate, raring to go but being held back so that when the gate opens she can really meet her full potential. He wants to make sure she is still around to make a great optional gymnast.

She was disappointed when she wasn't chosen for the advanced group for summer training, but I just got a chance to watch those girls train for a day and how the coach interacts with them and she just isn't emotionally ready for that and I am glad that they held off for a year to give her time to mature emotionally and harness that intensity and dedication when it is healthy for her. Being in a situation where the coaches are treating your daughter as an individual, understanding of her unique personality traits and talents and making decisions based on her best interest is the most important thing as far as I am concerned.

Now, I am a big advocate of making the current gym situation work if at all possible (sometimes I wonder how we got through the past year, but I am REALLY glad we stuck around) as long as that gym can sustain your gymmie long term. Now, I know that you can always move later if the situation changes, but it is just my opinion that I think starting out in a place that you know can provide your daughter the best environment long term is best. We don't always scrutinize the team coaches and program or even realize our daughters will love gymnastics as much as they do when we sign them up for a preschool class.

I think it is a good idea to take a hard look at the program before joining the team. Once you do join the team, leaving or switching is only going to get harder and friendships and loyalties are going to be even more established. We don't know a lot, by what you said, about what kind of gym you are at now, but if the coach is telling you it is a good idea to move, then my gut would tell me that they know that there program may not be a great long term fit for her for some reason.

Wow, could I be more long winded? Sorry.

I guess with all this, I just mean to say, trust yourself and your relationship with your daughter and her coach. Together you will make the right decision. Good luck, welcome and keep us posted!

 

[Deleted member D3987]

I agree with everyone above - don't rush or your daughter is going to reach BURNOUT before she is a teen. Most gyms don't do level 3 - in fact I don't know any that do and there are a lot of gyms in the D/FW area. NEVER leave a coach your child loves UNLESS there is some abuse that you can see, and the child can't. And not that your coach does this ... but sooooo many of them bs parents about how their kid will be the next Olympian ... and the truth is most wont. Trust me, I have seen my 2 go through level 10 and elite. Did you know that every level the participation drops exponentially by half????? There it is - proof in the pudding. Let her enjoy. Don't burn her out. Save your money. Privates are rarely worth it - and never worth it at age 6. Good luck!

profoundly true!

 

[gym law mom]

Ok, under the current USAG system your dd doesn't have to compete until she's 7 and L5. Sounds like the plan is to move her to team in a few months. What is wrong with that? Many gyms don't have L3 and below teams---its doesn't mean your dd is doomed. There should be no need for privates for a child in a pre-team program. What is she working on in her privates that she is not getting in practice?

I would do 2 things---talk with the owner or HC about their progression through the team levels. Feel free to ask lots of questions. If you don't like what you hear, then go check out the other gym. Watch a L4 team practice and see if this is the kind of enviornment your dd would like. Ask lots of questions--tuition costs, how many girls on team, number of hours of practice, number of meets etc. Then take a step back and decide which program would be best.

Remember kids want lots of things--as parents we have to sift through the "want" and determine the real "need."

 

[Deleted member D3987]

No, really, I am not pushing her. Her current coaches tell everyone they've never met a child as dedicated as my DD is. I had no thoughts of even putting her in gymnastics until she begged. I assumed she'd be happy with twice a week (just like she use to do dance class and it was fine) until she BEGGED for more. She does private lessons because there are no more available classes for her to join! She CRIES when she misses gymnastics (due to being sick or having a different plan, etc.)


I don't appreciate you jumping all over me w/ accusations of "pushing"-- you do not know the situation and as I said, NO, she is not pushed.

I spoke with her current coach whom she loves and her advice was to move her to the better gym...

you'll have to hang around here for awhile. i'm not jumping all over you. and neither is anyone else. and as far as your situation goes...some of us have heard this over and over ad nauseum. there's a plethora of wisdom and experience here at this bucket.

 

[B&M's mom]

Many of us have walked or are walking this same path. We aren't trying to argue, rather we just want you to understand that this sport has a way of consuming your family. I was informed by my daughter, then age 6, that "gymnastics is my passion." I was also told by her coach to move her because she could go elite and they weren't equipped to coach her. In trying to decide how to proceed, I tried to consider the quality of life she and my other child would have with more hours in the gym. Also, whether focussing on gymnastics at age six was wise. They only get to be children once. I wanted her to be able to try different activities before settling on one. (And yes, like your daughter, she would have spent every waking minute in the gym if allowed). I also talked to a sports medicine doctor who advised that at that age 7 hours in the gym max was appropriate. After considering all that, I kept her at the gym where I knew she would have limited hours. Instead of more gym time, she took a dance class which I knew would help with her gymnastics. I also had her join Girl Scouts and take language lessons.

This spring, she did move gyms after competing for 5 years. She's now 11 and will compete at Level 9. She just joined the pre-elite team. She's now training 35 hours a week. She made the decision to pursue this after being exposed to other sports, dance, music, language and Girl Scout activities. She understands what it means to give up parties and vacations to be in the gym. She just started middle school and is homeschooled half a day which means she doesn't get to do the same activities that her friends are doing. Notwithstanding all this, she loves it and would rather be at the gym than anywhere else.

Don't rush to get your daughter into the gym. She had plenty of time to compete if she wants to. Enjoy the time you have right now. Our family time is severely limited because of her practices, I come home from work and leave almost immediately to go get her. The gym is only a half hour away but roundtrip it's an hour. So we don't get home until after dinner time. She then does homework so our time together is extremely short. Make sure that you like the coaches. They'll be spending a lot more time with your child than you do so its important that you agree with how they are working with her. Also consider the financial impact of this sport. It's not just coaching fees, but meet fees, leos, travel and fundraising. Lastly, get all your traveling in. Gymnastics is a year round sport and with competition season in the winter, it's hard to go on vacation or travel for holidays.

Good luck!

 

[gymgal]

lots of good advice here. Just want to put in my 2 cents based on my experiences. At 6, my dd was begging to be in the gym all the time too. At that time, she was in the gym 4-6 hours a week (2 days a week, preteam). I knew I didn't want her in there any more than that based on her age and wanting her to stay in gymnastics longterm (avoid the burnout), even though she begged for more days there. I just reasonsed with her and said that she was still very young and that if she wanted to do gym for a long time (like the big girls) then she needed to pace herself and make sure she didn't get hurt or too tired. I told her what was going to happen (when the coaches felt she was ready for more, they would tell her to come more often). One thing I really wish I would have done was use those younger years to put my dd in dance. i am not big on dance and dd never got into but I can now see that it would have helped her tremendously for grace and balance, which she struggles with today. She's 10 and competes prep-op between Level 6-7. my recommendation would be to keep her in her rec classes until she moves to team in January. Save your money on the private lessons. Tell her that it is good for her to do other things outside the gym as well. It helps her prepare for advanced gymnastics. Stay with dance and let her know this will help with her floor and beam routines later on. And most of don't get caught up in her drama. She's 6. Don't let her begging rule your ideas of what is best for her.

edit
forgot to add that if her coach really feels that a change in gyms is best, I would do it now. Yes, she likes her coach but I'm sure she will like her other ones too. My dd became very attached to coaches throughout the years but she does fine with others as well. If you think she is in gymnastics for the longterm, I would be apt to switch her to the more appropriate gym now. Of course, distance, cost, team size, etc should be taken into consideration.

 

[dinkalina]

switching gyms reply

We actually moved gyms for the exact opposite issue you are experiencing. Decisions were being made about my daughter's future without regard to what she wanted, how I felt about it, or for the well being of her health. Gymnastics for her is all about staying challenged and laughing while you are doing it. The pressure being put on her at the first gym was unreal and sucked all of the joy out of being there. She wasn't even on team nor was she interested in being on team. She being "groomed" for pre-team without a thought as to what she wanted. I don't intend to raise an elite athlete, I intend to raise a beautiful, happy, well rounded child.

 

[Bobby]

The begging to be in the gym bit stood out to me too as my eldest has been the same.

I personally couldn't care less if my DD stays in the sport, much less if she makes it to a high level. If I did care about such things I'd probably consciously favour more limited gym time so that she wouldn't burn out. But really I don't care about the long term - so I really don't care if she burns out. If she does she can just find something else to enjoy. Why not?! It's only gymnastics - and there are cheaper sports out there for her to find (god willing ).

Without knowing what more hours you wished for, I'm just going to assume they're safe and suitable for a 6 y/o.

BUT ... 4 training days pw is already quite generous IMHO. She's already going to gym more days than she's whining about NOT going - which is much luckier than most girls her age. My DD has occasionally had her training sessions extended by an hour or more ... and not only did she not notice but she wasn't entirely convinced she'd really had any extra time. Sense of time is so fuzzy at that age I wouldn't be surprised if your DD was the same. I'm not really seeing much chance of longer training sessions going too far to please your DD - and I doubt she'd get more gym days at that age. So I don't personally see much point in switching at the present time - if extra time is the main goal - especially if she was about to increase her hours in a couple of months on team anyway.

As far as the two gyms are concerned, I personally would be sticking like glue with one until there was a big benefit to changing - especially if my DD was thriving with a coach she adored. I've learned on CB that it can be hard to switch back - so in your shoes I'd be reluctant to have used up all two of my available gym options before my DD turned 7.

I'm not really sure I understand why her coach would have recomended she move?? Did she explain what she thinks the current gym lacks that the other would provide??

 

[Deleted member D3987]

yeah, ^^^ that coach is like some kind of marketing genius. i don't know, maybe i'll try that and see if i GET/keep more kids.

 

[cher062]

Maybe the coach is planning on moving to that gym and is recommending a few chosen kids she want to move with her. I've seen that happen before.