WAG Taking other kids to a meet

[Muddlethru]

I too would divide everything by 4. I would never have anyone subsidize my trip especially if I had planned to go all along. I also tend to pay for the girls’ meals if we all eat together or if they are around and I am buying my kid something. I feel so responsible for them, so I don’t do it that often.

In your case, however if none of the parents including you either did not want to go or cannot afford to go, and you’ve all agreed to subsidize whoever is willing to go and chaperone the girls, then by all means charge them.

I left out the word NOT. I too would not divide everything by 4. I agree with most that if I were going, I would not ask to share hotel or pay for rental car and gas since I was going to pay anyway, especially if the kid is a good friend of my daughter.

@skschlag I suppose it really depends how it all came about.

If the gym says, "we need three parents to volunteer as chaperones" and I volunteer, I would not expect to have to pay anything more than my personal costs that I would have paid anyway, and maybe even some of those should be covered for me.

If I say to a fellow gym mom, "I'm taking dd anyway. So I'm happy to have your child stay with us so you don't have to go. If you want her to join, here're our flight and hotel details. Just let us know." I would expect her to buy her own plane ticket to match mine and then send her dd with some spending money, but in reality I would pay the meals and things I took them to.

If I say to a fellow mom, "Dd and I are going to X. We'd like to invite your dd to join." I would expect to pay 100% of the cost of her dd as my guest.

So it requires more information than I have available.

I agree with this as well.

 

[suebee]

With the additional information of the OP, and assuming that the travel costs are not a particularly big financial hardship for the OP or any of the other families, if I were the parent of a child OP was taking, I would probably insist on paying not only my child’s expenses but also some of the parent’s travel expenses, for helping me out and showing my gratitude.

That being said, I’d probably also be miffed if we hadn’t discussed the specific finances before and the OP asked me to pay for part of her plane ticket. I’d do it, but I think I would sort of not feel great about it.

I hate potential misunderstandings. I think that’s why I try to discuss all the details first so everyone knows what they’re getting into and what they’re agreeing on.

 

[twinmomma]

Of course I would work it all out up front. That being said, the ONLY way I'd ask for any share of rental car or hotel is if I had to change what I would have done had it only been me and DD. For example, if I was originally going to get a compact car but now need an SUV to carry all of us and our things. Or I need two hotel rooms rather than one. But in actual practice? I've taken DD's bestie with us to clinics and meets and never asked for a thing. But her mom always pitches in. Last summer we took DS's best friend with us on the baseball trip to Puerto Rico. Parents paid for his air fare and part of the room. We also took the kids to a surprise few days in NYC prior to the PR part of the trip. Stayed with my friend and while his parents gave him spending money, we covered most of his expenses. He's like a third child to us anyway.

For me, being trusted with someone else's kid means treating them like family as much as I can. It's hard being away from home with someone else's parents. I wouldn't commit to it unless I could afford to.

 

[mignonone]

We will be taking a teammate/friend soon for a travel meet out of state. Her sibling is going through major medical stuff right now, so mom is unsure where they will be at time of competition. She has traveled with us before, but this will be the first time by plane. Mom is paying for ticket, spending money, day at Disneyland, food costs. I have never asked for hotel help as I would be paying for it all myself anyway. She's like a family member so not a big deal.