Women Teammate Drama

[zoe_the_gymnast_]

Today at practice, a few teammates were arguing over something, and it just got worse and worse. One of my teammates brought me by mimicking me. I was cheering her on while we were working on beam skills, and she started mocking me. I'm not trying not to sound like a complainer (I'm not), but I really need advice on this topic.

 

[ollieblueeyes]

You ignore it. The less reaction you give the better. I swear she is just trying to get under your skin and if it doesn't look like it is working she will stop because she is the one looking silly. I know, easier said than done, right?

Also, keep in mind this isn't about you most likely. When my DD teammates are being snarky, I tell her they are feeling insecure about something themselves. It's sad that's how some women operate, but not terribly uncommon. Hope that helps.

 

[Deleted member 14190]

A question I ask my kids when something like that happens is.... How is that helping the team? For which they cannot answer. That is the only question you need to hear In Your brain while you are ignoring it.

 

[Mrs. Puma]

I hate mean girl stuff I'm sorry this is happening. Like this others said-ignore it. My mom always says "It's never wrong to take the high road." Good luck

 

[TxGymMom1]

As others have said, do your best to ignore it. We are having a mean girl issue on my DD's team, and as I advise her ... stay away from her, don't talk to her, don't mention her, and don't look at her. Take the high road - always. It's weird how often the apple doesn't fall far from the tree though -- my DD will mention a mean girl, and chances are -- she has a mean-girl mom -- who I stay away from and ignore. Good luck!

 

[Mrs. Puma]

my DD will mention a mean girl, and chances are -- she has a mean-girl mom -

Isn't this the truth?! I tell my girls that even though such behavior is not right, to try and keep in mind sometimes things are going on at home that might be leading to said behavior. It doesn't make it any easier, but maybe thinking of it that way can help you be the bigger person.

 

[gymmom8772]

As others have said, do your best to ignore it. We are having a mean girl issue on my DD's team, and as I advise her ... stay away from her, don't talk to her, don't mention her, and don't look at her. Take the high road - always. It's weird how often the apple doesn't fall far from the tree though -- my DD will mention a mean girl, and chances are -- she has a mean-girl mom -- who I stay away from and ignore. Good luck!

 

[gymmom8772]

Ain't that the truth!!!^^^^

 

[hearts_and_stars]

Wow! Talk about a thread I needed to see just when I needed to see it!

We are having similar issues at DD's gym and while it's never directly affected her, it seems the age difference in the group is the root cause. One teammate just cannot accept that the younger ones are 1) there, 2) given the same amount of time as the older girls, and 3) are quite a bit better than the older girls, even though they are lower level (not that they are superstars or phenoms, but they come every day, work hard, have positive attitudes, listen to and respect the coaches, and try to make the corrections they're given--surprised their skills are moving faster than the older girls who do the exact opposite of that last? I think not). The coach doesn't want to deal with it and has addressed the issue with the girls, but it still continues (just at a much quieter volume level). DD becomes quiet upset because her teammates are upset by the name calling and put downs.

I have told her she is right to stand up for her teammates, but ONLY if it does not disrupt practice anymore than practice has been disrupted. Parents of the targeted girls have addressed the issue with the coach individually as well. I just don't think it is possible to prevent snarky teenage girls from being, well, snarky, especially if they believe they are the best in the gym and should be catered to. As long as the coach is aware of the issue, the girls need to trust the coach to handle it.