Women Teammate.....

[emilykatherine]

On my team there is this one girl who never works hard, complains about everything, and threatens to quit on a daily biases. Well last night we were on vault working vaults up to a mat and my coach told us to add one, and well she didn't like that idea. She told our coach she couldn't do it and walked off to go. Well it was at that point she have up on anything that day. My coach told her after 3 turns that if her attitude didn't improve that she would have to leave, and at this point she just stormed off. Non of us saw that she had left( I'm going of of what she told me) and so after vault we go back to the team room and she starts crying and yelling she's quitting, and then she took all of her stuff and left. We though she meant it because that was like the 5th time she had done that. Well her mom couldn't come get her so she went out to bars, well because she had stormed out she wasn't allowed to and so she had to go sit in the back room (I was doing hw in the team room and I had to go tell my coach she wouldn't leave me alone and she was complaining so much) anyway after bars she was told she had to condition and through the whole rotation she wouldn't work, complaining the whole time. Finally when practice was over my coach had to talk to her and her mom. I though she was done, it's been so bad non of the kids on team like her and all of mom would prefer we don't work with her in groups, so I went and texted her this morning and asked are you really quitting? She replied no eventing is fine now.

How am I gonna deal with her, I can't Takeuchi longer of this.

 

[txgal]

I feel your angst. DD had a similar issue with a teammate not too long ago.

My advice to you would be the same I gave to DD...focus on you and your gymnastics. You are in the gym for you, not her. If the teammate interferes with that, calmly approach your coach, explain that the teammate is interfering with your training time and request the coach to separate the two of you, if possible. If not, remove yourself to the other side of the practice area. It didn't solve the problem for DD, but it at least put some (physical) distance between her and the other kid.

(You didn't say how old you are or the level you train. DD was L4 so it was a bit easier for the coach to separate the two girls since there were 11 girls in the practice group).

 

[Deleted member 14190]

Ignore her. All she is seeking is attention.

 

[teksquad]

I also understand what you are going through. We have the same situation going on. I agree with txgal...do your best to focus on your own gymnastics, and let your coach know when it interferes with your training.

I am interested in knowing how these kinds of situations play out. Our situation has been going on for a long time, and the end doesn't appear to be in sight....​

 

[txgal]

Ours hasn't resolved itself yet, either. It did help that DD moved up and is now training with the optionals girls and the other kid switched gymnastics programs. Even though they're practices sometimes overlap, they don't have any contact with each other. The drama is still occurring, because this kid's behavior mortally embarrasses both my girls. I've told them to just put their heads down, focus on what they're doing, and pretend she doesn't exist. That's really all I can do--the rest is up to the coaches.​

 

[Deleted member D3987]

Ignore her. All she is seeking is attention.

that ^^^

 

[sce]

I'm sorry you have such a frustrating teammate. All you can do is go the gym and do your job. Don't get caught up in her drama. Let the coach deal with her. If she is distracting you, try to get space from her or ask the coach for assistance.

 

[emilykatherine]

Thanks, I try to distance myself, normally she just follows me, but I try to do it more. I just wish she woul grow up she's 15 and plenty old enough to realize that this is not ok, thanks again for the advice

 

[emilykatherine]

I thought I would updates as of tonight's practice, I went and she was there. We went to beam and I distanced myself, and the floor, I could really distance myself but I tried to not talk to her, but then she had a melt down because she couldn't so this one skill. She say there for a good ten minutes and then decided she would go the other direction for her tumbling and everything was fine, until she said something ride to me that I'm not going to mention. I had a talk with a coach( she doesn't coach me just the younger girls) and she asked about Tuesdays incident I told her and she said at her old gym she would not have been allowed to come back. When I got home I told my mom everything and she decided it was time to email my coach about it, she thinks it's distracting everybody from staying focused, so I said ok hopefully tomorrow will be better. On a bright note she said today she had to pick either gym or cheer and I think she might choose cheer!

 

[BlairBob]

I was gonna say you should ask her if she wants to do soccer or chess, but cheer works.

 

[Aussie_coach]

I think it is important to remember that each person has their own individual challenges to deal with and each person reacts to them differently.

If we just kick everyone out when their behaviour is not easy to deal with then those challenges are never dealt with, they are just swept under the rug. Gymnastics is about so much more than competing and learning skills. Gymnastics is a sport that can develop your character so much. It can bring out many undesirable aspects in someone like excessive competitiveness, fear, frustration and so on and it can help those who struggle with these emotions to learn to conquer them. It could be the thing that changes their life.

 

[LucyTRA]

This ^^^

I totally understand that it is a pain to have someone like this in your team, and I'm not saying that it's ok.

However, this girl sounds like she is really struggling with stuff (and most of what you say relates to her kicking off when she feels like she can't do something.) Have you thought that perhaps she doesn't have much confidence in her ability (or she doesn't actually have the skills yet..?) to do what she is being asked, and is scared that the other girls in the team (who already don't like her very much and hope she chooses cheer and leaves) might judge her or think badly of her when they see it? I've certainly felt that way.

Or have you ever cried or got really frustrated because you couldn't do something that you really really WANTED to do but you knew that you were holding yourself back because you were scared or uncertain? You don't cry about that stuff because you want to leave gymnastics, you cry or scream or get mad or whatever you do because you love gymnastics, but the thought of leaving might cross your mind. Or it might make you feel like you're not good enough to be there, that you've reached you limit.

If she is complaining to you it might be that you are the person she trusts most. While that in itself can be a bit inconvenient, it might pay to actually talk to her next time she is sounding off and not just dismiss it. then you will also get the chance to point out how her behavior affects you.

 

[emilykatherine]

Sorry when I meant comeback I meant for the res of this week. Anyway thanks, we used to be really good friends because we are the same age, but this year I moved a level higher than she was and now it seems like she in a competition with me to get to the same level again. Ill take everything you guys said and think abou it.