Parents The dreaded “not moving up” conversation

[Cmumgym]

With lower levels uptraining is important. Level 3 routines can easily be done throughout half an hour of each rotation then the next half hour can be used for uptraining. Unless a gym is specifically looking for medals at certain levels. Our gym is designed to go through lower levels to achieve the next level whether they place or not does not matter. If they have the skill to get to state great if they place at state does not matter. Once our gymnasts get to voluntary levels that is when true work and dedication takes place. With voluntary levels I would just be making sure your DD is happy and enjoys the sport because the amount of gymnasts that drop out from level 3-4 to 7 is huge because both families and gymnasts don’t understand the actual work and pressure it takes. Don’t make big decisions at this time

 

[Deleted member 18037]

I don't fully believe in the gym right now.

JMO

If I don’t trust or believe in the people I leave my daughter with, we move to a place where I do.

Because if I don’t believe/trust them my daughter won’t either. And to have her spend a good portion of her waking hours with people I don’t trust.... not going to happen.

Now I don’t always understand their choices or the plan. I have conversations with them to help me with understanding but I believe and trust them.

There have been a few times on my kids journey where I thought she should of been moved up. And once I was able to see the coaches thought process and see where my kid was at it has turned out to be the correct decision.

There are many foundation skills at the compulsory level that help the skills they are working toward.

We’ve had one gym change. I simply didn’t trust what they were doing.

Our current gym bumped my kid back to level 2. She was very a disappointed 7 year old at the time. She is now a Level 8 (for the second year). The same level as the kids who were level 3 all those seasons ago. A couple might get to level 9 this year. Some scored out of 5 and went to 6. My daughter did not, she had the scores to move. Coach felt she needed the time at 5. The kids who scored out did 2 seasons of 7, mine did one.

All of this to say. It’s a long journey. And they all have their own path and get to where they need to and are capable of being.

2 caveats. I trusted our gym and coaches. And we up train. Although less so during meet season. And our coaches would never make a move up decision until closer to meet season. And they wouldn’t make a decision based on one “test” session

 

[Ilovebagels]

JMO

If I don’t trust or believe in the people I leave my daughter with, we move to a place where I do.

Because if I don’t believe/trust them my daughter won’t either. And to have her spend a good portion of her waking hours with people I don’t trust.... not going to happen.

Now I don’t always understand their choices or the plan. I have conversations with them to help me with understanding but I believe and trust them.

There have been a few times on my kids journey where I thought she should of been moved up. And once I was able to see the coaches thought process and see where my kid was at it has turned out to be the correct decision.

There are many foundation skills at the compulsory level that help the skills they are working toward.

We’ve had one gym change. I simply didn’t trust what they were doing.

Our current gym bumped my kid back to level 2. She was very a disappointed 7 year old at the time. She is now a Level 8 (for the second year). The same level as the kids who were level 3 all those seasons ago. A couple might get to level 9 this year. Some scored out of 5 and went to 6. My daughter did not, she had the scores to move. Coach felt she needed the time at 5. The kids who scored out did 2 seasons of 7, mine did one.

All of this to say. It’s a long journey. And they all have their own path and get to where they need to and are capable of being.

2 caveats. I trusted our gym and coaches. And we up train. Although less so during meet season. And our coaches would never make a move up decision until closer to meet season. And they wouldn’t make a decision based on one “test” session

Really appreciate all of this and the perspective, but just for accuracy, I don’t think I said I don’t trust the gym. I just don’t fully understand their choice for my kid and am just trying to make the best decision, given the facts.

My daughter finished up her trial at the far away /logistically hard gym last night and I still don’t love enough enough to switch , just for level 4, because of all the reasons people have shared in this thread. Just hard because she was so happy there, like in heaven. Still holding out a sliver of hope that level3 coach figures something out . If not, i guess it helps me to know she tried.

 

[3rd_time_around]

A gym with such stringent move-up requirements would be a "no-go" for my DD who suffers from anxiety. Knowing that a level decision for the whole year would be made based solely on her performance on one day would put her over the edge. But, we don't have elite or college aspirations. We just finished level 4 and I don't think the fact that she did level 3 made any difference. If my daughter had a decent kip (and all her other skills), I wouldn't want to waste time and money doing level 3 (especially the dreaded mill circle and shoot through on bars.) To me it is concerning that coach thinks she should do 4 but owner isn't willing to listen (especially when injury was a factor).

Not having bars is a very big reason to not move up to 4. A “decent” kip can kill a score and her confidence. The deductions on bars are many. Bars is often what holds a gymnast back from advancing, it’s a hard event. I’ve seen some scary and disastrous level 4 bars, and even if they’re nearly perfect on the other 3 events, if the bars aren’t ready they should not move up.

 

[3rd_time_around]

I would still take her for an evaluation at the other good gym. (You did say it’s not as far away as the other two, right?). I would not be happy knowing that her coach thinks she should be L4 but that the “process is the process”.

Sometimes coaches say what the parents want to hear. Not hating, but I’ve been around the sport a long time.

 

[amiandjim]

Not having bars is a very big reason to not move up to 4. A “decent” kip can kill a score and her confidence. The deductions on bars are many. Bars is often what holds a gymnast back from advancing, it’s a hard event. I’ve seen some scary and disastrous level 4 bars, and even if they’re nearly perfect on the other 3 events, if the bars aren’t ready they should not move up.

She actually clarified that she doesn’t have level 3 bars bc she hasn’t learned the mill circle or front hip. She has her level 4 bar routine apparently.

 

[duyetanh]

The problem is you said you don’t fully believe in the gym right now. That was your direct quote. Idk about you, but we don’t have extra cash to pay out for something for my child if we don’t believe in it. That means it is time to go. My biggest issue with your situation is your child actually has all the level four skills now, and her actual coach has let it slip that she should move on...Idk when your child’s season starts, but there has to be at least a few more months to work on improving those skills...and if her actual coach said she should be moving up? Um, that’s a problem. If the head coach won’t budge, your child’s coach really should not have told you this at all, because it has potential to create some real mine field conflict. I know in your situation, we would not stay, even if it meant my child did level 3 somewhere else. Yes it’s only a lower level compulsory some would argue, and yes she is young. But it’s the way the gym is handling the situation that would make me leave.

 

[Ilovebagels]

The problem is you said you don’t fully believe in the gym right now. That was your direct quote. Idk about you, but we don’t have extra cash to pay out for something for my child if we don’t believe in it. That means it is time to go. My biggest issue with your situation is your child actually has all the level four skills now, and her actual coach has let it slip that she should move on...Idk when your child’s season starts, but there has to be at least a few more months to work on improving those skills...and if her actual coach said she should be moving up? Um, that’s a problem. If the head coach won’t budge, your child’s coach really should not have told you this at all, because it has potential to create some real mine field conflict. I know in your situation, we would not stay, even if it meant my child did level 3 somewhere else. Yes it’s only a lower level compulsory some would argue, and yes she is young. But it’s the way the gym is handling the situation that would make me leave.

Yes this is the problem in a nutshell. Bigger problem is we don’t have a great alternative at the moment, so what do we do? I’ll call the close by fancy gym and see what they say. But we may just have no choice.

Also, full transparency I forgot I typed that I don’t believe in the gym lol. But if they really put her in the level 3 class I will stand by that comment. I just feel really bad for my dd who worked so hard and knows exactly what is happening.

 

[FlippinPrincess]

Yes this is the problem in a nutshell. Bigger problem is we don’t have a great alternative at the moment, so what do we do? I’ll call the close by fancy gym and see what they say. But we may just have no choice.

Yep, call the 'fancy' gym. You may be surprised. They may see potential in her and maybe she can at least work out with the 4's. However, I believe level 3 at a gym that doesn't mess around is WAY better than a gym that is operating like your current one. If this drama is happening at levels 3/4, I foresee you being very unhappy here.

You should also know, when you move to a better gym, be prepared for your daughter to repeat or be placed lower than you anticipated. This isn't always the case but happens quite often. Might be best for you to get her there now since you had mentioned possibly moving her to the new gym in the future anyhow.

 

[3rd_time_around]

She actually clarified that she doesn’t have level 3 bars bc she hasn’t learned the mill circle or front hip. She has her level 4 bar routine apparently.

I got that, but her idea of having the skills for the level 4 bar routine may be different than the coach’s idea of having it. We don’t know, we haven’t seen it. My did has a BHS, but I know it’s not being executed like it should be—she has a lot to fix about it.

 

[Deleted member 18037]

Really appreciate all of this and the perspective, but just for accuracy, I don’t think I said I don’t trust the gym. I just don’t fully understand their choice for my kid and am just trying to make the best decision, given the facts.

Your typing.....

and I don't fully believe in the gym right now.

Your words. I don't fully believe in the gym right now......................................

Again, JMO......................

You trust or you don't....

If you don't its time to move on

 

[John]

Sometimes as the parent we have to make tough decisions our children don't like. Your daughter expressed her sadness in not moving up yet doesn't want to move? That's because she is comfortable and had friends at her current gym. Give her another year there and she will have more friends and more comfort. Moving will be even harder.

I moved DD two years ago. We left an IGC gym for JO. It was hard both physically and mentally on her. She left friends who were like family. She wanted more but being ten at the time could not pull the trigger for herself. I had to help her, iamdated that she do trials at new gyms. When the trials we're over i simply asked her where the better gymnastics happened. She picked a new gym on her own

She is better than ever at her gym with new friends and new extended family.

My two cents.

 

[Ilovebagels]

Update! Thanks to the encouragement from this group, we tried the fancy gym and they invited her to join their level 4 team! Luckily she never even had to show them a front hip circle. We are all thrilled!

 

[duyetanh]

Update! Thanks to the encouragement from this group, we tried the fancy gym and they invited her to join their level 4 team! Luckily she never even had to show them a front hip circle. We are all thrilled!

You just never know what will happen unless you try.
Congrats to her!