Parents The Perils of Rushing Young Gymnasts - LONG!

[mtbmom]

Posting late to thank you for sharing your story--takes a lot of courage to put it out there knowing there will always be one who uses it to attack your choices. So glad things are working out for your daughter now!! Hope you'll be sharing meet video for her this year

New vid (that DD aproves) will be posted, absolutely!

 

[thawley64]

Similar experience and thanks for the advice...

I'm crying as I'm reading that because my dd is going through that same thing (only like in the middle of your experience). She's just turned 8 and she's been at the same gym since she was 4. I guess it was always recreational until she got invited to come onto the training team when she was 6. She did very well at Level 3 (especially on bars) and always placed in within gym competitions. But when she got to level 4, it seemed as though all of her team mates and she were not doing well at comps.

When the season was over, only 2 girls had made it to states. So, the parents and coaches decided to let the girls repeat level 4. However, mid-stream, some of the girls were bumped up to 5 (absolutely too early). Not mine though, she stayed back, but "practiced" with these new level 5 girls. When she seemed to be getting discouraged (and you could tell because she stopped listening and even now continues to just throw her arms and legs around until she looks like the scarecrow in the wizzard of oz), we decided to try another gym, closer to our house with a better reputation. Guess what? They said she wasn't even ready to be a first year level 4. Especially with her new attitude of "I don't care." They also explained what she needed to work on so that she could come back at the end of the season and try again. I can't tell you know the conversation opened my eyes.

If you ask my dd if she wants to quit or go to tramp or another sport, she cries like someone wants to take her dolls away.

Needless to say, this whole experience was heartbreaking and stressful. We could have done level 3 over at new gym if there had been enough room on the team. So now, we're back with old gym and trying to make the best of it, working closely with a new coach who is trying to help all of the girls improve their "pretty." I'm glad she didn't move to level 5, but I'm just heart broken that I didn't know what I know now about what she needed from the coaching.

When I watch her trying to straighten out what's been bent and sloppy for 4 years, my heart breaks all over again. I'm crying now. She really loves this sport and now she has to give it all she can do pull it together just to be where she should have been 2 or 3 years ago. So, thank you for sharing this note. It helps more than you know to hear other stories and not feel like you're insane!

 

[Pickle's Mom]

Hindsight is always 20/20. There was serious question if Pickle was going to move to L5 after her first L4 season. At her gym, it is very normal to repeat a season, but it always falls the numbers of girls in each group and who will be coaching what. Pickle had a very good L4 season (placed 5th AA at states – broke 9.5 on bars and beam), but couldn’t tumble well and could barely do the L4 vault.

They ended up moving her up (against the owner’s reservations) because her L4 coach couldn’t bear to have her do mill circles for another year.
It turned out to be a good thing for her. She stepped up to the new challenges and got the L5 vault the week before the first meet. And learning to do a ROBHSBHS finally fixed the problems she was having with her ROBHS.

I guess what I’m saying is, I could be you, but my story just happened to turn out differently. Sometimes when kids are pushed upwards, it turns out well and sadly there’s no way to know until you are into it.
I’m glad things are going better with your daughter now.

 

[thawley64]

I get it and thank you...

OK. I see what you are saying. We're going to try to keep pushing through to figure out what we need for our miss thang. It feels good to be able to share with others to see what's out there.

 

[mtbmom]

OK. I see what you are saying. We're going to try to keep pushing through to figure out what we need for our miss thang. It feels good to be able to share with others to see what's out there.

Also remember that DD's situation is slightly different from your DD's & Pickle's, I think. My DD skipped Level 3 despite the fact that she did not have the nec. skills. This was a very important time in her development as a beginning gymnast. This really was where she would have built that strong foundation for levels 4 and 5. Later it became apparent that she needed to make up for that year. Unfortunately, it took going backwards and going to another gym where she would be nurtured.

On a bright note, she started at this gym in mid-August. They ran through all four events for their meet on Sunday and her coach told her she is the most improved on Floor. I am so excited to see her on Sunday. Parents don't stay to watch at this gym so the only time I see her is if they keep her after for a few minutes to work on something. I am really looking forward to seeing her. I hope she has a great meet that really continues to build on her new hard won confidence.

 

[mtbmom]

Have more to add that wasn't mentioned on my previous post.

My only advice to Thawley64 (or any parent) is to watch how your daughter reacts. Support her through her doubts. My single best advice for any parent is don't allow the coaches to (or don't parents' be) in a rush to move to the next level until the athlete has mastered the current one. That is why there are levels. I think both coaches and parents sometimes forget this.

 

[lilgymmie7]

Are there really gyms that push the kids along with out regard to their mastery of the skills? That sounds very foreign to me. I have an 18 yo DD who did gymnastics and even with her, she seemed to be uptrained quite a bit. Not having a skill for her present level was never an option. However, her gym started competing at level 5. So as a level 5 she had her 6 skills etc.
Little 6 yo DD is now the gymmie and she is father along than her older sis'. She is a level 5 and will compete USA for the first time in January- the weekend of her birthday. She also has some of her level 6 skills and beyond. She has the 6 beam skills and the 6 floor skills. Vault is a given since it is the same as level 5. I wouldn't have DD at a gym for very long if I experienced what you have. What I have done in the past is look at how the gyms fair with others around them at meets. Little DD was an oddity, but they have coached little ones like her before. She was a 4 yo level 4 when she started at her current gym.
Thanks for your post. You have opened my eyes to something I hadn't thought much about. I have placed a lot of trust on DD's coaches.