WAG The place of loyalty in gymnastics?

[SignHere]

Did you stay or did you go??

Ali's Mom. I ended up leaving before I had found a new gym for DD.

 

[my4buffaloes]

I think people are forgetting the relationship an athlete has with a coach. The trust that is needed for success is huge. You can not strictly look at this like a business model or it will never work. Thinking of it as a business relationship can be a small part of your decision, but can't be the whole thing. There are too many issues involved.

 

[SignHere]

Auto mechanic, dentist???? Clearly some here have no idea what is involved with coaching gymnastics and the time and effort we put into kids. Then throw in the attachment factor that we have with your kids and you have what is termed as, "a smack in the face" and of course the "your not good enough, so we are going elsewhere" effect.... Well,,,, thats pretty much it, you can't argue with feelings,, and well,,, we have them! I guess a great analogy would be if your kids just up and left and got new parents! "
QUOTE]
Coachp, I appreciate that you are attached to your gymnasts. But to compare yourself to a parent is disingenuous and HUGELY insulting. You did not give birth to my daughter, and despite the fact that you may spend a great deal of time with her, you are not responsible for her upbringing.

 

[mommyof1]

Hmm, well since we are talking about this again. I trust these people for many hours a week with my child. Of course I have more loyalty to them than to my doctor or dentist or mechanic. They in turn have a greater responsibility toward her, in that I expect them to care about her as a person first and foremost. If I felt they didn't, my loyalty would erode quickly. With that said, this sport just takes some patience and the grass isn't always greener at another gym. Once you find the right fit for your child, let the coaches coach.

I agree with 100% of this. There are a number of coaches on the ChalkBucket who sound like they run stellar programs and invest a lot in their gymnasts, and it is natural for them to feel slighted when parents pull their kids. But no gym is a perfect fit for every kid, and there are plenty of other gyms out there that aren't a good place for *any* kid. Sure, not every gym move is justified, but some are. Parents who move their kids are not necessarily fickle gym-hoppers looking to have everything their way. Some of us are just trying our best to find the right fit for our kids, and once we find it we are more than happy to sit back, relax, and let the coaches do their job.

 

[Deleted member 14190]

Signhear, being a parent myself, it was not my intent to insult anyone. But actually we do quite a bit of upbringing. All I am mearly attempting it to give those who dont understand why coaches get upset when a child leaves, some insight. That is all.

 

[SignHere]

I agree with 100% of this. There are a number of coaches on the ChalkBucket who sound like they run stellar programs and invest a lot in their gymnasts, and it is natural for them to feel slighted when parents pull their kids. But no gym is a perfect fit for every kid, and there are plenty of other gyms out there that aren't a good place for *any* kid. Sure, not every gym move is justified, but some are. Parents who move their kids are not necessarily fickle gym-hoppers looking to have everything their way. Some of us are just trying our best to find the right fit for our kids, and once we find it we are more than happy to sit back, relax, and let the coaches do their job.

I agree with this as well. And a gym switch may be what is absolutely the right thing for a child, while the gym HAS NOT CHANGED one bit. Even if the child's goals remain the same ( I.e., to compete JO). A gym may be completely the right place for my daughter at 7 years of age, but at 10, it may not be a good fit for her. People do change. Even kids.

 

[Moxiegrl83]

I can definitely see where Coachp is coming from. Unfortunately I've seen several instances where the athlete/coach relationship was great, but the parents chose to switch gyms because they were upset with move-ups or perceived slights. When in all actuality the coaches had no idea there was a problem. It hurts when one day that kid is just gone.

 

[Deleted member 14190]

And sorry for all the spelling errors. I am using my phone and I am blind ! .

 

[Natasha]

I think we can all agree that some parents sometimes move kids for the wrong reasons and that some parents sometimes move kids for the right reasons and that the line between the two can sometimes be hard to see. And because emotions are involved, the coaches are going to tend to believe it is the wrong reasons and the parents are going to tend to believe it is the right reasons…and each will sometimes be right and sometimes wrong.

 

[Deleted member 14190]

I think we can all agree that some parents sometimes move kids for the wrong reasons and that some parents sometimes move kids for the right reasons and that the line between the two can sometimes be hard to see. And because emotions are involved, the coaches are going to tend to believe it is the wrong reasons and the parents are going to tend to believe it is the right reasons…and each will sometimes be right and sometimes wrong.

Well said!

 

[Natasha]

Signhear, being a parent myself, it was not my intent to insult anyone. But actually we do quite a bit of upbringing. All I am mearly attempting it to give those who dont understand why coaches get upset when a child leaves, some insight. That is all.

My dd's current coach spends much more time with her than any other adult and has a huge influence on her. We've had several discussions about this and in some ways he really does co-parent to an extent. If we ever left this gym (which I do not foresee ever happening) I imagine he would be hurt and I would understand that. What I have difficulty understanding though is former coach/owner who was no longer coaching nor providing a consistent high level optional coach accusing us of being disloyal. It sounds like your gym is set up like our new gym where each coach has one main coach (with perhaps maybe some event coaching). Old gym was constant multiple coaches for each event, different coaches on different days. Owner insisted that was the philosophy that worked for them. I disagree as I now see how important the trust issue is for gymnasts especially working these L9-L10 skills.

 

[gymdog]

I agree with 100% of this. There are a number of coaches on the ChalkBucket who sound like they run stellar programs and invest a lot in their gymnasts, and it is natural for them to feel slighted when parents pull their kids. But no gym is a perfect fit for every kid, and there are plenty of other gyms out there that aren't a good place for *any* kid. Sure, not every gym move is justified, but some are. Parents who move their kids are not necessarily fickle gym-hoppers looking to have everything their way. Some of us are just trying our best to find the right fit for our kids, and once we find it we are more than happy to sit back, relax, and let the coaches do their job.

True. I'm just saying some issues can be worked out, and trying to explain the reasoning behind why coaches communicate with each other when kids are trying to transfer. I wasn't really implying any kind of judgment as to whether it's ever the right decision. Just about every gym takes transfers, even from other coaches they are friendly with. Heck, sometimes coaches ASK other gyms to accept one of their current gymnasts as a transfer.

There have definitely been some people who I've been happy to see the back of. I'm aware when it's not working either. And when your child is completely disrespectful and actually does not listen and argues with me because you are taking her to every other gym in the area for tryouts, it makes it easy not to be that sad. I would never attempt to prevent anyone from leaving, what's the point? It will just distract from those who are working with me.

 

[OzZee]

Another thought is what leads to loyalty to a gym program?

Two gym programs we have been with.
One - great coaching. High achieving at all levels.
But no communication whatsoever. Not even hello/goodbye on passing. A strong feeling that the level 7-10 and elite program is a separate entity and greatly favored.
No gymnast activities.
No viewing allowed. Drop off/pick up (preferably without entering the gym) and pay up. (Lol invoices are communicated).

The other one. Great communication, (emails, handbooks, Facebook, website) , friendly coaches. All team members feel part of the club and team. Sleepovers/fun team building events arranged.

Which one inspires loyalty to the club?!

 

[Deleted member 14190]

Another thought is what leads to loyalty to a gym program?

Two gym programs we have been with.
One - great coaching. High achieving at all levels.
But no communication whatsoever. Not even hello/goodbye on passing. A strong feeling that the level 7-10 and elite program is a separate entity and greatly favored.
No gymnast activities.
No viewing allowed. Drop off/pick up (preferably without entering the gym) and pay up. (Lol invoices are communicated).

The other one. Great communication, (emails, handbooks, Facebook, website) , friendly coaches. All team members feel part of the club and team. Sleepovers/fun team building events arranged.

Which one inspires loyalty to the club?!

Totally depends on the individual.

 

[Anna's_Mom]

A

actually teachers do not spend anywhere near the time with a child, compared to a coach. Not even in the same ball park. We spend several years and even a decade with a child... And the time spent is way more personal. The only exception would be a very small town that has the same teacher from 1st grade to 10th, and in that case I would speculate that a teacher of that caliber would become equally attached and offended if a parent pulled then. Just making a general statement/analogy. But you get the picture. You said you didn't get it so I am trying to somewhat explain our position. Hope that makes sense.

Well, that's probably true for a gymnast who is several years into their training. But remember that many people here are only a year or two into being gymnasts/gym parents. And there are gyms where the coaches change frequently or have different coaches for each level, so what you say may be true for you but isn't universal.

 

[littlegirlsdream]

Another thought is what leads to loyalty to a gym program?

Two gym programs we have been with.
One - great coaching. High achieving at all levels.
But no communication whatsoever. Not even hello/goodbye on passing. A strong feeling that the level 7-10 and elite program is a separate entity and greatly favored.
No gymnast activities.
No viewing allowed. Drop off/pick up (preferably without entering the gym) and pay up. (Lol invoices are communicated).

The other one. Great communication, (emails, handbooks, Facebook, website) , friendly coaches. All team members feel part of the club and team. Sleepovers/fun team building events arranged.

Which one inspires loyalty to the club?!

I agree with coachp, it does depend on the individual. For me I prefer your gym 1 exameple. The social aspect can and should be arranged by parents after gym hours. It's been my experience the less parent influence there is in the gym the better at least when you are talking about level 7 and up. If what a parent or a child is looking for is more of a social experience then they would likely prefer gym example 2.

 

[xxStumpyxx]

Another thought is what leads to loyalty to a gym program?

Two gym programs we have been with.
One - great coaching. High achieving at all levels.
But no communication whatsoever. Not even hello/goodbye on passing. A strong feeling that the level 7-10 and elite program is a separate entity and greatly favored.
No gymnast activities.
No viewing allowed. Drop off/pick up (preferably without entering the gym) and pay up. (Lol invoices are communicated).

The other one. Great communication, (emails, handbooks, Facebook, website) , friendly coaches. All team members feel part of the club and team. Sleepovers/fun team building events arranged.

Which one inspires loyalty to the club?!

Gym 2 sounds great in an ideal world, gym 1 would create less drama, it is all well and good being frienday with the coach, no problem with having a friendly chat with your child's coach but in my opinion it shouldn't go to far, no being Facebook friends with your child's coach, no socialising outside the gym unless it is a gym social event. I have seen families getting very closed to coaches, I have also seen this backfire or starting to backfire when things go wrong, it can cause all types of problems when you have all the coaches "in your pocket" so to speak, the mess it can cause when it all goes pear shape in unbelievable. I have no experience with this but have seen the cracks starting to appear with those that are close to the coaches.

When it comes to loyalty, I would like to think that we are loyal to our gym, we have stuck with the gym while it was going through coaching shortages and lack of direction for the girls groups, we have been rewarded by getting extra hours for free during holidays as a way of thank you. We are hopefully now seeing an end to this with a re shuffle so perhaps the loyal ones will get rewarded as things fall into place.

 

[OzZee]

Gym 2 sounds great in an ideal world, gym 1 would create less drama, it is all well and good being frienday with the coach, no problem with having a friendly chat with your child's coach but in my opinion it shouldn't go to far, no being Facebook friends

Rather a difference between friendly coaches (ie ones that say hi to the gymnasts and sometimes even the parents as they pass them) to being friendly with coaches and Facebook friends.

Funnily enough I've found more drama with gym 1 - lack of communication breeds gossip and discontent.

 

[Aussie_coach]

I find the best policy as a gym is to just run a great program and give your all to the kids. There will be times when one decides that the pastures might be greener elsewhere. If that happens support the in the desicion, let them know that you understand sometimes you need to explore further but the door is always open for them if they decide it's not the right fit. And off they go.

More often than not they are back in less than a month, and when they do return because they have checked out other pastures they then become some of your most loyal families.

Telling families that it is disloyal to leave doesn't inspire loyalty. Just run a great program and care about each of your gymnasts and it won't be an issue.

 

[Fijiwater]

At this point I can't even imagine pulling DD from her gym. I imagine it would be tough for her and the coaches, not even sure she would go to another gym unless Jordyn Weiber was the coach even then she would just want to do a private lesson and go back. lol Just feels like family at our gym.