WAG The place of loyalty in gymnastics?

[momnipotent]

Such an interesting question with such a complicated dynamic. Here's my take on it-loyalty is earned, it should not ever be considered as a given and it should work both ways-if a gym wants us to be loyal to them, they should be loyal to the kids by treating them appropriately and understanding that parents know their kids best and might occasionally need 5 minutes of time to discuss something going on with their child. Great coaches who are good role models and really care about the kids, regardless of how many hours a week we spend with them inspires/earns loyalty. A program with an owner who charges reasonable and competitive rates while showing they care about the kids and the families and not just the money inspires/earns loyalty. On the flip side, a family who pays their tuition regularly and on time and has reasonable conversations about their child and their progress (seeking to understand and to be understood) should be able to reasonably expect some loyalty from the gym in regards to coaching and financial practices.
In a program like that, where you trust that all the people involved are working towards your child's best interests, there should be loyalty and I can see where families leaving because of a perceived slight over move-ups or a new gym opening would be upsetting to the gym involved, but if people leave and the coaches /owner then treat them badly and encourage the rest of the team to do so as well have shown that they never truly cared about those kids and didn't deserve the loyalty in the first place. A coach who feels it is OK to come out on the mat and belittle the kids does not deserve loyalty, and no matter how good the rest of the coaches are, if something wasn't done about that one coach, the gym would lose our loyalty, because not only does that show that the gym doesn't put the kids first, as others have mentioned, my loyalty is to my child first and foremost. So yes, loyalty from families to the gym is important, but so is the responsibility of the gym to the children. If something changes in the way the gym treats the families/children, then it makes sense that the loyalties of the families involved might change as well.

 

[lovemygymnast]

I find the best policy as a gym is to just run a great program and give your all to the kids. There will be times when one decides that the pastures might be greener elsewhere. If that happens support the in the desicion, let them know that you understand sometimes you need to explore further but the door is always open for them if they decide it's not the right fit. And off they go.

More often than not they are back in less than a month, and when they do return because they have checked out other pastures they then become some of your most loyal families.

Telling families that it is disloyal to leave doesn't inspire loyalty. Just run a great program and care about each of your gymnasts and it won't be an issue.

I love this!!!! And I wonder why all gyms don't see it like this? I would love to take my dd some where to try but I know our owner will find out and we will be told to leave. So, now we're stuck in an unhappy situation (with the owner but LOVE the majority of our coaches). We keep having to remind ourselves that our gymmie is happy and that's makes us happier. We do know the grass isn't always greener so we aren't naive.

Aussiecoach, you truly have the right idea!!

 

[suebee]

Every year before parent-teacher conferences at my elementary school in the fall, the principal reminds the parents that there is always an inherent conflict of interest, in that each parent has his/her own child's best interest as the primary concern, but that the teacher has the class as a whole's best interest as the primary concern, and those 2 almost always conflict, because what's best for the class as a whole is highly unlikely to be what is best for your particular child.

To me, gym is a lot the same way. Owners and coaches run team in a way that they feel best benefits the team as a whole. They don't usually change things around for everyone on team because it is best for any one gymnast, just as teachers don't change the whole class because one kid is particularly gifted or particularly behind.

But what I think inspires loyalty in this type of group situation is when there is some particular attention and effort to meet an individual's needs within the team program. Seeing each person as an individual within the group and attempting to meet each individual's needs as best as possible within the team program is what I believe inspires loyalty. I generally believe that loyalty comes from the feeling of someone going above and beyond for you. If you're treated as a number and one of many, there is probably little loyalty inspired.

 

[gymdog]

I love this!!!! And I wonder why all gyms don't see it like this? I would love to take my dd some where to try but I know our owner will find out and we will be told to leave. So, now we're stuck in an unhappy situation (with the owner but LOVE the majority of our coaches). We keep having to remind ourselves that our gymmie is happy and that's makes us happier. We do know the grass isn't always greener so we aren't naive.

Aussiecoach, you truly have the right idea!!

If you'd love to take your daughter somewhere, why does it matter if the owner asks you to leave?

 

[Aussie_coach]

I love this!!!! And I wonder why all gyms don't see it like this? I would love to take my dd some where to try but I know our owner will find out and we will be told to leave. So, now we're stuck in an unhappy situation (with the owner but LOVE the majority of our coaches). We keep having to remind ourselves that our gymmie is happy and that's makes us happier. We do know the grass isn't always greener so we aren't naive.

Aussiecoach, you truly have the right idea!!

I tend to think owners are our should only be afraid of their gymnasts trying at other gyms if they feel their program is not as good as it could be. It's all about having confidence in what you do and what you offer and if there are problems in your gym fix them don't ignore them.

 

[lovemygymnast]

If you'd love to take your daughter somewhere, why does it matter if the owner asks you to leave?

Because IF we leave, it would mean we would burn a bridge with them. We love the coaches, gymnasts & families. Our only real issue is the owner at times. She's never really said much positive about my dd, yet every coach that's worked with her has spoken highly of my dd. Even though they really aren't supposed to be talking to us parents. And to be honest, just trying another gym, doesn't mean it would be a good fit. What if we got there and she wasn't happy or we experienced similar problems with the owners? That would be awful. Just a trial at another gym shouldn't mean you have to leave. I want to do the very best for my dd and her longevity in the sport. It may mean we have to leave or it may mean that we'll have to suck it up and deal with with someone we just don't think has our DD's best interest in mind.

 

[lovemygymnast]

I tend to think owners are our should only be afraid of their gymnasts trying at other gyms if they feel their program is not as good as it could be. It's all about having confidence in what you do and what you offer and if there are problems in your gym fix them don't ignore them.

Exactly!! I truly don't think she has confidence in her coaches (who are awesome, except one) or her gymnasts! There's constant change there and I mean coaching turnover. Sometimes change is good but sometimes not. We've been lucky one coach has stuck it out and that's the one my dd responds to the best. If she left right now, we would definitely leave. She's what kept us there after last season.

And I'd like to add, the gym owner is a nice person outside of gym. I like her but when it comes to the gym, she changes. Last year, she morphed into a really ugly person and that was shocking to me. So, now I don't trust her. If it's up to the coaches, my dd is fine to stay but I believe, the owner decides everything without much input from them anymore.