Women This Might Be the End of Gymnastics for Me

[_gym_wolf_]

So, last season, I moved gyms due to abusive coaching from one particular coach. I was in Level 5, and when I moved to my new gym, they decided to put me in Level 6. I competed an okay season, I was off on injury for a month not long after I got there, and was very sick during State meet. I placed 3rd all around at State. I had been thinking about returning to my old gym sometime in January 2019. So after the season was over, I wrote a letter to my old coach asking if we could discuss my return. At the time, I had been talking to a Sports Counselor for over a year. My old coach had spoken with her. I mentioned her in my letter, and on the second page included her contact information. For some reason, my old gym thought that the Sports Counselor was my current coach (because I didn't directly mention her job) and told my current gym instead of contacting her. My current head coach is very overdramatic, and when she found out, she said I am not allowed to come back to that gym. Hours later, we get an email from my old gym and he says that he doesn't think it best for me to come back, "the grass isn't always greener at another gym", and the way we left he got the "distinct feeling" that we didn't "believe" in their staff and methods (in the letter, I mentioned an incident when the abusive coach pushed on me in a stretch and tore my hip muscle in multiple spots and then told me I wasn't injured). My mom and the Sports Counselor wrote an email to my old coach in hopes of convincing him to let me return. My mom said she doesn't want to drive me around to other gyms, and the only one she would drive me to has extremely abusive coaching so I cannot go there. If we can't convince my old coach to let me go back, I have to quit gymnastics. I don't want to do that. Gymnastics is my passion. My life. All my friends came from gymnastics. It has only been 12 hours since I found out and I already feel empty. I don't know what to do.

 

[MILgymFAM]

May I ask why you wanted to go back to your old, abusive gym rather than stay at your newer gym? Instead of begging the old gym to reconsider, I would be apologizing to the new gym for going behind their back and try to mend that relationship.

 

[Jard.the.gymnast]

May I ask why you wanted to go back to your old, abusive gym rather than stay at your newer gym? Instead of begging the old gym to reconsider, I would be apologizing to the new gym for going behind their back and try to mend that relationship.

This. Abusiveness is never OK. Even if the abusive coach is gone, the athmosphere that let him work there probably isnt.

 

[_gym_wolf_]

The abusive coach retired. The coach at my most recent gym that got mad is the kind of person that will not let me come back. She is slightly self-centered and has a bit of an ego.

 

[MILgymFAM]

The abusive coach retired. The coach at my most recent gym that got mad is the kind of person that will not let me come back. She is slightly self-centered and has a bit of an ego.

I’m saying this with pure kindness. Both your gym options seem.. not ideal. If these are your only two choices then maybe walking away isn’t such an awful idea. The first gym allowed an abusive coach to remain in a position of power and is now blackballing you anyway- that is not a place you want to be. You don’t want to be at the new gym either, it seems- and you’re blocked there too. Retirement or a switch to a similar sport might be a fresh start for you.

 

[duyetanh]

I’m saying this with pure kindness. Both your gym options seem.. not ideal. If these are your only two choices then maybe walking away isn’t such an awful idea. The first gym allowed an abusive coach to remain in a position of power and is now blackballing you anyway- that is not a place you want to be. You don’t want to be at the new gym either, it seems- and you’re blocked there too. Retirement or a switch to a similar sport might be a fresh start for you.

This. Or convince your mom to drive you elsewhere....and hope the old coach hasn’t blackballed you from there also.

 

[duyetanh]

And how old are you? Couldn’t you drive yourself?

 

[coachmolly]

I’m saying this with pure kindness. Both your gym options seem.. not ideal. If these are your only two choices then maybe walking away isn’t such an awful idea. The first gym allowed an abusive coach to remain in a position of power and is now blackballing you anyway- that is not a place you want to be. You don’t want to be at the new gym either, it seems- and you’re blocked there too. Retirement or a switch to a similar sport might be a fresh start for you.

I couldn't agree with this more. Gymnastics is a great sport and can be completely addictive. But there is so much more out there in the world, and so much more to life, than gymnastics. If staying in the sport involves risk to your physical, mental, or emotional well being, it's just not worth it. It stinks that this is what it comes down to, but are these really places you want to be? If a third gym isn't an option, check out trampoline & tumbling programs, cheer, dance, Cross Fit, or whatever other activity might interest you. I know it's probably hard to imagine a life without gymnastics from where you are now, but there is so much more and no activity is worth putting your psychological wellbeing at risk.

 

[GymDadWA]

Are you in high school yet? Maybe instead of JO you would want to consider competing for your high school team (if they do gymnastics).

 

[duyetanh]

Her profile says she is 18

 

[_gym_wolf_]

Yeah, I guess it doesn't matter since you can really do gymnastics after 18. Thanks though!

 

[MILgymFAM]

Yeah, I guess it doesn't matter since you can really do gymnastics after 18. Thanks though!

Well, of course you can. But if you don’t drive you’re still beholden to your parents or public transportation (if available).

 

[3rd_time_around]

Yeah, I guess it doesn't matter since you can really do gymnastics after 18. Thanks though!

You can compete in AAU forever, there’s no age limit.

 

[MILgymFAM]

You can compete in AAU forever, there’s no age limit.

There isn’t an age limit in xcel or jo either.