Totally unsupportive spouse

[aerialriver]

I do speak with my old therpist out of state by phone last time she basically hung up on me cause she doesn't get that I can't just up and leave. I can't afford $125 an hour for a thearpist here. I am out of luck. I have no family or friends.

 

[mndl]

If I were you I would talk to someone at a women's shelter and can see if they can offer you some sort counseling or support options. It sounds like you are in a miserable situation and need help. I really wish you the best, it is probably not my place to say, but I leave him if it were me. It may be emotional abuse now, but I fear that can all to easily change.

 

[gymdog]

I do speak with my old therpist out of state by phone last time she basically hung up on me cause she doesn't get that I can't just up and leave. I can't afford $125 an hour for a thearpist here. I am out of luck. I have no family or friends.

Look into Catholic Charities where you live. You don't have to be Catholic. They do a lot of relationship counseling and have a sliding scale for payment.

 

[CoachGoofy]

Look into women's shelters, and any other charities in your area. I know where I used to live the YWCA had resources.

If you need help finding stuff, message me your location & I can see what I can find (if you're comfortable with that). You shouldn't have to put up with all of that.

 

[cher062]

There are alot of free or almost free counciling services out there for women in your situation. Many have been listed here. Catholic Charities is good and they are in most communities. Salvation Army will help you locate a service. The Health and Welfare office or any social services office can give you a list of people and will help you to.

 

[cher062]

It is way far beyond just gym. I talked to him today he hates gym because I won't just not go to practice to do things that could be done earlier in the day with him. I am sorry I am a planner I figure if you want to go on a nature hike we could go at 10 a.m. and I could still go to afternoon practice. But he told me he is not and he basically wants me to stay home all day just incase he wants to do something which is next to never anyways. I am not willing to do that.

He has becoming increasingly controlling over every aspect of my life and now is trying to force me into taking a job where he works, probably to keep an eye on me. He also told me if I blow the interview for this job he will find out. I have another interview at a seperate place and hope that pans out. Money for gym is no issues as I work it off but other that that I am unemployed because he told me I need to make X amount of money or I should not take the job. He made me quit coaching because they didn't pay enough even though I thought $8 an hour was better than $0 an hour!

He has over taken my life. I am completely depressed and have no friends or family that can help. At this point gymnastics is all I have to keep me sane. When I think of my life without it with him no having other options I think of bad alternatives. I am sorry to ramble feel free to remove if my post if it is not okay. I am just so lost.

P.S. I did take the controlling relationship quiz that someone posted and the score was off the charts. I am so scared and alone and don't know what to do. He isn't physical so no one can help me.

I don't know everything just what you post here and honestly all I see is red flags. Its time to pack your bags and leave this abusive situation. No spouse should want that type of relationship where you jump and they say how high.

 

[Muddlethru]

Emotional abuse can easily be discounted because technically they haven't "hit" you; however this kind of abuse steals your self respect, your confidence in yourself and does damage to your soul. The abuser takes little responsibility for their part in the abuse and most often finds ways to blame the problem on the other person in the relationship.

I think you do care for this individual. But there are some things to understand here. Love does not abuse...love accepts responsibility, love builds up and sets free...love is not rude or intimidating. You have one life. You only have one shot and you have to think how you want to spend it. You seem like a smart woman. I am sure you already know what you should do but are afraid. National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233 (SAFE). Try this number. Maybe they can help you. They might be able to direct you to a support group, free counseling, etc. Maybe you can still save your marriage. But whatever you decide, something has to change. Take care.