Parents Update on switching gyms

[Deleted member 14190]

Yea you should just leave, I mean who cares what your daughter wants...... sigh.... Frankly, the first thing I ask a child who comes over, (without the parent present) "is this your decision". If I sense the child isn't on board I send them packing. We need kids who are excited to come to our program, not parents.....

 

[Kiwi]

Yea you should just leave, I mean who cares what your daughter wants...... sigh.... Frankly, the first thing I ask a child who comes over, (without the parent present) "is this your decision". If I sense the child isn't on board I send them packing. We need kids who are excited to come to our program, not parents.....

We are talking about an 8 year old here. At that age, most kids would choose to stick with what they are familiar with, because change can be scary. I understand that the gymnast needs to be 'on board', but she apparently did like the new gym. I'm surprised you would ask kids this as 'the first thing' without giving them some time to adjust and settle in to a new program. For an older gymnast, say in their teens, I would kind of agree about them needing to be involved in the decision as well as the parents, but at 8 years old most kids are not making all their important life decisions by themselves, that's what kids have parents for.

 

[HappyMom]

We are talking about an 8 year old here. At that age, most kids would choose to stick with what they are familiar with, because change can be scary. I understand that the gymnast needs to be 'on board', but she apparently did like the new gym. I'm surprised you would ask kids this as 'the first thing' without giving them some time to adjust and settle in to a new program. For an older gymnast, say in their teens, I would kind of agree about them needing to be involved in the decision as well as the parents, but at 8 years old most kids are not making all their important life decisions by themselves, that's what kids have parents for.

Yes! What Kiwi said!

I am a mom to a 6 year old. Yes, I ask her opinion on things, but major decisions? That is the responsibility of an adult/her parents. 6 (or 8 year olds, in this case) aren't capable of looking at the big picture, thinking long term, and everything else that goes on with making a gym change.


To the OP - if the gym seems like a better fit and your DD was happy there (at practice and stuff), then that's fantastic! I can't wait to hear more as she fits in and learns and starts to fly.

(and I'm not sure if I'd stay for 2 weeks or just leave entirely. $90 is a lot of money in todays economy, but what's going to be better for your DD? Ripping the bandaid off quickly and never looking back? Or time to adjust? I know that each approach works great for different children. Personally, I'd just want to rip the bandaid off and move on. But you know your DD and what would work for her. )

 

[mimi]

We switched gyms last year. Even if you leave on good terms (which we did), it can be awkward at best for everyone involved if you linger around. Plus if your dd is waffling about the change a little it could make it even worse. If your decision is made, politely tell your old gym that you are leaving and why and move on. If you know it is the right decision for your dd, it will be fine and she will adjust and thrive. Good luck! I know switching gyms isn't easy but it seems like most people who switch end up being very happy that they did it.

 

[IreneKa]

In our case the decision was not so much about switching the gyms as about switching the programs. And that was entirely up to her. I carefully explained the difference between xcel and JO programs, and let her choose what she wanted. I wasn't forcing her, if anything, I was trying to scare her off, saying that she'd have to practice long hours, wouldn't have time to watch TV, or play with her friends, etc. She said she wanted it. So, now when she says she wants to stay in her old gym, I remind her that she would have to stay in Xcel then, and that's not what she wanted.
And she did look like she was having fun there. Watching her, you couldn't even tell she was new, chatting away with all the girls around her while waiting in line. I'm sure she'll be fine there after a while.

 

[bogwoppit]

Yea you should just leave, I mean who cares what your daughter wants...... sigh.... Frankly, the first thing I ask a child who comes over, (without the parent present) "is this your decision". If I sense the child isn't on board I send them packing. We need kids who are excited to come to our program, not parents.....

Please remember this the parents forum and the OP came here for advice from other parents, and not coaches or gymnasts. Feel free to mirror the topic in the coaches forum if you would like a coach based discussion on the issue.

 

[IreneKa]

Funny story. The first time I posted here, I was telling about DD's friend who was in the same rec class, but then she was invited to preteam, while DD was invited to prep-op team. I was talking to that girl's mom today, and they actually don't want to do JO, they don't want to do so many hours, and they want to do other things too, etc., so they wanted to switch to prep-op. They won't let her! They said they know better where their daughter should be. Creazy, isn't it?! LOL. This gym is very strange. I can understand that my DD doesn't fit their very high standarts for JO, but not let a girl switch to xcel, that's beyond my understanding!

 

[Quadqueen]

Funny story. The first time I posted here, I was telling about DD's friend who was in the same rec class, but then she was invited to preteam, while DD was invited to prep-op team. I was talking to that girl's mom today, and they actually don't want to do JO, they don't want to do so many hours, and they want to do other things too, etc., so they wanted to switch to prep-op. They won't let her! They said they know better where their daughter should be. Creazy, isn't it?! LOL. This gym is very strange. I can understand that my DD doesn't fit their very high standarts for JO, but not let a girl switch to xcel, that's beyond my understanding!

What?!! What was their explanation for why they would not allow her to switch to XCel? Our XCel team regularly gets girls who decide they no longer want to do the higher JO hours or are struggling with the skills.

 

[IreneKa]

What?!! What was their explanation for why they would not allow her to switch to XCel? Our XCel team regularly gets girls who decide they no longer want to do the higher JO hours or are struggling with the skills.

First they said there was no space on xcel team, then she threatened to switch to another gym. He replied with a long email saying that all gyms are different, and how their gym is the best, and that their daughter is exacly where she should be!

 

[MeetDirector]

Isn't it funny how after you have made a decision to switch you start hearing and seeing other bad things? Kind of validates your decision, huh? Soon you will be able to think of them in the past.

Good Luck.

 

[Kiwi]

First they said there was no space on xcel team, then she threatened to switch to another gym. He replied with a long email saying that all gyms are different, and how their gym is the best, and that their daughter is exacly where she should be!

He sounds quite arrogant to me. You can't force a kid to do JO!

It definitely sounds like the new gym is worth a try to give your DD that chance at JO. If for some reason JO doesn't work out she can always go back to xcel later. It sounds like she will fit in and make friends easily at the new gym.

 

[gym law mom]

I hope you switch to the new gym sooner than June. Your dd needs a program that will be supportive and encouraging. Tell her you will contact her friends from the old gym and have play dates from time to time.

 

[Jenny]

Yea you should just leave, I mean who cares what your daughter wants...... sigh.... Frankly, the first thing I ask a child who comes over, (without the parent present) "is this your decision". If I sense the child isn't on board I send them packing. We need kids who are excited to come to our program, not parents.....

There are many reasons to switch gym which the child will not even know about. There could have been dangerous coaching, abusive coaching, inappropriate liaisons, financial irregularity. Just to name a few off the top of my head. All of these the parent could know about and not share with the child. It is sometimes a fine line as a parent between what your child 'wants' and what is good for them.

 

[bookworm]

Yea you should just leave, I mean who cares what your daughter wants...... sigh.... Frankly, the first thing I ask a child who comes over, (without the parent present) "is this your decision". If I sense the child isn't on board I send them packing. We need kids who are excited to come to our program, not parents.....

We are talking about an 8 year old here. At that age, most kids would choose to stick with what they are familiar with, because change can be scary. I understand that the gymnast needs to be 'on board', but she apparently did like the new gym. I'm surprised you would ask kids this as 'the first thing' without giving them some time to adjust and settle in to a new program. For an older gymnast, say in their teens, I would kind of agree about them needing to be involved in the decision as well as the parents, but at 8 years old most kids are not making all their important life decisions by themselves, that's what kids have parents for.

I'm sorry (actually I'm not..) but this IS a parents' decision...and for many of the reasons Jenny cited, parents will make a gym switch, and the kid might not be excited about the change, but it generally works out in the long run for the better..


And to the OP, if you sense there will be any bad behavior by the coaches in your current gym towards your daughter if they find out you are leaving, then i would cut the tie immediately and move on to the new gym...and notify the old gym , by email, of the change so your daughter won't be subject to any nastiness by them...

And even if you don't think the old gym will behave poorly, you know you are leaving for a program they refuse to offer your child ( her needs have outgrown what the gym is willing to offer her) , I would still do it today ...no need to spend anymore time in a program that's not working for her...

 

[GymBee97]

When old gym finds out you are switching they may not give 100% of the same attention to your DD. If you are going to do the switch then I wouldn't wait let DD start at the new one and get use to that instead of one foot at each gym. There really isn't a reason to stay at the old gym and in the long run it will be better for your DD. We were one that changed gyms too and like you was not sure how long to stay etc. But it ended up being the best thing we could have done for her and she is just so much happier now. Yes at first she was the "new kid" but she made friends and is now thriving. So go for it and don't drag it out.

 

[gymdog]

Honestly based on the nature of this switch (from Excel to level system) I would just forget about the $90 and switch now. She WILL be behind in another month of missing those practices at this point in the training cycle for level 3. That would be my main consideration. I would just explain that to her and if she really wants to do it, it's best to try now or she would fall behind on the drills the other girls will be learning. And explain she can try it for a month and if she doesn't like it, she doesn't have to stay. If she still refuses, then I wouldn't make the switch under these circumstances personally.

 

[OwlGalLiz]

We recently went through this, but were required to give a months notice as DS is just developmental/pre-team (boys team was waived because it was still season, enabling them to compete at the new gym). Check your contract if your gym has one. We went ahead and started at the new gym, gave notice at the old one and are finishing out the month. His coach had been moved to HC anyway, so he has a new one for the last few practices. It's working fine. Good luck.

 

[flippin out]

Months notice usually refers to payment (not presence required). Your dd is 8. You asked her opinion, she expressed desire to change, she loved the new gym and kids/coaches. Do NOT take her back to spend weeks at old gym and make her feel conflicted about the decision. Keeping her at both will only prolong any conflicting emotions she has (and she will feel bad about leaving the only gym she's ever known, and the girls there) about moving on. You will do her no favors in prolonging the agony, AND she will be missing valuable time needed to train at new gym for a different program. What she would be training at old gym (Xcel) versus needing to concentrate on what she will be training at new gym (Level 3) and HOW they train will be different.

I see NO benefit to having her stay at old gym for the next several weeks. As someone else said, rip the band-aid off and move on. Besides, I doubt owner of Old gym would want her to stay. Most gyms would prefer that if you are leaving (not moving away, or quitting for school sports) for a new gym in the area.....that you leave STAT! They would fear that if she talks, more will follow her (not that she'd try to recruit, but that's how switches work).

 

[IreneKa]

Thanks, everyone. Looks like it's unanimous, that we should switch now.
Well, DD has gotten a bad ear infection, so we probably won't go to either gym tomorrow. But we are going to the new gym as planned on Thursday, and I'm going to tell them that we'll be starting full time next week.

 

[MeetDirector]

Good Luck and this was the right decision. Look only forward and not back!