WAG Urgh! I wish...

[mOm2gymnast<3]

I wish I was in my daughters shoes so she doesn't have to be hurt when things like this happen.

After practice last night, I pick up my dd and she seemed sad. I ask her if everything was okay. She burst in tears and told me that her gym BFF told her that they were not friends anymore. I asked her why? She said that this girl got mad at my dd because my dd wouldn't do what she wants her to do. She also told me that these last couple days, this girl would keep in jumping on her shoulders and my dd would tell her to stop and would get mad
At my dd. what makes me mad is when my dd told
Me that this girl told her that she is better that her! This girl is older than my dd. last night, my dd woke up twice having nightmares about this. Before school this morning, she told me that she wanted me to stay at practice today because this girl will be there for her being only 6 it's really hard to explain things to her. I told her maybe this girl has other things going on at home, to don't worry about it, etc...
But I feel so bad...

 

[htimcj]

So hard to deal with when our kids are dealing with meaness.

 

[Dr Maleficent]

If it's any comfort, my 6 year old daughter is constantly 'not friends' with her best friend, who has apparently done mean things to her, or asked her to play a game that my dd doesn't want to play. A few days later, when she asks to invite this friend over, I ask "I thought you weren't friends?" and she says "oh, that was yesterday!" These things often blow over really fast at that age. Hugs to her and hope all is well soon.

 

[mOm2gymnast<3]

This girl is 8! I would think she would know better.

 

[rbearclaw]

I swear I could have written this exact same story from last night, about my 6 year old daughter and her BFF picking on her. Seriously, to the T. I had to read some of your past posts to see if you were the other girls mom!!! I don't think you are. But anyway, like GymMuminFrance said, my DD is constantly not friends, friends, not friends, friends with her BFF. Actually, I think they are more like sisters. The other mom and I make sure to get the two in front of each other when they're sad or pouting, and call each other out on the BS, and make them apologize and hug it out. Instantly they are back to being friends. These girls spend SOOOO much time together in the gym, it doesn't surprise me that they bicker. I just tell my DD all the time, be KIND. Look out for her like a friend should. Hopefully the other girl is learning the same thing. It doesn't make your DD feel any better in the moment, and nightmares about it are no fun. I'm praying for her and her heart. Life lessons I tell ya.

 

[cbifoja]

It's the weapon of choice for little pre-tween girls: the withholding of friendship. Another is the temporary gift....friend gives someone a gift, only to take it back when a weapon is needed.

 

[Iwannabemargo]

Children by nature are completely egocentric, at a young age they are incapable of empathy. As they grow and mature they become more empathetic but it takes training. If they don't get much training it takes even longer. Unfortunately she will come across people who don't take her feelings into account and as a mum the best thing you can do is help her to deal with the behavior and not take it to heart.

 

[rbearclaw]

It's the weapon of choice for little pre-tween girls: the withholding of friendship. Another is the temporary gift....friend gives someone a gift, only to take it back when a weapon is needed.

Soooo true. I'm finding this in school the gym, etc. It breaks my heart!!!

 

[txgymfan]

Kids learn to use words as weapons early. The ultimate 4 year old insult is "your not coming to my birthday party". I heard that so many times from one little boy that I told him I would tell his mom that he didn't want a party because he had told every single one of his class mates to the "party" which was months away. He finally calmed down.

 

[mOm2gymnast<3]

So., after practice last night, my dd told me that she apologized to this girl even if she knew she didn't do anything to her. She apologized so they can be friends again she said. Coz she knows this girl will never apologize she took the first move to day sorry so they can talk again.

I guess my dd is a bigger and better person than I am because if I was her, I would never say anything to this girl again. I can make other friends besides her. But that's just me.

On the other hand, I am so proud of my dd for stepping up in this situation. Gotta love her to pieces <3

 

[luvmygymdtr]

Children by nature are completely egocentric, at a young age they are incapable of empathy. As they grow and mature they become more empathetic but it takes training. If they don't get much training it takes even longer. Unfortunately she will come across people who don't take her feelings into account and as a mum the best thing you can do is help her to deal with the behavior and not take it to heart.

I can't agree that young children are incapable of empathy. My youngest daughter showed signs of empathy at an incredibly young age-well before her first birthday. And rarely puts herself before others. I know for her it's innate. -often, i feel this is a curse, not a blessing. Therefore, I couldn't agree with you more that parents need to do more to help train their children with empathy because there are many times I feel my daughter gets the short end of the stick. We have many many conversations about allowing friends from taking advantage of her.

 

[dna3262]

I think for the most part they will work it out on their own. But if it begins to be a trend (especially the I'm better than you) I would talk to the other mother. Unless you think it would be too heated a conversation. If so, maybe address it with the coach. You don't want your daughter to hate going to class. My daughter is going through similar things at school (she is 6 also) and it has really caused her stress. To the point she hates going to school.