Parents Very sad girl...any advice?

[lilmonkeymom]

When I picked my daughter up from practice Monday night she was very quiet...very unlike her. When we got in the car I asked her how practice was and she burst into tears. Her favorite coach is leaving the gym next week. She just finished college and found a teaching job a few hours away. My daughter has been doing private lessons with this coach for over a year and has become very close with her. She is so upset about her coach leaving and isn't sure she wants to continue. She loves gymnastics and I don't think she really wants to give it up...I think she is just so sad right now. Should I let her make that decision to quit or make her keep going and hope she gets over it? She is only 9 yrs old almost 10.

 

[cathiann]

Oh I wouldn't let her quit right now-she needs to see if she can enjoy gymnastics just as much without this coach. My oldest DD had a coach quit when she was a level 4 and she wanted to quit too--said it wouldn't be the same, but I made her stick with it for at least six month--if she still wanted to quit then, I would let her. But by that point, she was happy and wanted to continue. It's tough losing a coach you love! Will you still want to continue private lessons there? Maybe talk to the coach and ask who she recommends that has a similar coaching style.

 

[cher062]

When I picked my daughter up from practice Monday night she was very quiet...very unlike her. When we got in the car I asked her how practice was and she burst into tears. Her favorite coach is leaving the gym next week. She just finished college and found a teaching job a few hours away. My daughter has been doing private lessons with this coach for over a year and has become very close with her. She is so upset about her coach leaving and isn't sure she wants to continue. She loves gymnastics and I don't think she really wants to give it up...I think she is just so sad right now. Should I let her make that decision to quit or make her keep going and hope she gets over it? She is only 9 yrs old almost 10.

It's always hard when a coach who is loved leaves. The girls do get over it eventually and move on but like any sad thing it takes some time.

If you know your DD really doesn't want to give up gym but is just sad over this change then I wouldn't let her quit. I would talk to the coach who is leaving and let her know how your DD feels. I would ask her to give DD a pep talk - you know Like she'll be keeping an eye on her even though she won't be her coach and she hope to see great things out of her. Once DD sees that the coach will still care about her doing gymnastics it won't be so dramatic for her and I'm sure she will continue.

 

[MdGymMom01]

Ohh that is so sad and I feel for your dd! (((hugs))). Let her know that things like this happen and people and coaches will move in and out of her life. It is just an unfortunate fact of life and it is things like this that make us stronger. Let her know that while she will miss her coach dearly, she will also have the opportunity to meet new coaches and build friendships and bonds with them as well. Quitting is NOT the answer, especially since she is just 9 years old!!! I know that in her 9 year old world she is devestated, but this is just one bump along the road that she has to endure and get over. Maybe you and her can make a special scrapbook together to help her remember her special coach but also to wish her luck in her new endeavors. I hope this helped!!!

 

[gym monkeys mom]

My DD just had her second coach leave in her gymnastics life on team. It is always hard on the kids but they are resilant and bounce back.

It is tempting to let her quit to spare her the pain she will ave from her fav coach leaving however the growth she gain emotionaly is worth it.

The girls on team were sad when their most recent coach left however theone they hired to replace her is just as wonderful and brings with her a whole new style and bags of tricks. The girls have respnded well to her and have improved a lot. She sees things the other coach tool for granted and fies them.

It will be hard but she can do it and after awhile (like 6 months) if she still wants to quit let her. People walk in and out of our kids lives and it helps them grow by dealing with it.

Hugs and best wishes to DD

 

[Linsul]

Posting to agree with everyone here. It can be sad, but give her the chance to get through it! One thing you can ask the coach is if she a facebook or something to keep in touch with. I made one for work to keep in touch with the gym I left in California. It's different than my family/friends one, Lord knows the girls do NOT need to be exposed to the things my 4 brothers say lol!

 

[gym law mom]

It will be tough on her for a little while, but I think she'll do fine in the long run. Lots of good ideas already mentioned. I would talk with the coach and get an email address, facebook site---some way dd can keep in touch. You might also take dd out to pick out a small gift from her to give to the coach when she leaves. A picture of them together in a frame would be something nice.

Absolutely let the coach know that your dd is quite upset about her leaving and see if she can find some quiet time to sit and talk with dd about continuing with her gymnastics. Maybe she can help dd "transition" to another coach in the gym. Since you said she'll be a couple of hours away, she might even be able to come and watch a meet your gym is in this season.

I think your dd used the "q" word because she was just so upset. Yes, there will be some sad times ahead, but also you can try and turn this into some fun in letting the old coach know about a new skill or how dd did at a meet.

 

[JessMom]

I agree with everyone. Don't let her quit.

We had the same thing this yr, 2 in one yr!, and my daughter is ony 7.

Can you see if there is a way you can keep in touch? maybe emial address?

My daughter felt better when she realised her coaches would be following her - still celebrating new skills - watching videos etc.

We took each one out for lunch to say goodbye . . .

hope that helps

 

[NotAMom]

At this age, it's likely just a case of separation anxiety. Is that her normal behavior when she parts with someone she loves or when she departs from some place she becomes comfortable with? Just others have said, this is something for sure time will heal. She is probably just not used to this sort of situations yet. And, in a long run, it'll be good for her growing up. While we want our children to be compassionate, it's just not all that healthy and practical to become emotional over everything. (coming from a guy who is ultra emotional)

 

[lilmonkeymom]

Thank you all for the great advice. My daughter and the coach talked tonight and they will stay in touch. She is an amazing young woman who had taught my little one so much. She made her a little book with all the "secrets" that she shares with her (like which muscles to hold for differant skills, ect..) We will miss her dearly but my daughter has decided that she loves gymnastics too much to quit. The good thing is she knows all the other coaches well and will be able to do her private lessons with her 2nd favorite coach. Thanks again!!