Wanna scream !!

[Ex member]

I can't understand why they are treating your dd like this, is it worth setting up a meeting with the head coach? Have you got a women's rep that can help you ( if you want to stay at this gym?), maybe the rep can support you and your dd through this (if that what you both want).

In dd's group I have just found out that the coach had a girl sit out of vault because she wouldn't do cartwheels on the beam - this girl was nearly 11 and has been in the group around 2 years. I can't imagine asking a 7 year old to leave the gym (or even working on the same apparatus for 2 1/2 hours) because they wouldn't grab the high beam. It is a big achievement to even tap the high beam and gradually working her way round her fear. I am disgusted with the coaches attitude about not wanting to take the time with your dd because she has new girls in September? What about your dd doesn't she matter, doesn't the coach have a duty of care to her? If you and your dd move on ( wouldn't blame you if you did) then how many girls will follow due to this coaches attitude? Can't see many girls left in a few months time of the get the same treatment.

Hope you and your dd are as ok as you can be.

 

[Iwannabemargo]

unfortunately there are some "big" clubs, who have their pick of girls. They have a mould, they look for certain attributes, both physical and emotional and anyone else is discounted. If you don't fit you are out ( or sidelined and fed a line to keep the pennies rolling in ).

Other clubs nurture every girl they have to the best of their ability, they fit to you, not the other way round

 

[Rapunzel]

Just skim read this but we've been there! And our other side was dd quitting. They got dds age wrong which resulted in her having to learn a LOT of new skills in 3 wks, she managed her straddle on jump to high bar but FHS vault and RO flic weren't so easy for her. When her coach said she'd phone me if she didn't do her RO flic "this time" well that was when dd switched off.
I wish I'd have posted on here about it and looked at other clubs.

 

[Jenny]

Go elsewhere. Find a kinder gym.

 

[Flossyduck]

I've just read through this thread and wow, that seems like an awful lot of pressure your 7 year old is under. And I can see that it's stressing you out, which she may well be picking up on too, even though I know that you are trying really hard to support her and do the right thing. I feel for both of you.

It strikes me that your dd is actually really trying. The fact that she is jumping and tapping the bar and willing to try and work on this skill each session shows that she is wanting to do it and wanting to please. It's not as though she sitting there refusing to go on the bars. For a seven year old I can see how she might wonder why she isn't being praised for trying her hardest - that's what we tell them they should do. When you try hard you please people right? Only it seems it's never good enough And the jump from trying to do it and being able to do it seems a big one.

Mixed messages from the coaches. They started with their highest punishment level - do it or your out. And it makes it all her problem, not a team effort. Ouch.

I would move if your dd is saying she wants to and is crying and feeling that much strain. Or at least go and look at some other clubs and see how they do things and whether you get a better feeling.

Choose very carefully. As others have said, the big successful clubs often have plenty of potential compulsory gymnasts to choose from and have very high expectations, so she might find she's moving from one high pressure group to another. I know in our club, next years compulsory level 5's are a pretty tough bunch and their coach takes no prisoners over going for skills. They are working a long way ahead of where they need to be too. The grades groups are much more gentle and there are some lovely gymnasts in those group. Attitude (ability to deal with the pressure) is a big factor in which girls are in which groups.

No harm in looking. It sounds as though you have a talented daughter, who is working hard and I'm sure she has plenty of other options where she would be valued and feel supported.

 

[marie83]

 

[Libby's gym mom]

So sad too, dd has bounced back today . Still talking about gym and adamant she's going to catch that dam bar !!
Going to ask coach , why is it she will not need this skill for another 12 months but your going to kick her out ??

 

[marie83]

It makes no sense to me. I just can't get my head around it!

 

[Faith]

Just skim read this but we've been there! And our other side was dd quitting. They got dds age wrong which resulted in her having to learn a LOT of new skills in 3 wks, she managed her straddle on jump to high bar but FHS vault and RO flic weren't so easy for her. When her coach said she'd phone me if she didn't do her RO flic "this time" well that was when dd switched off.
I wish I'd have posted on here about it and looked at other clubs.

You should have! You have quite a few options for clubs . Has she lost interest completely then? Is DD2 still there?

LGM- I do think if this is the clubs general ethos it may just be their way of weeding out kids they don't think are psychologically strong enough for compulsories. It's not uncommon. The speed and progress that most clubs require from elite track kids means as well as all the physical attributes and talent, they must do everything a coach asks, no question. They don't have time to be nursing children through blocks and fears, and this is from a very young age.

I don't happen to agree with it, but that seems to be the nature of compulsories, unless you have a very foresighted coach who can see past the now to what the child might become.

If I were you, like I said upthread, I'd worry that once the squat on drama is over, it'll be the BHS on beam, and then her beam series, and then her giants, then her release move. If this is their way of dealing with it, things will never change, there'll always be a bigger skill…

Sounds like she needs to find a coach that suits her way of working better, or who can go a bit easier until she matures a bit...

 

[Libby's gym mom]

She can already do those apart from Independant giants !! My dd is not phased by the really hard scary stuff which makes it more confusing . just hope this week goes fast so we can move on if we need to . The most heartbreaking will be losing our little gym family , we have made some lovely friends

 

[Iwannabemargo]

but from personal experience, you make a new family, and meet more nice people

 

[Libby's gym mom]

but from personal experience, you make a new family, and meet more nice people

It's just been part our life for 3 years now , gyms shut for a week and I already feel like my arms chopped off !! The first words out dds mouth this morning was yay gym tonight !! Had to tell her it's closed and she was so disappointed. X

 

[3 little monkeys]

Things change a lot once they start competing, a lot of the people you see now won't be there in a couple of years, a lot won't even be in gymnastics. Also things don't always stay so friendly between the parents (the kids seem fine though!!). I've made two really good friends through gym, none of us are at the same gym now and things gave changes an awful lot!

 

[Tally Ho]

I agree with most of the others, if this is your gyms way then that is the way it will always be. Maybe best to look around, gym switch is hard but it's worth thinking about.

 

[SignHere]

Speaking of gym switch... I found thinking of gym switch to be harder than actually doing it.

 

[stillgotmyleotard]

Absolutely as above. ^^^

 

[Iwannabemargo]

I would wager that the majority of people here have been through at least one gym change

 

[twinklytoes9468]

I can't help feeling that your DD has an issue with this skill mainly because her coach has made it an issue.
He/She could have quite easily let it go for a few weeks, but instead they pick pick picked away at it til her confidence was totally shot .This is not a sign that your DD is psychologically unsuited to competition,it is a normal human response.I remember the diver Tom Daley saying that after he had an accident on the high board it took him a year to get back to where he had been.Nobody suggest he hasn't got the psyche of a winner!

 

[Libby's gym mom]

Well my dd went back to gym this week after a weeks shut down and bingo !! She's back and more !! Never seen a child so confident again . No mats or support apparently she just got on with it !! She started dance classes in the break and they focus loads on confidence and I truly believe this has been very beneficial for her , so we decided to stick with it as she's enjoying that too xx

 

[1canadiangymmom]

That is great. Congrats.