WAG What do you guess- when is the point to quit for you/your child?

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S

sportymom

I have 3 children, 2 girls and 1 boy, all in gymnastics.

For DS, who is a Level4, it seems that the point to quit will come soon. He had fun as a toddler, but now he is 9 and all of his schoolmates play soccer etc and he is just not really excited to go to practice and doesn't want to learn new tricks, although he is one of the best at his team.
So I guess for him, it's just the missing "fun-factor".

My DD, who is 11 and a level 5 is also at the point to quit. She is scared of new skills, especially BHS on beam or bar dismounts. She is also not strong, not very flexible and just in general not the gymnast type. She would be better in rythmics or so and told she would like to start dancing. So for her, it is just the way she is that keeps her from progress.

And then, there is my oldest daughter, she is 13 and a L7. She is only training 12 hours a week. but usually goes to extra conditioning classes 3 times a week.
She was never super competetive and dreamned of olypmic gold or whatever, but she is just very very ambitious in everything she does if she wants to be good. She loves gymnastics and when they learn new skills, she is usually the one who picks it up as one of the fastest. Maybe she is talented, but I guess it's more because she just really wants to do it like she wants nothing else!

But now there is the thing that is my actual "question". My oldest DD is one of the best on her team, the most flexible and one if the strongest. She went from pre-team to L7 in 3 years.
She has giants and free hips to handstands, she can almost land her full on floor and of course, has a BHS on beam.

But last week after practice, when I asked her how practice was like I always do, she said "Fun, like always. But I guess Level7 is the last one I want to compete. Skills are so much harder now!" I was shocked, because I have never heard my DD saying something like that. The next practice I asked her coach.
She told me the following: First, I shouldn't worry about my DD. She is doing fine by now, just struggles with new skills a little, which is totally normal. Then she said, that for a lot of girls, Level7 is the point when they are done with the sport. She said in their gym, there are 2 "drop-out" points. A lot of kids never get through Level4. And then the other point is at L7. It is usually "easy" to get to this Level, if the gymnast is ambitious, motivated and loves the sport. Pretty much everyone who is working hard can get there. But once it comes to more difficult bar changes on UB, double twists or saltos, BHS stepout layouts on beam and tsuks or yuris on vault, most kids quit or just stay at this level.
She addes, that the average gymnast spend at least 2 years at Level 7 until she can move up. So a total different world after L7, far more difficult and higher injury rate.

What is your opinion?
 
The same thing about L7 has been said on this board several times. DD having been through it, I'd say yes, things get far more difficult after it.
 
My DD (11) is a bit like your L7 DD - she's now getting to the point where the skills are starting to get scary. My DD has said she doesn't want to go past L6 because she's happy to never do another giant or BHS on beam again! She likes floor tumbling, but beam scares her. Bars used to be her favourite event - now she hates it. Quitting time is approaching for us too, unless she somehow gets past her fears.
 
Then she said, that for a lot of girls, Level7 is the point when they are done with the sport. She said in their gym, there are 2 "drop-out" points. A lot of kids never get through Level4. And then the other point is at L7.

I've noticed this myself. This past year, DD barely stuck with it (it was a very frustrating year for her). She was L3 (which is old L4). Another mother mentioned to me that a lot of girls stop here.
So I did what what I could to see... I went through our team's scores online, and found that yes, there are historically a lot of girls that their last meet was L4. And then I also noticed a lot of girls who are/were L7 for a a couple of years, but then that was their last level also.
I'm proud that we (I love how I say "we", like I have anything to do with it! LOL) made it through this past year, but I do foresee my own daughter ending at L7. I am guessing (strictly a guess based on her 11 year old personality, and heaven knows that changes like the drop of a hat!) that if she stays through L7, she won't push past it.
 
Beam and vault definitely get scarier after L7. I think DD would have been capable of training hard and making it to L8 if she had really wanted it last year, but it was clear to me watching her in the gym that she didn't want it. It's just as clear to me now that, after about nine months of mulling it over (starting last September), she DOES want it. The fears have not gone away, but they are no longer paralyzing her.
 
" My oldest DD is one of the best on her team, the most flexible and one if the strongest. She went from pre-team to L7 in 3 years."

Is she one of the best in her L7 group, or is she one of the best in the entire team program? I can see her having a difficult time if she's at the top of the pile and has few examples of success to keep her motivated. If there is a higher group she can follow then she's maybe going through a mental adjustment to wrap her mind around tsuk and beam series work. In that case I'd urge her to go through at least one season of L8 to see how problems evaporate with time and hard work.
 
DD is an 8 right now, after a year of repeating L7 due to fear. Her "group" is definitely showing signs of some girls being very close to done (they range from 11 to 15 in age). Some kids have done 2 years of 7 and are struggling with L8 skills, finding themselves pulled to school activities, etc and seem to be making the choice slowly to do LESS in the gym instead of more...some are older and finding the L8 skills very challenging. Our gym has a history of getting lots of girls to 8 and 9 from 7, and a few 10s (no other 10s in a 100 mile radius back quite a few years...), but I know that DD coach states emphatically that "no girl does more than 2 years of L7"...so some may be moving up that wouldn't otherwise - 85% of our 8s went to regionals this season, so they are reasonably solid none the less...

I do know that one of those L10s who is at a D1 school right now wanted to quit at L8 over her BHS-BHS on beam - and made it through that...(she and her parents have been a big support to my DD) - so fear isn't always the deciding factor - what seems to be happening is that the girls are figuring out how gym fits into their teen/pre-teen life - realizing they won't all go to the Olympics/college gym, and making choices about how they want to spend their time.

My hope with my DD is to get her completely through puberty and all those emotional roller coasters, and through the things that she already is very close to doing but is still a bit afraid of (BT on beam, giants to full dismount, fulls+ on floor, chenko, etc...) so that if she then really wants to quit its on an up turn....but in the end its up to her. She's talented, but not elite quality. She's driven, but fearful. She's a beautiful gymnast to watch and as her mom I really do "love to watch her do gymnastics"....but there will be other things for her...

I will say that for years I have thought this was DS the olders "last year" to the point of paying to send him to Vegas for a big meet because "this will be the last one"....fast forward to puberty and the kid is knocking the socks off everyone with his new skill a practice...and wants to go 5 days a week to learn even more...go figure? At 14 its too late for him to really dream of college gym but L8-10 are really in reach over the next 5 years....he however, is a boy, and getting super strong, and relatively fearless compared to the girls...my point is you never can tell...as long as they work really hard and seem to be growing emotionally, physically etc at gym, I guess I keep paying the bills...
 
I agree. Lots of girls quit at level 7. It gets much harder after that.
 
It also seems to be impossible to keep up the level of strength and flexibility you need for level 7+ unless you're training a lot of hours per week. DD sort of maintained level 6 with training only 9 hours/week this past year, but she cannot possibly progress any further unless she really increases the hours. I also noticed her form has suffered a bit. A lot of kids quit because there's so much more going on at school, other sports, family life and social life that gym really interferes with once you're in the gym 5 days a week!
 
It also seems to be impossible to keep up the level of strength and flexibility you need for level 7+ unless you're training a lot of hours per week. DD sort of maintained level 6 with training only 9 hours/week this past year, but she cannot possibly progress any further unless she really increases the hours. I also noticed her form has suffered a bit. A lot of kids quit because there's so much more going on at school, other sports, family life and social life that gym really interferes with once you're in the gym 5 days a week!

Yes, that's what I read here several times, that after L7, you need a really tailored plan, work specific hours etc. And you can't just go on holiday for a week, without losing strength and skills.

Do you share this opinion?
 
I'm always amazed at how many people I know peaked at L8. Part of it is fear, part other interests. The step up to L8 was really big in my books and L9 is even bigger. My DD competed L8 last season (first year at L8) and is hoping to move to L9 this coming year. I don't know if she'll get there this year, but she's very motivated to try and knowing her perseverance she probably will (knock on wood, et al). It's been interesting couple months after the end of the season because there have been a number of skills where her point of view has changed from 'I can't' to 'I can'. I give lots of credit to the coaches who showed her the potential in unrelated ways. Example - a DB on floor. She has said before that she'd never be able to do that. About a month ago the coach had a "contest" to see who could go the highest on their BT. She surprised herself by being in the top 2 in height. She didn't realize how high she could go and now she's excitedly working the progressions.

My long winded point is that sometimes the kids can't see their own potential and that definitely stalls the progress. I think that's half the battle. If she loves the sport, and it sounds like she's pretty good, I think she a pretty good shot of making it through L8 with only her mind as the barrier. Maybe speak with her coaches to make sure they know her doubts because at least in my world, Momma's opinion in the gymnastics world means nothing, but a coach's feedback can mean the world. L8 and up is a series of progressions. Sometimes the girls get something fast and quick, but more often it just takes a lot of practice. Good luck - I hope she sticks with it.
 
Was it dunno or iwaancoach who once mentioned something along the lines of getting kids to take little bites of a skill at a time to progress. If a gym has their kids working on all the little pieces of the bigger skills from a low level and developing the movement patterns/memory they will have an easier time progressing when the skills get harder because their bodies have experienced the motions.
 
DD is going to repeat 8 next year. Yes, things have gotten a lot harder for her as, with many girls at this level, the start of level 8 corresponded with the start of puberty. She's 13 and has a woman's body now. Progress has been PAINFULLY slow, and it was a rough first year of 8. It's hard to watch the 9 and 10 year-olds pick up skills so easily while every tiny step is an effort for DD. She still has a good attitude about it. I asked her tonight if gymnastics was still fun for her, and the answer was a resounding "yes!" I think this next year will be the deciding factor. If she can have a solid 2nd year at level 8, and start moving towards those level 9 skills, I think she has a chance of sticking it out through high school. If she struggles through another year of 8 while watching her friends either quit or move on, I think it will be hard. I don't think I would ever "make" her quit while she's still enjoying it, but I may start encouraging her to explore other options if she is "stuck" at 8 for too long. I think she is mostly done growing. Maybe another couple of inches to go. I'm hoping that will make things easier.
 
I did a year of seven right after level six and then another year after in seventh and eighth grade. When I was in L5 and whatnot I would look at the "big girls" and day I'll never get to those levels/do those skills, they look so hard and I well be to scared. But as I progressively moved through the levels, whether or was quickly or slowly that I got new skills, I look back and realize that you don't just get up one day and try chucking new skills. The skills you already have help you and you just keep adding on and pretty soon, if you never give up and you work extremely hard and have the heart, you'll be at level 10. I guess it's just the fact that as you progress through gymnastics, the skills won't get easier, but you get better. Hope that makes sense... it's kind of hard ti describe what I was thinking!
 
I remember my dd had a 104 degree fever (she was maybe seven at the time) and she sat crying in her bed for an hour until she cried herself to sleep because I wouldn't let her go to practice. She regularly makes us leave weekend camping or visiting trips at ungodly hours of the morning so she can be back in time for practice. I Don't think she has ever decided for herself that she was unfit for practice. But a moms gotta draw the line somewhere sometimes.
 
I've not had to deal with this personally so all of my input is strictly hypothetical and untested but this is what I think....

I would never let her quit mid-season because of the financial and team commitments. I would also try to stall quitting if she was quitting during a period of frustration that she hadn't had enough time to work through her issues. I guess I want her to quit when she feels like she has been fulfilled with the sport and is leaving on her own terms...not because of fear or frustration. And obviously as a mother, I hope that she doesn't have to leave because of injury. I don't want the sport to break her body down.

I really like how one of our girls did it a couple of years ago. She called a meeting with her parents and coaches and told them that she felt that her particular level was as far as she wanted to go and that she had had a great season and was ready to enter a new stage of her life. She was healthy and pleased with her successes but no regrets about things she hadn't done. She began junior coaching at our gym and is just a phenomenal coach for one so young. She has impressed the heck out of parents and our owner as well. To me, she is the ultimate success story!
 
As a gymnast I've been on the verge of quitting many times due to injuries, mental blocks, and just not having fun. The rule I've always applied to my situation is to not quit at a low. For me this has meant that I can't quit on a bad day, I have to go to the gym and have a great practice. At that point if I still honestly believe it's not worth it then I will quit. This has kept me in the sport and enjoying it for 10+ years. I think it's a very accurate way to evaluate whether you are just going through a rough patch, or if you are actually done in the sport. I hope that helps!
 
My DD competed L7 was she was 12. It was the best year she had! She competed L8 at 13 and had a pretty good year. She made the regional state team and placed very well at regionals. That summer she hit her growth spurt and puberty kicked in full force. Not to mention she was becoming more social. She was training 9 but nothing seemed to click. So she competed L8 again last year and even struggled a bit. She got hurt second meet of the season, nothing serious, but b/c of it she found out she had OCD of the elbow (she went to Dr for a back issue and had them look at elbow too b/c it had been hurting and discovered the OCD). She competed 2 meets with watered down routines this spring before being pulled out b/c of the elbow. I really thought that she was going to quit at that point.

I think the bond she was with her teammates has helped her stay with it. She is having surgery this Friday and is determined to come back strong and compete 9.

We will see what happens as she recovers from surgery and begins HS next year.
 

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