WAG What is fine to ask the coach?

[gymcricket]

DD's gym will have conferences in a couple of weeks and I'm wondering what I should ask the coach.

DD is 8, Level 4 practicing Level 5, and started in gymnastics in August of 2011. She scored over 37 in the meets we've had so far and she won all-around in them, as well. DD seems to have raw natural talent to go with a lot of focus, drive, and determination.

Other parents have asked me if DD will move up to Level 5 soon (I don't know), if she will skip a level (I don't know), and exclaim about DDs abilities (I agree but I'm mom, not the coach).

From appearance, it does seem like DD may be a gymnast long-term but I've also been told that the head-honcho coach taps the Elite material pretty early on and that they get funneled into a special practice group by Level 7. DD has a ways to go before that. DD also says that her coach often comments that DD is "behind," which I think means in terms of TOPS testing (DD could easily do the strength portion but not the skills) and in terms of where she could potentially have been given natural talent if she'd started gymnastics early.

I want to ask the coach what she means when she says Dd is "behind," what DD need to do to bridge the gap, if DD will likely move levels mid-season given her scores, if the coach has a plan for her long-term, and if it would be valuable to seek an evaluation from head-honcho coach to see if she feels the elite tack is worth pursuing and if so, her recommended progression. But I also recognize I am a parent and perhaps some of this is stuff I won't be privy to or is presumptuous to ask of a coach. Since we like the gym, Dd is very happy there,and the training is high-quality, I would like to do my part to have a long,happy, respectful relationship with them.


So, what is okay to ask? Coaches, what question do you wish parents would ask but they don't? What question makes your eyes roll?


Thanks for any and all feedback!

 

[wallflower]

Others may have better thoughts on this subject, but I would say just ask what ever you feel comfortable asking. I always figure that the coaches know what is best and what progression is necessary and probably will come to you with what they want to do.

In my opinion level 4 is too early to ask a question regarding elite. I just doubt that such predictions can be made without seeing how they will do at the higher levels. Lots of kids are great in level 4. If your daughter is in a strong program I would just sit back and not say or ask anything other than general questions like how is her attitude, work ethic, etc. Let them know she is serious about gymnastics and ask how you can best support her.

I'm not saying this, but I'm saying that coaches may think you are a bit crazy for talking about elite after one season of competing level 4. When I hear parents say oh my daughters coach said she has what it takes to do elite or college gymnastics when she is level 4 I personally cringe a little.

 

[gymmomtoo]

I agree with wallflower. I would definitely ask what the coach means by saying your daughter is behind (especially if she's getting 37s her first year--nice!), what the plan is for her, how you can best support that plan. I'd mention that your daughter loves gymnastics and wants to progress, but would avoid asking about elite at this point--it'll come if she shows that promise. Good luck!

 

[momnipotent]

I think the question about the "behind" comments and what can be done to help her "catch up" and the one about a long term plan are good ones. I would hold off on the others because if they are going to move her to level 5 mid-season, that is coming up very soon and I would assume they would tell you this at the meeting without you having to ask. Since potential elites are filtered into the program by level 7, I would save this question until the end of her level 5 year at least.

 

[Gymmommy71]

Although my daughter never would have even come close to scoring a 37 if she would have competed L4 the year she was training the "level 4-ish skills", I can attest that I know/have known several girls who *were* getting those types of scores in L4 that had just average, and in some cases mediocre, L5 seasons the following year...L6 scoring is even more brutal than L5, but I seem to see a better correlation w/ top
performers in L5 also scoring well in L6 and L7... It just seems like L4 isn't as reliable as L5+ in predicting future success IMO. Because of this, I think I'd wait until she gets a 37 in (the current) L5, or a 35 in (the current) L6 if she happens to skip L5 ) before bringing up the Elite thing to a coach. That said, *major kudos* to your daughter for being such a high scoring gymnast so quickly after starting gymnastics...she must be very good at every event. And it's great that she aspires to be an elite. You must be really proud of her....

 

[iwannacoach]

The best to ask are those that will answer "now" questions, such as is she working diligently, paying attention to and trusting the coaches, behavior, and others of that sort. You can ask them how to best support your dd's gym experience from home in the areas of sleep, nutrition, and developing a sense of what "work/reward" really means.


Questions about the future are pretty pointless, as almost every experienced coach has seen kids over their career change the way they view the sport, and how they see themselves within the sport.....sometime that's a good thing, and sometimes not. Given that your dd has "been around" for a pretty brief time, it's highly unlikely they'll want to answer questions beyond tomorrows practice, much less next year.

I mean really and sincerely....what coach wants to be put in the position of forecasting success 8 months down the road, and then have to curb that estimate 5 months later....and of course be suspected of incompetence, favoritism, or some other reason for dd's "reversal", when all they did was to do their best with the challenges the child's physical and emotional changes presented them.

 

[gymcricket]

Thank you so much for your kind replies and for notjumping all over me for asking/thinking about what's a hundred steps down theroad. I am not trying to imply that DD will always meet with the same successas she has in her short stint, just that I am getting lots of non-coachfeedback (I should consider the source!) that I should consider being moredemanding of the coach and that given DD's "late" entry to gymnasticsthat somehow there's something else I should be doing. It's not my naturalinclination to be that pushy and you've confirmed that eye-rolling would occurshould I bring up anything other than "now" issues with the coach.Thanks again for being kind about it!

 

[Deleted member D3987]

1 year 4 months of gymnastics...will i be alive next week?

 

[JessLW]

I would guess that what the coach means by the "behind" stuff is that a lot of the girls who are on a elite or advanced track are training fairly high level skills by age 8. You can look at the requirements for TOPS to get an idea, and for lots of girls, those TOPS skills are still a step down from what they're doing in practice (if not necessarily competing).

I don't think there is any harm in asking the coach what the plan is for your daughter, whether that be a short term plan or a more long term plan. You don't have to necessarily bring up elite, but I don't think there's anything wrong with letting the coach know that your daughter wants to be challenged and is committed to going as far as she can go. I think as long as you're not all Crazy Gym Mom approaching them demanding to be evaluated for elite now and talking about the 2020 Olympics the coaches aren't likely to really get irritated. Just be prepared to politely listen to whatever answer they give, even if that answer is "well, she might make a good college gymnast but elite probably isn't in the cards" or "there's just no way of knowing right now."

 

[iwannacoach]

that I should consider being more demanding of the coach and that given DD's "late" entry to gymnastics that somehow there's something else I should be doing.....elibro

Here's another side to the "late" entry coin. I think that most children become more able to work and communicate with coaches, as well as focus their mental energy to their advantage. That's not saying that a 6yo is unable to display and use those traits, but rather those traits will be more evident and useful as the 6yo becomes an 8yo.

I also think that some kids have finite coping and emotional resources that once exhausted cannot, as a practicle matter, be replaced. These kids may encounter fewer challenges and adversity than many of their peers, but but seem "run out of gas" while some of their friends are still going strong.

I remember teaching a pre-school group, when one of the kids got a bit of carpet burn during a trip through the "obstacle course" by sliding feet first like baseball players do, and errupted into a very serious near tears exclaimation of "I can't believe it....not again", even though it was really a first for both of us. It taught me that we never know what to expect from kids between 2 and 6 years of age, and usually the unexpected "not agains" are going to hurt....and be remembered.

In a sense, your dd may have an advantage in starting late because her "intangibles" were more completely in place and working to minimize her stress level while improving her ability listen, respond, and adapt. She'll likely have fewer frustating days that end in tears, if at all, and be less confused and intimidated.....that means more energy for learning with "positives" happening close enough to one another to generate more positive energy and enthusiasm.

So while the cgm's get their knickers wound up by focusing on the "future", be content to enjoy the present and to concentrate on making each week's "now" the best it can be...and that is all you need to know about the future.

 

[GymBeeMom]

So our HC just reminded my 8 year old that Alicia Sacromone never entered a gym until 8 years old and at 8 1/2 Gabby Douglas was nowhere near conditioned to the Level of TOPS girls now. The point of this conversation was that there is time at 8 years old to make dreams come true.

That being said, most "elite track" 8year olds are working high level skills. My 8 year old is level 7 working a variety of upper level skills. HOWEVER, as a 6 year old level 4 she was only in the 36 range for meets. Same as a level 5. SHe skipped level 6. No 38s for my kiddo (yet) Because at our gym compulsory scoring is not an indicator of future success in the sport (according to HC). My DDs teammates with higher scores were not always happy with my DD advancing.

My whole point is; your 8 year old is not behind in competing, still has time if elite is something she wants, and scores in meets mean very little either way. Just ask your coach what they have in mind for her near future and let them know what your DD would like to see happen. Then go from there

 

[BlairBob]

compulsory scoring is not an indicator of future success in the sport

I've heard this a lot by many big name coaches.

Really, it's L3/4/5/6. Woopty do. A lot of judging on things that won't matter in the optional levels such as timing to the compulsory music.

 

[Deleted member D3987]

and many other coaches say that if their kids repeatedly win state championships at the compulsory level, where nothing else is taking place, that it might be high time to fire all those coaches. lol.

 

[GymBeeMom]

dunno and blairbob, I wonder if you know our coaches. You often seem to share philosophies...