Parents When is it time to quit?

[observantmom]

I realize this question has been posted again and again through the years by many parents going through this same dilemma but just recently, we started hearing the mutterings about wanting to quit the sport.
Some background on my daughter:
Middle school L8 training L9.
Has had multiple surgeries and ongoing injuries
Has recently returned to sport and it's going well - she's stronger than before and doing more complex skills than before. That being said, she does have bad days due to some chronic issues stemming from old injuries.

The talk about quitting took me by surprise because she's been shooting me videos of new skills and exciting things she's been working on at the gym. When I asked her why I got a myriad of answers...she's going to get injured again. The time commitment is too much. Wants to try other sports. Sick of always being sore and in pain. Wants a real summer, etc.

I don't want to force her to do something she's truly done with. By the same time, I don't want to tell her to walk away just because it's getting challenging especially because this has been her passion since pre-school and has thrived in the sport. Has anyone been through a similar situation and what advice would you give me?

 

[GymnastMomX2]

If she voicing these things to you now it’s likely something she’s been thinking about for a very long time. If she wants to quit, let her. It’s a very typical age/level for girls to decide they are done and ready to move on to other things in life. My older daughter was done with the sport while training level 9, so I get it, it was hard for me too. My younger daughter is in 9th grade and shows no signs of being done yet, but we shall see.

 

[observantmom]

If she voicing these things to you now it’s likely something she’s been thinking about for a very long time. If she wants to quit, let her. It’s a very typical age/level for girls to decide they are done and ready to move on to other things in life. My older daughter was done with the sport while training level 9, so I get it, it was hard for me too. My younger daughter is in 9th grade and shows no signs of being done yet, but we shall see.

Thanks for this. Did your older daughter ever have regrets and want to go back? Or did she make a smooth transition into other sports and activities? I just don't want her to look back and wish she had given it more time because I know rough patches happen.

 

[NutterButter]

Gymnastics above L8 is a sport that requires that the athlete is 'all in'. If she's not all in then you should honor this and help guide her on what's next. It could be that with all her injuries she's realized that for her, the trade off between risk of injury and continuing in the sport is just not worth it. Has she mentioned other sports she'd like to try? If she's made it to L9, she's athletically talented and will for sure transition well to other sports she is interested in. Maybe have her try another sport over the summer - even if it's just for fun (such as indoor climbing).

 

[GymnastMomX2]

Thanks for this. Did your older daughter ever have regrets and want to go back?

She definitely missed it, but I wouldn’t say regretted quitting, she dove into marching band which took up all her free time. She also started coaching gymnastics, and got into competitive rock climbing. So she has stayed busy. She is just finishing college now and is still super into rock climbing and outdoor activities.

 

[Dahlialover]

When I asked her why I got a myriad of answers...she's going to get injured again. The time commitment is too much. Wants to try other sports. Sick of always being sore and in pain. Wants a real summer, etc.

Those seem like some very legitimate reasons. Gymnastics always ends and it’s a lot better to leave gymnastics on a high note than to leave due to an injury or extreme burnout.

 

[Madden3]

When my kids had to make hard decisions, I helped them make a list of pros and cons. It helps the decision maker focus her mind and really consider what she is imagining for life post-decision, whatever that decision is. Also in my experience, when there are many reasons given, the true, most important reason is either being hidden or not given enough weight. She may not realize what it is herself yet.

This is assuming she is really considering leaving the sport. Muttering about quitting could just be normal blowing off steam.

 

[Lobster]

My younger daughter was in a similar situation competing level 9 at age 12 and wanted to quit due to pain from injuries. Having parented her older sister through this sport I knew it only gets harder from that point on. So for me it was easy to let her move on. Had she been my first I would have encouraged her to push through the injuries and the rough times. Things will get better! But truthfully this is a brutally difficult sport. It doesn’t get better. There are great moments that help ease the pain they endure, but I’m not sure it’s worth it. Speaking from the perspective of a mom who has one competing D1 NCAA and one who moved on in middle school.

My retired gymnast found a great sport she loves and she’s very happy. She has no regrets and neither do I.