WAG Which way do we go?

[x98peterson]

Catie's Mom,

It took us an entire season of Level 2 and constant pestering of the coach at our former gym to move my daughter up through the levels up to L5 until we realized she wasn't in the right place. This place made lots of money on privates and had all the mom's fighting over time on the calendar to get their daughter a private lesson. We left and long story short she is 9 yr old training Elite at her new gym and we couldn't be happier. I should also mention, we got privates for free at her new gym to better prepare her for TOPs and transition to Elite program.

Good luck and let us know how it goes.

Privates free? I want to go to your gym!

 

[mpkbt]

3 problems with your daughter being nationally ranked....injury, body type and BOYS! You have no idea at this point which, if not all 3, will interfere with her future. Find a new gym, have NO expectations of the national team, and enjoy the journey. Could haves, would haves just steal your joy of the present. So much of this journey is out of your control, you must stay in the here and now.

 

[gymdog]

My thoughts on the new info...

1) The scene in the Gabby Douglass story was nothing more than Hollywood fiction. There is no way a truly experienced coach/gym would react that way to the kid in that scene (not getting pissed off that she was behaving like a wild child in their gym and also reacting as if they had never seen talent before)..

Haven't seen the movie. In reality, Gabby was placed on level 4 (current level 3) the same year she started and won states as an 8 year old that year. She then competed at level 7 states the following season (practically unheard of in VA since we only have one season per calendar year no matter what level).

She obviously didn't spend much or any time at level 2.

 

[profmom]

Just to clarify for anyone who may stumble across the thread, there are contracts and then there are contracts. We do sign a contract with the gym every year promising that we, the team parents, will pay our bills on time, do a shift of Saturday morning coffee, and sign up for a shift to work at our home meet. The contract does not obligate us to keep our children in training at the gym, nor does it prohibit them from competing for another gym if we move.

 

[Gymmonkeymomma]

Privates free? I want to go to your gym!

We actually get freebies too, if it is a struggle with a skill and coach feels gymmie needs some extra 1 on 1 time, he will have them come in for a half hour/40 mins. I usually buy brownies

 

[lovemygymnast]

Just to clarify for anyone who may stumble across the thread, there are contracts and then there are contracts. We do sign a contract with the gym every year promising that we, the team parents, will pay our bills on time, do a shift of Saturday morning coffee, and sign up for a shift to work at our home meet. The contract does not obligate us to keep our children in training at the gym, nor does it prohibit them from competing for another gym if we move.

So, contracts aren't the norm? We sign one yearly, basically saying if you leave, you'll still pay until the end of the meet season. Had no idea that wasn't the way it is other places. My DD is L4 & we have never been to any other gym.

 

[LJL07]

So, contracts aren't the norm? We sign one yearly, basically saying if you leave, you'll still pay until the end of the meet season. Had no idea that wasn't the way it is other places. My DD is L4 & we have never been to any other gym.

We sign a contract as well.

 

[ollieblueeyes]

We have a contract with the booster club that commits us to volunteer hours and membership dues for the duration of the current season. I think if there is an extenuating circumstance (injury, illness, job loss) they have not enforced payment of fees not already spent.

We have a different contract with the gym for monthly gym fees. I believe its a 30 day notice witch seems fair. There are also provisions for injury, job loss etc.

Both seem pretty straightforward and fair.

 

[munchkin3]

Can I ask, what skills is she working? you said she has been working on some L4 and 5 skills. Im just curious to know, is she excelling on Floor or Bars?
Bars is usually the tough one. Does she have her Kip? Can she cast to horizontal or above?

 

[kandkfunk]

Contracts for annual meet fee obligations and often volunteer hours are pretty normal. Meaning if you leave before the end of the meet season you are obligated to pay the coaching fees for the remainder of the meets. That requirement has to do with how coaching fees are normally calculated. Coaching fees are based on a set number of girls and if one or more girls leaves, the coach still needs to be paid and it's not fair to increase the fees for the girls are staying.

Contracts obligating an athlete to continue paying tuition for a period of time after the athlete leaves is not the norm. Usually a 30 day drop notice is all that is required.

 

[wallflower]

Where do you go from here? I'd say head straight to a bar, have a few and chill out. Level 2 and even 3 and 4 are so far from elite physically, mentally and emotionally that it's a crazy question. Learn how to crawl before you worry about running.

 

[LMV]

As I have read these latest posts I am in tears. I think I am dealing with a lot of guilt on my part. I did not put her into gymnastics earlier than this because of abuse in my former marriage. (that is all I am comfortable saying on a public board). I have known and been told for a while that Catie has oodles of talent and that it is a shame for her not to be out there.

My guilt comes because I know where she would POSSIBLY be if I had not held her back due to circumstances that were not her fault at all. I brought her to gym and had an experience like the mom in the movie the Gabby douglas story...........I stood there with my mouth open while my child amazed the coaches, and me, and her step father and the other parents.......at least the ones that approached me after practice. I don't know how to describe it but instead of feeling proud I felt guilty. My child is not competing on a level where she can easily get to elite because I have held her back, not because she does not have the talent because she certainly does, obviously.

So what can I do about it? The only thing I know how to do is find her an alternate path and see how she does at it. I guess that is what I am grappling with, and the gym along with me. Are they trying to keep her as long as possible? Maybe, I mean if she has the stuff then that is only trophies in their case. I don't know where to go or turn so I came to this blog. I don't know if I will get what I need.........the information I need to find the resources my daughter needs to get on an alternative track to Elite. But it was worth a try.

*I'm sorry you were involved in an abusive relationship in the past. Sometimes the after effects of this can linger. Do not hesitate to seek out the help you need to address this. Stress reactions, and PTSD are usually more difficult to treat when they have become entrenched.
*I would be hesitant to presume your daughter can't succeed in gymnastics just because she didn't start before eight. It may be unlikely that she will reach an elite level, but honestly, only a very small percentage of those three year old tiny tumblers reach an elite level. I can think of a few gymnasts who qualified elite and even competed internationally for the US who started gymnastics at age eight or later.
*Does your daughter have her kip yet? Does she have a front handspring over the table? If she doesn't have these basic building block skills then, unless I was worried about safety issues in her gym, I would probably just take a deep breath and few steps back and allow her to progress to that point.
*If your daughter has a strong kip and a vault over the table then it would be reasonable to discuss with the coaches if she is ready to compete L4. This is the first mandatory level for USAG was essentially the level our older gymnastic child started at, even if USAG technically called it L5 back when she competed it. Personally I wouldn't push having a child competing before L4.
*I also wouldn't be pushing for an alternative path and rushing through levels for the sake of rushing. Honestly, if your daughter is ready to go for L4 then do L4 this year do L5 next year when she is nine. Go to L7 at age ten and then see what the future holds. If she is still improving by leaps and bounds she can score out of L7 and really compete L8 at ten. If she is a ten year old L8 with solid skills and she still really wants elite, is physically and emotionally in a position to pursue that, and you are in a financial position for her to pursue that then I think this can be a good time to look to transition to a different gym. If the coaches at your gym really have your daughter's best interests at heart then they will help you in the process. Our girls are at a gym which does not train elite but does coach well up to and at L10. They send girls onto college teams with E skills and scholarships each year. Elite is not a physical option for our daughter so we think she is exactly where she needs to be but when she was an eleven year old L9 her coach was honest and prepared to help us find her a new gym if she/we wanted to go in that direction.

 

[SignHere]

To the OP, LMV is giving you very sound advice and actually a good road map/ plan. I know it seems hard/ frustrating to put it off. Time will tell.

Just beware, though. I thought my DD had Elite potential and wanted to pursue Elite track. I thought her coaches saw that potential in her and were supportive of her goals, including a move to a gym in our state that has a proven track record of producing Elites and Olympians. I couldn't have been more wrong!

If I mentioned taking her to be evaluated, there was some excuse, some promise. Then when I finally took her to be evaluated/ try-out at the other gym without telling her coaches, it was considered a gigantic betrayal. Tons of recriminations, accusations, the like.

 

[bookworm]

I think at 2 months in the gym and Level 2, the discussion of the elite path can be tabled until you see if she stays in the sport...so much can happen...

 

[Deleted member 14190]

Is this thread for real?

 

[Sari]

Don't blame yourself for starting her late. Things happened. Circumstances weren't right. Now they are and from what you've said, it sounds like your daughter is loving gymnastics. If she's having fun, that's all I would focus on right now, and save these kinds of worries for later (even though it's hard).

Despite not being a baby in the competitive gym world, she's still quite young at eight to be making serious life decisions. A lot of girls her age are dreaming of becoming the next Olympians, yet very few of them keep and achieve those goals. I wouldn't discourage her ambitions at this point as they might be one of the reasons she's working hard at the gym. Once she starts competing, she'll naturally get that (oftentimes somewhat cruel) "reality check".

 

[my4buffaloes]

Is this thread for real?

Well…I have been wondering.

 

[onelittledream]

ummm ok wow............ I have had to work some extra hours the last couple of days. That plus gym made me only able to check in once in a while. I did not expect to start drama and I apologize.

To answer some questions............last night the coach started working with child to do handsprings over the vault.............so she can do it but it is not polished yet. I had no idea what a Kip was but asked coach and again I was told that she has a kip into verticle but it is being worked on being polished. I have some video and I am debating on uploading it or not.

I believe the closest gym where I can have someone "take a look at her" and get a more grounded response is about 6 hour drive away, but I will do what it takes to get her there because that seems to be the thing to do. The up side of it being so far away is that they will probably be unlikely to know who she is, like the local gyms do, and call and tell her gym that she was there so I will avoid that drama if there were to be any.

I admit between the research on this I have been doing, the extra hours I have been working and the gym time I am a little touchy but I feel like I need to say something: Yes this post is "real". I am sorry that I did not put my child into the gym at 2 or 3. I am sorry that my newness and questions seem to have offended some. I am dealing with a gym that possibly may not be enough and a kid that just can't get enough. I am sorry if that offends. Are we new? yes............do I have any idea what I am doing? no.............that is why I turned to you all. But I am starting to feel like I do in the gym where parents that have been there a while see my child taking attention of the coaches and so I get the pointed stares and the whispers and points. No I do not belong to the "mommy club", that is why I came here.

On the other hand I want to thank those few that have reached out to me privately and offered help and advice. I am doing all I can to make what you have suggested happen.

To the administrator: if you want to take this thread down I am fine with that. I feel that it is just to bothersome for some of the commentors.

 

[kayjaybe]

OP - I think most of the people here just want to make sure you aren't getting ahead of yourself. Talking about a path to elite for a child that has been doing gymnastics for 2 months seems akin to talking about a 1st grader joining Mensa.

Is it possible that your 8 yo could become elite or a 1st grader could join Mensa someday? Sure, but it is premature to be planning your lives around that at this early stage.

Unfortunately, your recent post points out what a burden this will be on your family if your child does have all the qualities for elite. With the closest gym able to support that being 6 hours away, are you willing to relocate your family for this? Or have your child living away from home with a sponsor family (if they even do that)?

I would love to see some video, not because I have any special training to "evaluate" her, but because I love to watch kids do gymnastics.

 

[ladybird]

ummm ok wow............ I have had to work some extra hours the last couple of days. That plus gym made me only able to check in once in a while. I did not expect to start drama and I apologize.

To answer some questions............last night the coach started working with child to do handsprings over the vault.............so she can do it but it is not polished yet. I had no idea what a Kip was but asked coach and again I was told that she has a kip into verticle but it is being worked on being polished. I have some video and I am debating on uploading it or not.

I believe the closest gym where I can have someone "take a look at her" and get a more grounded response is about 6 hour drive away, but I will do what it takes to get her there because that seems to be the thing to do. The up side of it being so far away is that they will probably be unlikely to know who she is, like the local gyms do, and call and tell her gym that she was there so I will avoid that drama if there were to be any.

I admit between the research on this I have been doing, the extra hours I have been working and the gym time I am a little touchy but I feel like I need to say something: Yes this post is "real". I am sorry that I did not put my child into the gym at 2 or 3. I am sorry that my newness and questions seem to have offended some. I am dealing with a gym that possibly may not be enough and a kid that just can't get enough. I am sorry if that offends. Are we new? yes............do I have any idea what I am doing? no.............that is why I turned to you all. But I am starting to feel like I do in the gym where parents that have been there a while see my child taking attention of the coaches and so I get the pointed stares and the whispers and points. No I do not belong to the "mommy club", that is why I came here.

On the other hand I want to thank those few that have reached out to me privately and offered help and advice. I am doing all I can to make what you have suggested happen.

To the administrator: if you want to take this thread down I am fine with that. I feel that it is just to bothersome for some of the commentors.

Every once in a while someone comes on this forum and asks about the elite path for their child. It tends to "stir the pot" a little.