Parents Would you do it again?

[Deleted member D3987]

Well, I could write a book about this one, but despite my 3 girls being very successful in this sport, I absolutely say I would NOT do this again for so many reasons. We are nearing the end of this journey with my oldest daughter who just finished her sophomore year of HS. She has won many state and regional medals, is a western AA/event medalist and has qualified for JO lv. 10 Nationals both years of lv. 10. She will in all liklihood receive a college scholarship. However, I can say that the financial drain, family sacrifice, injuries, emotional toll, etc. will not have been worth any reward at the end of this path. She has loved it, but as her mother if I could, I would go back and rewind the clock and guide all of my girls down a different path without question.

i don't think you'll see the reward until they're grown adults. you're to close to it at the moment. and everything you have described in a parents duty is what were supposed to do. it's what you do. and what different path could there be where everything you listed is not present? competitive knitting?? i hope you see things differently in a couple of years. i sincerely mean that.

 

[exgymnastmomx3]

Well, I appreciate the feedback, dunno. I love sports in general and believe they are good for kids. My oldest daughter has a twin brother who is a top notch all season runner. He found this passion in 6th grade when he started running Cross Country for his middle school. In 7th and 8th grade he went to State in Cross Country and track and medaled in the top 5 all of his seasons. He is also now a sophomore and is an all season very serious runner. His sport has cost us very little financially, very little loss of family time together as his practices are after school and the school is only 5 minutes away. The drama in the running venue is no where near the drama in the gymnastics venue and overall there has been a lot of joy and benefit with virtually no negative experience. I'm not saying this is everybody's experience, but it has been ours. His scholarship opportunities are on the same level as his twin sister. I may be comparing apples with oranges here, but my kids are all driven and all athletic, so competitive knitting isn't my thing, nor theirs. However, given the fact that all 3 girls are very athletic I guess I sometimes wonder "What if we hadn't gone down this road". After almost 9 years in this sport and going into level 10, my middle daughter just had to call it quits after 5 legs injuries. She spent more time in physical therapy in the last few years than in the gym and enough was enough. I KNOW the grass isn't always greener, but gymnastics is a HUGE committment and people do need to realize that before they take it on. This year alone we traveled to Florida, Kentucky, Iowa, Illinois, California, and Missouri. The expense is phenomial as well as the time. As a parent of 4 kids and with a husband who had a serious back injury this year and had to be on disability this year, it was difficult at best. I am very proud of my gymnasts and there have been some great moments and I agree with you that I hope when all is said and done I hope I am at peace with the whole experience. I agree that I am too close to it at the moment and at the end of a very long season and a disappointing Nationals for my daughter along with my middle daughter having to quit, I am probably speaking with some emotion as well.

 

[cher062]

Keep in mind though your stats are for ER visits. I wonder if a list exists that can show us all injuries diagnosed by other doctors other than ER personnel. I'm thinking most parents wouldn't take their kids to the ER for overtraining or other less "dramatic" injuries.

not sure they can track that really but I think that those same non ER visits might be percentage wise similar really.

 

[Deleted member D3987]

Well, I appreciate the feedback, dunno. I love sports in general and believe they are good for kids. My oldest daughter has a twin brother who is a top notch all season runner. He found this passion in 6th grade when he started running Cross Country for his middle school. In 7th and 8th grade he went to State in Cross Country and track and medaled in the top 5 all of his seasons. He is also now a sophomore and is an all season very serious runner. His sport has cost us very little financially, very little loss of family time together as his practices are after school and the school is only 5 minutes away. The drama in the running venue is no where near the drama in the gymnastics venue and overall there has been a lot of joy and benefit with virtually no negative experience. I'm not saying this is everybody's experience, but it has been ours. His scholarship opportunities are on the same level as his twin sister. I may be comparing apples with oranges here, but my kids are all driven and all athletic, so competitive knitting isn't my thing, nor theirs. However, given the fact that all 3 girls are very athletic I guess I sometimes wonder "What if we hadn't gone down this road". After almost 9 years in this sport and going into level 10, my middle daughter just had to call it quits after 5 legs injuries. She spent more time in physical therapy in the last few years than in the gym and enough was enough. I KNOW the grass isn't always greener, but gymnastics is a HUGE committment and people do need to realize that before they take it on. This year alone we traveled to Florida, Kentucky, Iowa, Illinois, California, and Missouri. The expense is phenomial as well as the time. As a parent of 4 kids and with a husband who had a serious back injury this year and had to be on disability this year, it was difficult at best. I am very proud of my gymnasts and there have been some great moments and I agree with you that I hope when all is said and done I hope I am at peace with the whole experience. I agree that I am too close to it at the moment and at the end of a very long season and a disappointing Nationals for my daughter along with my middle daughter having to quit, I am probably speaking with some emotion as well.

i hear you.

 

[curlymomof3]

Thanks for all the feedback!! We are a very active family as I mentioned, and I too believe that DD could be successful in a variety of sports. This is why I am having a difficult time commiting to one! We love watching our kids compete and the joy that they recieve from it. But we also love having the freedom to take off on a weekend camping trip if we want and having lots of family time! My oldest played on his All-Stars baseball team last summer at age 8 and it consumed us! While we had a blast at his baseball tournements every weekend, we also missed out on a lot of ordinary summer stuff like family reunions, weekend getaways, and just hanging out.

As of this morning, Dd has decided she wants to do dance. While I would love her to try the team gymnastics thing, I also accept the fact that she also has developed a love of dance and wants to be with her friends. I am going to have her take a tumbling class so she doesn't lose the skills she has gained from gymnastics. If she decides in a year that she wants to go back to gymnastics then we will try that route again. Best of luck with all of you and your gymnasts!! I might be back

 

[Panda-girl's Mom]

Just reading this now. My daughter was your daughters age when she started team. She just recently decided to give it up she just turned 11. Although she has had alot of overuse injuries I would probally not have changed a thing by letting her join the team. When she was your daughters age at first she was also unsure but decided to join. She gave up dance that year but she only did dance classes not a team. I could always tell she had a specail passion for the gymnastics so I supported her joining the team.
Your daughter is young it is great that she was able to make the choice. I think still keeping her in the tumbling class is a good idea. She should be able to still pursue both interests at 7 although I can understand where being part of competitive dance and gym is too much committement for any age. Do not let people make you feel that competitive gymnastics is out if she does not join the team at 7 many girls start at later ages so the option will still be there in the future.

 

[exgymnastmomx3]

My oldest did gymnastics for several years, and at the ripe age of 9 quit competing to pursue other sports. She was a level 5 at the time. I believe she is so good at other sports because of her foundation in gymnastics. She went into softball with so much upper body strength and coordination, that even though she started at a later age, she quickly caught up to her peers.

I agree completely with this, which gives me much comfort that in no way were my middle daughter's years in gymnastics wasted. She was able to run 8th grade track and do well and when she tried out for the Varsity High School Dance team, which is very competitive in our school since they won State last year, she was only one of a few freshman that made it out of 60 kids that tried out. So, I know those 8 years gave her a great athletic background besides being fun for her and giving her confidence.

 

[exgymnastmomx3]

dunno;161522]i hear you)

Well, Thanks for listening. I know that my experience has been more overwhelming than most because I had 3 daughters in this sport for so long. The hours and money and time committment we've put in have been x3 for everything. So many things have revolved around gymnastics for so long that it just gets to be too much sometimes. Now that I'm down to only 2 daughters in the gym, it actually has been a bit easier all the way around

 

[SkiBumGymMom]

I absolutely 100% would choose gymnastics again. I did the sport in high school, but in the 1970s it was far more relaxed. I enrolled my daughter for therapeutic reasons, from social interaction to learning communication to helping with balance and physical strength. I just planned to keep her in rec classes and then be done by elementary school. 17 years later I have a daughter who qualified for L 10 nationals, had elite coaching/gym offers and the opportunity to compete for an NCAA DI team (though it got derailed by injury). But honestly I could care less about that. Gymnastics has provided my daughter with the skills to be organized, to give her self confidence and grace, to give her teamwork and a work ethic that rivals anyone I know, which has helped her deal with a very turbulent life. She's also kind, considerate, helpful, patient, understanding... everything I could dream of in a daughter. (Of course we had some rough teenage years, I love her but we're both still human!) Despite the multiple hour drives in blizzards, saving up from a second job to pay for travel and meet fees, the hours spent listening to compulsory floor music... I would never change it. I am blessed to have such a wonderful daughter and I credit gymnastics with helping her grow up to be that way.

 

[SkiBumGymMom]

Well, I could write a book about this one, but despite my 3 girls being very successful in this sport, I absolutely say I would NOT do this again for so many reasons. We are nearing the end of this journey with my oldest daughter who just finished her sophomore year of HS. She has won many state and regional medals, is a western AA/event medalist and has qualified for JO lv. 10 Nationals both years of lv. 10. She will in all liklihood receive a college scholarship. However, I can say that the financial drain, family sacrifice, injuries, emotional toll, etc. will not have been worth any reward at the end of this path. She has loved it, but as her mother if I could, I would go back and rewind the clock and guide all of my girls down a different path without question.

I just posted a glowing comment about gymnastics, but honestly I can understand where you're coming from. When my daughter was at her peak (L 10 by middle school) and begging to go to the elite gym in our state, I was exhausted. The only gym with a JO program is in another county and over a mountain pass and in the winter can take hours. I'm a single mom and teacher and was struggling to make ends meet for our family (which included an older son from a previous relationship, and my youngest daughter who is a competitive dancer). I told my daughter she could not do elite, we would not move the 4 + hours away to be in the large city where the gym is, nor would I allow her to move in with another family to train (my husband passed away when the girls were young and I didn't want to break up my family more). She was upset, tried high school gym, had problems with the team, did cheerleading and loved it and went back to gym. It's taken me a few years and my daughter really going back to gymnastics and her love for the sport and to see how it's helped her grow into a wonderful young woman for me to really appreciate our past decisions. They weren't always easy, they weren't always (if ever) glamorous but they have worked out so well in the long run. I wish you this same peace in your future!!

 

[bogwoppit]

Looking at my 14 year old lying on the sofa right now, recovering from surgery to fix spondy of both types, I think no I wouldn't do it again. But then again I know gym has given my girls confidence and the ability to perform publically and so many other great things. BUt it can be a very hard sport and not every body can stand the rigors and demands.

Elite was not a consideration as we live so far from big gyms and would never give up our rural life style for a sport. But these injuries would've come up way sooner with more hours, so maybe she would've been out of the sport much faster.

Younger DD simply grew out of gym, she used to love it with al her heart, now she doesn't and she stopped. Feeling very satisfied with all she learned.

In balance gym was good for my girls, we all enjoyed it and benefitted from it. But it is hard on a family to commit and devoting so much time to the sport can certainly change the quality of family life and relationships in the home.

 

[exgymnastmomx3]

I just posted a glowing comment about gymnastics, but honestly I can understand where you're coming from. When my daughter was at her peak (L 10 by middle school) and begging to go to the elite gym in our state, I was exhausted. The only gym with a JO program is in another county and over a mountain pass and in the winter can take hours. I'm a single mom and teacher and was struggling to make ends meet for our family (which included an older son from a previous relationship, and my youngest daughter who is a competitive dancer). I told my daughter she could not do elite, we would not move the 4 + hours away to be in the large city where the gym is, nor would I allow her to move in with another family to train (my husband passed away when the girls were young and I didn't want to break up my family more). She was upset, tried high school gym, had problems with the team, did cheerleading and loved it and went back to gym. It's taken me a few years and my daughter really going back to gymnastics and her love for the sport and to see how it's helped her grow into a wonderful young woman for me to really appreciate our past decisions. They weren't always easy, they weren't always (if ever) glamorous but they have worked out so well in the long run. I wish you this same peace in your future!


Thank you so much for your post. I really appreciate your input. I guess sometimes it's difficult in the midst of a long journey to always appreciate the ride. It's really easy to look at all of the bumps in the road. Thanks to everyone who is helping me try to put it in perspective. I AM looking for peace and know that in 2 short years my oldest daughter will be off to college, so I'd really like to enjoy the rest of the time she has left with us at home.

 

[curlymomof3]

I just wanted to post another update. Dd had her spring show for gym last night and had such a blast and now says she definitely wants to do gymnastics. We attended the team meeting afterwards for parents of those invited to join the team. It turns out she will be competing level 3 which is not as time consuming as level 4 and a good place to "try it out." She would be going 2 days/week in the summer with 2 hours for each practice. The coaches said we could try it for the summer and let them know in August what our decision is. So that is what we are going to do for now. She will still have time to attend her dance class in summer and can let them know in the fall as well what she decides. I'm curious how much she will like the more intense team practices once the conditioning is thrown in. As much as I worry about the future of the sport if she continues, I'm glad she has decided to pursue it because she truly is an amazing little gymnast (in my completely biased opinion, LOL). She already has her round-off BHS which is a great start!! Thank you for all the wonderful advice and comments. I'm sure I will back to visit this board often!!