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My kid is an exception

Discussion in 'Parent Forum' started by NGL780309, Sep 3, 2010.

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  1. NGL780309

    NGL780309 Guest

    Everyone we know from gym has a kid that just can't wait to compete. The kids on preteam are itching to be on team and get to compete. The girls who finally competed last weekend were so happy. They had finally made it!

    Meanwhile there's my child who says she really doesn't want to compete. She just wants to practice. She likes learning routines and loves going to practice, but says pretty strongly that she's not interested in competing. One part of me thinks she just needs a little push and once she was at a meet she would have fun. She's just scared. The other part thinks she really means it and she has no desire.

    Anyone else have a kid who didn't want to compete?

    In general my child often doesn't want to do a lot of things. She didn't want to do her first dance recital, but now loves it. She's shy and I often have to give her a push to get her to try new things, which she then loves. Any other reluctant competitors out there? Experiences to share?

  2. bogwoppit

    bogwoppit Administrator Staff Member CBBC Board Member

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    Canada Canada
    My youngest DD has a close friend at gym who hates competing adn loves to train gym. SO this year that is what she'll do. SHe is a fabulous dancer and very graceful on the beam, she has placed well at meets and made it to our States equivalent meets. But she just hates competing and is stopping.

    Not evey kid is cut out for it, it is not eay to perform in your underwear in public and be judged for it. Mnd you, your child is very little and has never tried it, but she has seen what it looks and feels like.

    I suppose I would encourage the first meet, but if after that she was still reluctant I would explore other ways for her to enjoy gym.
  3. Azgymmiemom

    Azgymmiemom Active Member CBBC Board Member Proud Parent

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    You're not alone. My ds9 started taking gym because he is extremely competitve with his sister. He couldn't stand to see her getting stronger and stronger and not get in on it, so to speak. He loves competitive team sports...baseball, basketball...and is a great motivator for his teammates. However, now that he's been asked to join the level 4 team, he is very hesitant. He loves gym now (more than he thought he would, I believe) but the idea of competing alone really scares him.
    He was always the kid that never wanted to try anything new, too, until he did it the first time..then loved it.
    I think he will end up competing because his coaches really think he'd like it and do well, and so I'm sure he will let them talk him into it.
    But if he just wants to train to condition for other sports and have fun, then that's just fine with me.
  4. SkiBumGymMom

    SkiBumGymMom Guest

    My youngest daughter is a dancer. She did a few years of rec gym but didn't enjoy it and begged to start dance lessons. She started ballet and loved it, she'd even come home and perform in her room. But during her first recital, when she was about 5 or 6 if I remember correctly, she stood on stage and wouldn't move. She then ran off crying, it was really heartbreaking. I didn't really push her, but after seeing a few of her older sister's gymnastics meets (the two girls are polar opposites, my oldest is outgoing and social and loves e, my youngest is painful shy, quiet and very emotional), she decided she wanted to try. Ten years later and she just landed the major role at our state's ballet academy and still loves dancing. All kids are different I've learned! Maybe there's an older girl/sister/neighbor/friend/relative that could inspire her? Or practicing on her own? There's a lot of different reasons some kids have problems with performing, sometimes they just take time. Good luck to you and your daughter! I bet she'll do amazing when the time comes.

  5. lilgymmie7

    lilgymmie7 Guest

    My oldest DD was painfully shy as a little girl. I was amazed when she told as at 6 that she wanted to give gymnastics a try again. When she was a toddler she was involved in gym, but every time a gym show rolled around she ran off the floor in tears. I don't exactly know what happened, but when it came time to compete as a level 5, she really shinned. She constantly told us how much she loved to compete. She was able to find a way to keep her nervousness down at competitions. She no longer does gymnastics, but it helped her come out of her shell.
    Our little DD is the opposite, she has always lit up when she is on display. Good luck to your DD. If she knows you support her 100%, I'm sure she will find a way to overcome her fears. If she has any-
  6. Kiwi

    Kiwi Coach Coach Proud Parent Gymnast Judge

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    New Zealand New Zealand
    My older DD is exactly like this. She loves trampolining so a couple of years back I took her to a trampoline class. I practically had to drag her onto the tramp and she was having a huge tantrum, I felt like everyone must be looking at me thinking what an awful mother I was, torturing my poor kid. By the end of the lesson she was joining in with the other kids and next lesson day she ran in all by herself. She just has a problem with new things and once she gets over that first hurdle she is fine.

    She also does rec gym and has never wanted to do the novice competitions. This time I talked about it with her a few times, giving her a chance to think about it for a while and get used to the idea. She finally decided to give it a go and was so proud of herself for having the courage to try it. I think it was very good for her confidence.
  7. mariposa

    mariposa Moderator/Proud Parent Staff Member CBBC Board Member Proud Parent

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    It actually is pretty common. I have seen many kids that have said they don't want to compete and then they get out there and love it. I have also seen a few very talented kids that said the same thing and never competed. They tried, got upset, cried and just didn't want to do it. It isn't for everyone. One of the girls that was on team with my DD and had those fears was such an amazingly talented little girl. It was so hard to see her struggle with it. She JUST wanted to do gymnastics at the level she was at, not compete, but that isn't possible at most gyms in our area. She tried at a mock meet once at our gym and enjoyed it, but when she saw where the first real meet was, she refused. I would say the first situation is more common. They don't know what to expect, it is very overwhelming. Hopefully they do mock meets or something to get her a little prepared and for her first meets I would stress that her only goal is to get out there, have fun and make it through her routines!!
  8. NGL780309

    NGL780309 Guest

    Like an earlier poster, I often have to drag her into things kicking and screaming. It's just that I know her and once she starts something she ends up liking it, but she's just very reluctant. I don't want her to miss out on things because she's shy.

    Her first gym class ever she laid on the mat and cried. By the second class she was fine. She does this at birthday parties too. It's people she knows, but she will not participate in any of the activities. One of her gym friends had a birthday party at one of those places where they do the girls hair and make-up. I had to force her to get her hair and make-up done. Then she wouldn't let me wash her hair for 3 days because she loved it so much. It has gotten better with age.

    I personally don't care about her competing right now at all. The coaches are talking about doing some invitationals in the spring and I'm trying to decide rather to let her go or not. I don't want to make her, but I feel like she'd probably really have fun.
  9. gymnut1

    gymnut1 Guest

    I think hearing how she is with other 'new' experiences (I had one abit like that too) she will need a little push and then love it. Probably the earlier she competes the better really. Get ready to wear your 'thick' skin incase she cries all the way through and other parents make remarks about how cruel you are. lol. You know she will proabably sleep in the leo for days after and you will be subjected to weeks of her showing you exactly what she did on each piece and inbetween each piece and warming up and sitting for awards etc.
  10. mumoftwogymnasts

    mumoftwogymnasts Member Proud Parent

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    This sounds just like my ds. From the time he was a toddler he hated to try new things. He was the child that spent the whole morning at the playground sitting on my knee as I chatted to my friends, while their toddlers played on the slide. At birthday parties he would sit beside me. He has improved with age (he is now ten) but he still likes to totally check the situation out before joining in.

    We have talked a lot about how doing things for the first time will always feel a bit scary to everyone, that it is normal to be nervous and unsure... but if he can manage to push through this and actually have a go, he will often have fun and enjoy what he is doing. I always stressed the sense of achievement he should feel for just trying something.

    His first gym comp he was very nervous, we told him to just get through this one competition, if he totally hated it, well then he would never need to compete again. He competed, told me at the end of the day "it was ok, it was just gymnastics , just like I do every week"... and of course now loves competing.

    I guess you can only try a comp and see what happens, good luck :)
    Last edited: Sep 5, 2010
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