WAG Should I "keep it real"?

[SignHere]

Cbone, they way I look at it, you really do have 3 choices. 1. Forget the comment, 2. Get even with EVIL gym mom who insulted your DD 3. Pull EGM aside and say, "hey, when we first moved DD to this gym, you said comment X to me about my DD. I found that incredibly insulting, and I just need to clear the air if we are going to work together." Give her the opportunity to apologize.

I was in a similar situation, I tried option #1, then #2. then EGM confronted ME!!!! And I was in the Wrong! Well, That stunk! I finally had to come clean about my feelings being hurt about what she said first.

 

[Deleted member D3987]

let it go. stupid is as stupid does. and still immerse yourself in helping the gym. they and your daughter will 'appreciate' it down the road. and you never know, the other mom could be gone down the road.

 

[NotAMom]

This is only the beginning of gym drama and bitterness (same with any other sport or activity). If you can't get over it at your daughter's current level, you really have a long road ahead of you. Many of us have seen it, felt it and dealt with it. I suggest to move on while not stopping your involvement.

 

[ALgymMom]

Most men don't get involved in drama lol

 

[profmom]

It's a long way to go, and no one knows where any individual child will be at mile 5, 10, 15, 22 of this marathon. Last year, I was the owner and operator of the slowest/least skilled child and the fastest/most skilled child in their respective practice groups. The same may be true in two years with the children reversed. Any parent whose child stays in long enough will get served a large helping of humble pie at some point, and I think that at a good gym, any parent whose child can stick it out through the rough part of the road will have a chance to cheer.

Over the years I've seen some parents who were very invested in who was placing where and getting which skills faster than others, even to the point of fretting over rotation orders. I'd like to say that this diminishes over time, but I was just talking to the mother of a L8 over the weekend who said there's still a good bit of that carp going on in her daughter's practice group. My feeling is that I feel better about myself and my own children if I practice what I preach to them -- it's all about their own progress on their own time line, and any time anyone makes a new skill, it's a good thing for the whole team. And trust me, it's a whole lot easier for the gymboys and gymgirls if they feel like they're all in this together and they support each other through the rough patches, whoever might be in one at any given moment.

Think of it this way. Long-term stays in this sport give our kids the unusual opportunity to learn to be both great winners and losers, because no one's going to rock every meet and no one's going to stink up every meet. If I do everything I can to walk away from the pettiness and cheer wholeheartedly for EVERY gymnast on EVERY skill, I'm a better parent and my children are better teammates.

Cbone, can you find it in yourself to empathize with the mom whose daughter is struggling with her kip? If you can, I guarantee you 100% you will appreciate the payback when it's your daughter's turn to struggle.

 

[kayjaybe]

I get the frustration and it IS hard to forget about these things when it involves your baby. But, I agree with the others that to bring up something from 2 years ago is not going to be productive.

That said, if this mom is still making negative comments, it would be worth it to talk to the gym owner or HC because that can really hurt morale. The last thing the gym needs is a negative Nellie who is also the booster club president!

 

[wallinbl]

Most men don't get involved in drama lol

We don't get all gossipy about it, but we do secretly plot to crush those who cross us.

 

[Gymdad2]

So why didn't you or DW rin for BC president?

 

[cbone]

Gd2, neither of us ran because neither of us want the title. My philosophy is- give me a job, not a title. My wife and I went above and beyond last year. For example, we made 300 cake pops and ten other pans of baked goods for our in-house meet, secured a significant amount of donations, arranged fund-raisers, stepped in to head a meet committee when the original head had to step down and much more. Our only request was that we not be personally recognized for our efforts. I feel like the reward for running for the board is having a lofty title. I'd rather get things done behind the scenes and without recognition. It's about the satisfaction of doing a good job for the girls on our team.

I'm not upset that this person is President- she desperately wanted the position and she can have it. I'm concerned with personal issues that will make it tougher for me to want to work with her as a leader.

ALgM- "drama" is what happens when it becomes an outward issue. What I have is a problem or a concern. One that (knowing who I am) will make working with this person as a team leader very difficult.

 

[Jenny]

Cbone, can you find it in yourself to empathize with the mom whose daughter is struggling with her kip? If you can, I guarantee you 100% you will appreciate the payback when it's your daughter's turn to struggle.

This is the best piece of advice given so far.

 

[MeetDirector]

cbone -
As someone said in reply, this is just the beginning of this kind of behavior. This is a test for you - how you handle it will determine your peace of mind into the future of your dd's career in this crazy sport. Let it go; chalk it up to the other person's insecurity back then. She knows that your dd has supassed hers; she doesn't need to be reminded. Clearly, you are a bigger person than this mom. As for being less involved in the booster club, I say do what is expected of all of the parents. Then, if you have energy left over find another way to use that energy at the gym. You are, after all, supporting your daughter and there are probably other ways to be involved at the gym beyond the booster club. Hey, maybe you could become the meet director for those in-house meets . Do that and you could find yourself telling the evil mom what to do rather than the other way around.

Good Luck.

 

[emorymom]

She won't remember saying it so let it go. It's been too long. But if you overhear her saying anything negative again, or she says something negative to you, either stand up to her then or report it to the hc/owner.

 

[mommyof1]

There is no way that confronting this mom will have a positive result for you. If you are hoping that the mom will apologize and laugh with you about how wrong she was and how much better your daughter is than her daughter, that is never going to happen. It will just make the other parents think you are a crazy gym dad. Instead, how about ignoring the mom and cheering for the kid who is working on her kip?

 

[cbone]

Meet Director, you said "chalk it up". I LOLed. All kidding aside, it was great advice. Thank you for it.

mommyof1, I cheer for the daughter. Despite my MANY weaknesses, one strength I think I have is that I'm great with kids. I've talked to the girl and encouraged her at the gym. I really love the girls and have become the unofficial jungle gym after practice is over. My issue isn't wanting the girl to fail, it's about the mom.

You are right. What I really want, if I'm being really honest with myself, is for her to say, "I was wrong about your daughter. She's doing great and I never should have said that." I'm never going to get that. I'm also not going to be able to do a half-done job and feel okay about it. I'm just going to have to suck it up.

profmom- can I do that? Yes. My daughter had some real struggles with her front mill circle in Level 3. It is frustrating knowing that you can't help them get it and it's even worse when other girls make it look so effortless. I empathize with her, I just don't understand the need to make snide comments about other kids- especially to the child's parent.

 

[GymBee97]

I would just move on and let it go but if the remark like this were made again I wouldn't hesitate to address it when it happens. There are parents out there that very freely offer those types of remarks on a regular basis and don't think anything of it. In the end you have to ask yourself when you give your time or what ever who do you help? Your own child of course. so I have found the more active I am in things like the boosters or volunteering my time the better the program etc is for my child. Now I just ignore "those" parents and chalk it up to a jealous parent or an ignorant parent. I only listen to my child's coach and when a parent makes those comments after the first time I have no issue letting them know I don't appreciate their feed back.