For Parents That lady you hate on Twitter

[JBS]

Just something for everyone to read (you have to click on it so you can read all of it... there is much more)...

 

[skschlag]

It is so sad that this is played out in so many places. It is so sickening.

 

[cmg]

I get how this can happen and we all would like to think that we would pull our kid out of a terrible situation if we were faced with it. The Lady You Hate did a good job of explaining how things creep up, but I have to say that given some of the injuries that occurred I would hope that I would not give that gym another chance, but I don't know because I have not had to face this situation. I think USA Gymnastics needs to do a major revamping of how to develop good coaches, coaching technique, and teaching coaches how to be more of a mentor than a drill Sargent, but also teaching the necessary skills. It appears that many of the elites get there by surviving horrible coaching situations. Hopefully enough parents realize there are better ways for their child to get to elite status without abuse and excessive injuries. Often there are not that many choices where you live to find the perfect gym, and I guess there are not that many perfect gyms out there.

 

[Tigtimes]

The entire culture needs to change top to bottom. I saw a YouTube plugging some NFL guys kid at WCC where they, coaches and parents, proudly say she is doing 2 a days for 34 hours a week at the gym. The child is 10. 10 years old and it is shoved out there like a badge of pride. That is not a sport that is a full time job for a TEN year old. Come on people Tell me how things will change when talented children are praised and put on platforms at such a young age doing ridiculous amount of hours. It is happening in all youth sports.

There will always be those coaches sadly and the parents that support it so the cycle will continue. I guarantee Maggie Haney will reappear after her suspension with a team in toe that is practicing with her right now. From where I sit I don’t see the change happening cause again there will always be parents that support these cultures. Parents that accept stupid rules (I could list the ones from a gym near us where parents have flocked cause they ”win”) cause that’s what it “takes”. As I have said numerous times before until the parent culture changes as well this is a never ending cycle.

 

[MuggleMom]

The culture of youth sports in America is becoming disturbing and its been tied into this idea of the "American dream". I will admit I am guilty of buying to it at times but sports is no longer a hobby, a fun activity, or a means of exercise for so many athletes now. It is your future all on the line at the ripe old age of 8-10. It's some families idea of a college savings plan (this scares me). Its also some families plan for a path out of poverty. That is unfair pressure to put on a child and leaves parents and kids ripe for abusive situations.

There is a guy at my daughters gym that says that this is his plan to pay for his daughters college. I said have you sat down and done the math on how much money it takes to get a gymnast to the level needed to compete (not guarantee but just compete) for a D1 scholarship...he said nope. Well ladies and gents I did that once cause I am an excel nerd. It is EASILY six figures to get your gymnast to a level to compete for a D1 full ride and that is by no means a guarantee of success. If you are really doing this to pay for college pull them out of sports and sink $400+ a month (and meet and travel and leo fees) into a money market account.

We do it because we are lucky enough to be able to afford to and the older I get the more I understand what a privilege that is; sports is quickly becoming priced out availability for so many families especially with the slow death of rec sports.

 

[ReluctantGymMom]

I read this yesterday and sent it to two of my friends who moved gyms at the same time as us - because this is word for word what happened to us and our kids, right down to being shunned by other parents and kids. But they’re one of the “safe” gyms in our city - optionals from gyms over an hour away flock there because of how much nicer the coaches are. It’s... incredibly messed up

 

[Gymnastmomma2010]

The entire culture needs to change top to bottom. I saw a YouTube plugging some NFL guys kid at WCC where they, coaches and parents, proudly say she is doing 2 a days for 34 hours a week at the gym. The child is 10. 10 years old and it is shoved out there like a badge of pride. That is not a sport that is a full time job for a TEN year old. Come on people Tell me how things will change when talented children are praised and put on platforms at such a young age doing ridiculous amount of hours. It is happening in all youth sports.

There will always be those coaches sadly and the parents that support it so the cycle will continue. I guarantee Maggie Haney will reappear after her suspension with a team in toe that is practicing with her right now. From where I sit I don’t see the change happening cause again there will always be parents that support these cultures. Parents that accept stupid rules (I could list the ones from a gym near us where parents have flocked cause they ”win”) cause that’s what it “takes”. As I have said numerous times before until the parent culture changes as well this is a never ending cycle.

Im pretty sure i know which video your talking about. The mother posted it proudly in a fb group.

I 100% agree with you. I removed my DD from a gym a couple years ago where she was being bullied by teammates, and the coaches would do nothing about it. I ended up finding out after I pulled her out, there was things going on with the coaches that makes me think the girls learned the bully behavior from the coaches. We thankfully where only there for 6 months. But I actually interacted with a mother shortly after we left. I told her what we experienced and the things my daughter had told me since we left. This mom basically told me I was just a gym hopper, I'll always find an issue, and I really shouldn't be bad mouthing this gym, because they send girls to college, so obviously they know what they are doing lol. As long as this kind of thought process is still happening, things will be hard to change.

 

[Flicfliclay]

The entire culture needs to change top to bottom. I saw a YouTube plugging some NFL guys kid at WCC where they, coaches and parents, proudly say she is doing 2 a days for 34 hours a week at the gym. The child is 10. 10 years old and it is shoved out there like a badge of pride. That is not a sport that is a full time job for a TEN year old. Come on people Tell me how things will change when talented children are praised and put on platforms at such a young age doing ridiculous amount of hours. It is happening in all youth sports.

There will always be those coaches sadly and the parents that support it so the cycle will continue. I guarantee Maggie Haney will reappear after her suspension with a team in toe that is practicing with her right now. From where I sit I don’t see the change happening cause again there will always be parents that support these cultures. Parents that accept stupid rules (I could list the ones from a gym near us where parents have flocked cause they ”win”) cause that’s what it “takes”. As I have said numerous times before until the parent culture changes as well this is a never ending cycle.

I saw this post on FB yesterday. I think maybe 1 parent spoke up and said something in regards to the hours.. The rest ( which were a lot ) of others parents said how wonderful and awesome she was. Not that she isn't wonderful or awesome, but it's things like this that confuse parents of kids just starting out in the sport. I refrained from commenting because it would just look like I was attacking and honestly there is no way that that parent would have cared. Look at Chandler King, she went there too right? Guess what? She was a "phenom" and she no longer does gymnastics!

 

[Flippin'A]

I saw it too. I know that series exists to showcase kids who are doing the most extreme versions of their sports, but it really does put out a damaging idea of what success looks like for a 10 year old. I especially hate the titles they give those things. It's always something like "future Olympian," or "Next Simone Biles." Homeschooling at six and 2-a-days at 10 doesn't make someone an Olympian. A kid in a million, maybe, but for most it's just a recipe for injuries and burn out.

 

[3cats]

That whole tweet thread was very similar to my daughter's experience with her artistic gymnastics facility. Even getting dropped? pushed? off the bars during a spot. I confronted the coach and was maybe apologized to? Maybe I was just brushed aside. It was the beginning of the end for my daughter. She left the sport a few months later. She left to a T&T gym that is very supportive and there are no mean coaches. I'm glad she found a safe space.

But it was a spot on assessment of how deep you get before you realize something is wrong. I could have written it.

 

[duyetanh]

I saw this post on FB yesterday. I think maybe 1 parent spoke up and said something in regards to the hours.. The rest ( which were a lot ) of others parents said how wonderful and awesome she was. Not that she isn't wonderful or awesome, but it's things like this that confuse parents of kids just starting out in the sport. I refrained from commenting because it would just look like I was attacking and honestly there is no way that that parent would have cared. Look at Chandler King, she went there too right? Guess what? She was a "phenom" and she no longer does gymnastics!

Wait a minute. Chandler King no longer does gymnastics?
What rock have I been hiding under.....

 

[Flicfliclay]

Wait a minute. Chandler King no longer does gymnastics?
What rock have I been hiding under.....

No, i believe she quit after last season..

 

[Irishgymnast1418]

No, i believe she quit after last season..

And she did how many interviews, TV appearances all marketing her as the next Simone, future Olympian etc before she even did level 9! It doesn’t matter how good they are at 10 if they’ll be burnt out by 13.

I saw the video of the other kid at WCC, 34 hours at 10 is absurd! And the parents just going along with it! I don’t know why people put all their hopes on a 10 year old kid being the 1 in a million on that Olympic team! Her mom mentioned she’s been at WCC for over two years, since she was 8!! So they moved from NJ to TX for an 8 year olds gym career? Insane! And all this was before MG Elite came crashing down, so there were 2 gyms in NJ with Elites, why go to Texas?

 

[QuietColours]

Something I noted with that video was it was the parents talking about needing to be with the best elite coaches and whatnot. When the interviewer specifically asked the gymnast what her goal was, she said college gymnastics with a specific team.

 

[Tigtimes]

It is also the gyms fault. It is the combination of the parent and gym. WCC should not be allowing a 10 year old to do 34 hours. They have a responsibility as well. But never forget Gyms are a business and your kid is their currency ......

 

[Irishgymnast1418]

Totally agree that the gym shouldn’t have her in 34 hours a week. Doesn’t Simone do about 32 as well? So she’s 10 and training more than Simone herself

 

[duyetanh]

No, i believe she quit after last season..

Ok, that is a wow. I really don't follow all this for the most part, but we did know about her, because we competed against her team at a meet. And we did watch the video. That child was unbelievably strong and I am sure she still is. I hope she is successful with whatever she chooses to do, and wish her the best.

 

[doublestrike]

Her dad's a former NFL player and older sister is a level 10, so athletics is probably a priority in their life,nor is moving around a big deal after retirement from football. He's famous for having 14 kids. TX is a great place to raise gymnasts and footballers.

 

[duyetanh]

Her dad's a former NFL player and older sister is a level 10, so athletics is probably a priority in their life,nor is moving around a big deal after retirement from football. He's famous for having 14 kids. TX is a great place to raise gymnasts and footballers.

omg 14 kids....I am dying over here with one. Wow. Is her older sister a level 10 at WCC? She is not even mentioned in the story!

 

[JBS]

Here is the interesting post...

Want to know one of the most toxic things that can happen in a gym? When the parent that is talked about above... is also the parent that is below...

When you have a parent or two that have ALL of the information. They are the de facto gym parents... everyone listens to them. The issue... they are not in it for the good of the team... or your child... they are in if for their child. Their child... the future Olympian of the world. This is a major issue in many gyms.

READ MY WORDS...

Coaches learn very quickly how to control these "de facto gym parents". Since everyone listens to them... there is much power there.

On the other side of it... these "de facto gym parents" learn very quickly how to control the coaches.

The coach and de facto board the ride together... in the same row together... the last row... the de facto and coach watch as the team slowly clicks to the the top. As the cars creep slowly over the top... a few of the gymnasts in the front cars realize that this journey is just too much for them... they want to get off. The ride screams down the hill and into the corner. Before anyone realizes what has happened... the smallest most talented gymnast is thrown from the ride as she was just too small for the harness. It's really not a big deal though... because from the back row where the coach and de facto are viewing from... there is still a whole train of team athletes ahead of them that are screaming and having the time of their life.

As the ride pulls back into the station... small and talented gymnast #2 is so thankful that she sat next to creeper coach #1 in the middle of the train where the ride is the smoothest. Creeper coach #1 held on to her the whole ride... he saved her.

As a team... they have successfully endured this battle with the loss of only one tiny athlete. "This will make the team stronger"... the coach declares.

Meanwhile... phones are ringing... texts are flying...

Not to worry though... de facto takes care of it all... after all... her/his child is talented gymnast #2... oh wait... talented gymnast #2 just became #1.

THE POINT IS...

This team is now controlled by nobody. Everyone is using everyone else to get what they want. Game over. Eventually... the entire team will be thrown from the roller coaster.