Parents 3 Year Old Loves Gymnastics - When does "play" end and "training" begin?

[notthatmom]

Hi everyone, original poster here. Thanks for all the responses.

I know my post was long winded, and it boils down to this... Does it really matter what kind of form a 3 year old has? My wife admonished me for asking my daughter to try a harmless little twirl on a balance beam that was 6 inches high, on the grounds that she was a gymnast when she was a child. I thought it was an unnecessarily strict way to think. Because I know nothing about gymnastics, I went to this forum to do a little investigating of my own. My wife questions me on medical issues, and I am a medical doctor. I am OK with that. Healthy skepticism has a place, so we don't just accept everything that is told to us because it was said by an authority on the subject. Knowledge is an evolving thing... Something that was true 20 years ago may not be true now. Questioning things leads to new discoveries. That applies to medicine and gymnastics and LIFE.

So those of you who said, "Your wife is right" without explaining why, or alluded to my questioning of her opinion as a problem with my marriage, you missed the point of the discussion.

My 3 year old daughter loves gymnastics. Whether she actually gets into it as a sport is unknown. She may decide in 1 month that she doesn't care for it at all. As people have said, for a 3 year old, it just needs to be fun. Formal training can come if she actually retains her interest and wants to pursue the sport. How can a 3 year old have ruined form from just playing around? As a doctor, I see injuries all the time, so I don't allow my daughter to do things that are overtly dangerous. When the danger level increases (e.g., when the balance beam is high in the air), I absolutely understand the importance of proper form.

You asked us a question and you're not happy with he answer.

You have no idea what is "harmless" and what isn't. Your wife does....it's not that difficult to understand.

The safety of gymnastics hasn't changed in 20 years...humans don't magically have stronger bones than they did before. The basics of gymnastics haven't changed either. You wouldn't throw a child into the deep end of the pool who hasn't dipped their feet into the shallow end yet would you?

Learning gymnastics is the same way.

Sorry you didn't like what you heard, but you asked questions and we answered.

 

[sce]

I feel like a lot of people did explain why it was not a good idea. First, I will say that your wife's reaction might have been a bit extreme considering it was once. She could have calmly explained how free discovery is better at this age and skills, even "twirls", should be left for later. Let your dd have fun and explore at gymnastics without direction from you. She does not need to feel like she should be able to do more yet. Walking on a low beam is a big skill for a 3yo, don't minimize that by asking for more.

 

[Muah]

You asked us a question and you're not happy with he answer.

You have no idea what is "harmless" and what isn't. Your wife does....it's not that difficult to understand.

The safety of gymnastics hasn't changed in 20 years...humans don't magically have stronger bones than they did before. The basics of gymnastics haven't changed either. You wouldn't throw a child into the deep end of the pool who hasn't dipped their feet into the shallow end yet would you?

Learning gymnastics is the same way.

Sorry you didn't like what you heard, but you asked questions and we answered.

Again, this is not the point of this discussion. My original question was too broad, so I posted a clarification to my questions. However, with that broad original question, I got a lot of very thoughtful and objective responses. I greatly appreciated that, and if my daughter actually gets into the sport, I will take that advice to heart.

A lot of that doesn't matter (yet) for a 3 year old just playing around. My daughter is not doing formal gymnastics. I did not ask her to try a twirl because I felt she was not good enough, or because I wanted to push her to do more advanced skills. It was to try something fun in a very safe environment (remember, 6 inches off the ground, plenty of padding). She's actually zipping across the balance beam much faster than the other kids, and I thought it would be FUN to try something different.

A lot of people agreed with the idea of just letting her have fun. I am quite "happy" these answers!

"The first rule of gymnastics is for it to be fun. Gymnastics is better that way. At 3 years old just let her have fun. No need to get serious too fast or have someone live vicariously threw her. You don't want her to get burned out"

"If the child has only "Recreational" (non team) intention, then form beyond proper safety is not so important. But if your child aims to compete, the execution of the skill is the important part, not the skill itself. Per your specific question about playing around on a low beam at age 3? Probably not much issue there if safely matted unless she continues to practice the 'bad turn' over and over and over again in the same manner for weeks and months on end to make a habit. Unlikely. And that is only bad IF she becomes a team gymnast. Otherwise, who cares if she has a funky turn"

"So to sum that dissertation above, let her play. Do her funky turns. If she moves into a pre-team in a year or two or three, then the coach can work actual turning form."

"Regardless, let the 3 year old play, have fun and try a twirl. Sometimes I want to run around the gym and try it too!"

Notthatmom: I am not looking for validation and approval of my position. And most certainly, I am not looking for judgment. Your statement that I have no idea what is "harmless" is quite judgmental. Remember that I am a doctor. In fact, I am a surgeon who fixes broken bones and other injuries from actions that would be considered harmful. I have a deep knowledge of the human body and its physiology. That's why I don't put my 3-year old in the deep end of the pool, just as I don't ask her to do a twirl on a balance beam that is 4 feet off the ground. I am not a person who encourages my child to do things that could lead to an injury.

 

[GYM0M]

I'll try to answer this as I think I know what you're asking and maybe the angle your wife is coming from:
Does it matter? Yes, in the sense that there are some skills that are appropriate for 3 year olds and some that are not.
Does it matter SOOO much that if she does princess twirls on the beam that she will pick up bad habits that will eventually prevent her from progressing in the sport? No, more than likely not.
Could she have gotten hurt? Eh, probably no more than what could have happened on the playground at school, aside from freak accidents.
However, so much of gymnastics is about perfection. Having skills just perfect before moving forward as the skills build as they get older. As you are a dr, I'm sure you understand this. What you might not realize though is a child who progresses too quickly, even if safely, often suffers in terms of technique. The CHILD does not realize this and just wants to do the harder tricks and stunts. Keep repeating in the 'too' quickly pattern and eventually the harder stuff will not be safe for the gymnast. Bad form often leads to bad/worse injuries.
I can see your wife's POV, too. A) She may have saw something in your eyes or voice that was the proverbial 'showboating.' No worries, if you did, I've had that glimmer a time or two myself. But she knows that if your daughter is to pursue a career in gymnastics, it HAS to be HER sport. Your DD won't get very far if she's just doing gymnastics to please you or her mom. SHE has to love it. B) Your wife is trying to prevent setting the precedent of 'self (or parent) taught' gymnastics. Your wife has a leg up on most of us parents here bc we did not learn gymnastics so most parents (sorry, but this includes you) have no business encouraging, leading, much less teaching gymnastics. Do I think you were wrong? No, just new. Again, in the grand scheme of things, you didn't hurt your DD nor her theoretical future gymnastics career, but it's about precedent. Today, a tiny twirl on a balance beam....tomorrow, how about a full set of bars for the basement....(See?) C) Your wife may see talent in your 3 year old that she doesn't want to exploit and or rush. Truly successful gymnasts have more passion for the process as opposed to the skills.
No one can really predict future talent in 3 year olds, no one can predict the future period. The best we can do is provide the best opportunities for our kids to succeed in anything they may want to do.
To settle the dispute (which may or may not be too strong of a word) were you wrong in suggesting something fun for your 3 year old? No, but kinda yeah. Was she wrong for suggesting that this could in some way prove detrimental to your dd's gymnastics career? Yes, but not really.....hope that helps, lol!
Kind of off topic, but if your DD wants to do 'more', you can never go wrong with toe pointing, unless, of course, you show her the wrong way.....Ha!