Parents 7 year old wants to quit - Looking for advice

[hope shantz]

I would say let her do what she wants, I've sometimes felt like that but then during breaks, I realize how much I miss it. I think at her level/age she should choose what she wants. Because she's not even in middle school yet she can't do sports with her middle school, I'm in seventh and when I was her age I never thought I liked volleyball but I really enjoy it now.

 

[Geoffrey Taucer]

I'm in seventh and when I was her age I never thought I liked volleyball but I really enjoy it now.

Seventh meaning seventh grade?

 

[Dad1234]

My eight year old sometimes gives me push back about practice on the weekends. She thinks she is going to miss out on family fun or she would rather just lay around and watch YouTube. I allow her to miss practice up to 2x’s a month on the weekends, when she chooses. Sometimes, she takes advantage of that and other times she goes every weekend. Around age 7, I really started to let her decide if gymnastics practice is how she wants to spend her time. It’s her childhood and she only gets one childhood. It’s also time away from her family. If she prefers to have more free time for friends, family, or another sport/activity, I will allow her to quit at the end of the season or as far out as I have paid meet fees. I check with her frequently to make sure she wants to continue to spend so much time in the gym. It’s too much money and too much time driving to practices/meets if she doesn’t love it. If/when she quits, I know she will easily excel at another sport due to her gymnastics background.

 

[twistymstwistface]

If it was my child I would encourage to continue for a few months - maybe allowing to miss say if she had 4 sessions a week to miss one or two a week and then if at the end of that time she either liked the lesser hours or still really doesnt want to go then I would know to either let her quite or move to a less hours demanding squad/group.

I am always a bit sad my parents let me quit ballet at my first request, they didnt know but i didnt want to go for a bit as i felt fat compared to the other girls not that i didnt enjoy it but i'd never tell me parents that even if they asked at that age. I so now i'm left with what could have been if they just encouraged me more through a hump when i had a wobble rather than letting me quit when i was pretty good for my age etc.

 

[AmyC]

We have gone through this a few times. First, about where you are. If I paid for the season, we're going to try to make it. However, if she hates it, then figure out why, and if it's reasonable, then let her.

Second, it was a hip injury. She almost didn't come back. Shy cause of a scar and had to catch up allot. But she went back and did the work. She stayed.

Third time, more recently, it was a coach thing. She wanted to move gyms, but I've paid the monies, have the expensive uniforms, etc. I nearly let her quit, and did inquire of another gym, but she ended up resolving it with the coach, with my help, and falling on my sword to do so, but some confidence coaching as well as how to talk to adults, more suck up and fall on your own sword, fixed it.

This is complicated and it's multi factorial. I do believe that the relationships made and the commitment skills learned and the perseverance skills are useful throughout a lifetime.

However, It's you and her. You can't make her do this. If you MAKE her, she's going to get injured cause her heart isn't in it. We don't want that. Try to bridge it and see if the team mates can get her back into it, and if not, allow her to step back. Sometimes a break will do it, but if her heart isn't in it, you can't make it happen. You have to let her let it go. That's my opinion anyway.

I agree with this statement. Was waiting for someone else to say it. I've gone throught this twice with my daughter. Both times it wasn't because she didn't want to do it anymore, it was because she felt like she wasn't strong enough and wasn't getting the skills fast enough. So every time she had a break at Christmas or a two week break in the summer or grow she would lose strength for a bit and it would make her want to quit. It's their decision if they want to do this because it is a very challenging sport from all angles. I finally asked her what she really wanted to do and why she didn't think she was able to do it. Than I helped her solve the problem. We built up her strength so that when she had time off it didn't completely derail her progress. Each kid has their own reasons. We just have to be ready to listen.

 

[kris]

My middle girl loved gymnastics, couldn’t get enough! She was a middle of the pack gymnast, going up one level per year, but always middle of the pack score wise. She had a string of injuries while and after growing 6” in a matter of months, and left soon after and found a lot of things she loved even more than gym, but gym was her childhood home and helped make her who she is even now in college.

My youngest was a more “natural” gymnast. She was allowed to be on the team without attending all the practices her first year because they really wanted her, but she also wanted to dance and play soccer. She placed first in her age group (6yo) in her first real meet and on the way home told us this wasn’t the sport for her. We let her quit at the end of that season. Coaches weren’t happy, but knowing how quickly things get serious, we knew if she was already on the fence, she was right, and it wasn't the sport for her.

I agree with the others that say let her take a break, try other things, just be little. At her age she can go back (maybe not to the same gym if it’s the kind where if you’re 8 you’re too old for team, but back to gymnastics) if she misses it down the road.

 

[WV Gym Mom]

I know this is an older thread, but any 7yr old spending 12 hours a week (plus travel, etc) on any one thing can cause burnout. That is a huge amount of time. My gym's level 3s do eight hours a week and they rocked their season this year (1st place team at State to cap it off) - and most of them are 8 and 9. Add in school and gym and sleep and there really isn't much left in their day for anything. Anyway of finding a gym that has less hours? Or taking a solid couple weeks off for vacation to reset and she how she feels after?

 

[Deleted member 27393]

What About Recreational Gymnastics?

 

[Em09]

Definitely, definitely let her do what she wants. She's young, and their are other things she might want to try or do. When she's so young, she can always go back if she wants to later.

 

[caitydid]

I searched but most posts were about older kids.
My daughter is 7, started on the team at 6. We had no idea about gymnastics and especially team but she was invited to be on the team so we decided to try it. She seems happy at the gym, is friends with all the girls, does handstands and cartwheels at home constantly but when she has time off school, like summer or Thanksgiving break, she says she wants to quit. She gets to hang out with her neighborhood friends more and it's more fun than the gym.
She's level 3 and practices 12 hrs per week at a competitive gym. I think 2 of her teammates have moved up to level 4 but they all still practice together. My wife talked to her coach about her wanting to quit and she said a lot of kids her age go through that. She begged us to keep her on team because she has skills to be really good. I'm conflicted about making her do something she's good at (I wish my parents would have pushed me more when I was younger) and not forcing her to do something she isn't 100% into.

How many of you had your kids wanting to quit that young? Was it just a phase?
What age would you let them make the decision?
Looking for some advice.

Following for advice. My daughter loves gymnastics and is always excited to go until summer, when practices change to daytime work outs and she misses out on summer camps, swimming and time swimming with friends.

 

[Deleted member 18037]

Following for advice. My daughter loves gymnastics and is always excited to go until summer, when practices change to daytime work outs and she misses out on summer camps, swimming and time swimming with friends.

The whole summer doesn’t have to be gymnastics. Mine will have a weeks vacation and be doing at least a week of lacrosse camp. And she won’t practice 5 day a week either. We also have the option of half or full day at gym. That will be driven by all our schedules. When she was younger she did 5 days in the summer, but that was because it worked from a child care standpoint. And even then I made sure there was down time for just kid stuff, like swimmin, running around the neighborhood and other non gymnastics adventures.