This thread has taken an interesting course...not exactly where I thought it would go, but still relevant.
A few thoughts...
While random schedule changes are frustrating, we've come to accept them as part of the industry/sport, more so as the kids progress to higher levels, and especially as spring break is often in the run up to optional state and regional's post-season meets. As you've seen with meets, there are challenges publishing the schedule much more than a couple weeks before the event. Opportunities/schedules for coaches, meets, etc. can be hard to predict so flexibility on everyone's part helps a lot. Remember that many coaches coach more than just your kid's team in the gym. So that's our expectation today, and while inconvenient, no longer a surprise when it happens and we don't get too bent out of shape.
On the topic of Saturday practices, one of my daughters had Sat practice from L5 on up in a 12-16 hr/wk program. The other one had no Sat practice with a 20 hr/wk program covering all optionals, but then we moved, and at L9 had Sat (and 2x/day 2x/wk). All I'll say is more hours usually = more skill development, but that is an entirely different conversation.
Rec v. team emphasis, my observation: this is a symbiotic relationship--a strong team attracts kids to the rec program, with goals to make team. At the same time, a strong rec program is necessary to financially support the team. Don't fool yourself--this is a financial pyramid, not just from rec to team, but also from L3 to L10. Those gyms that don't subscribe to this are challenged to attract or pay sufficient top-level team coaches and remain viable--unless team parents are willing and able to foot the entire bill.
To my original post, my rant was based more with gym management that brought in a less than competent coach. This coach set back several optional level girls simply because they were beyond the coach's ability. This coach took girls who consistently scored 9.5s and 9.6s in years before into 8.9s and 9.0s. From taking first thru third in events and AA to outside the top 10. Remember, this is an Optional level coach. And a few girls were repeating their level, too. How do you do that? Gym management was arrogant enough to believe (and preach) that their top team coaches would trickle down coaching technique and skills to this new coach. Clearly, this did not happen. Worse yet, gym management blamed the athletes for their falling scores, saying they didn't work hard enough, weren't receptive to coaching, weren't great athletes, etc. Yet this was never commented upon in prior years. It should be pretty obvious what happened when those girls left for other gyms.
As to how coaches talk to their athletes, this is a tough one. Here's the reality I've seen: coaches need to earn their athlete's respect, even at the young ages of our daughters. Some try nice, some are mean, but at the optional levels, most of our daughters are smart enough to know when a coach knows their stuff. My daughter had an absolutely horrid coach in terms of personality and niceness...but her meet results were like never before with that coach and my daughter respected her coaching ability. In contrast, she also had the "nice" coach that couldn't offer a valid correction to help with scores--the base skills were there (from a prior coach), but the nice coach just couldn't fine tune for the last 3 or 4 tenths. And no, this wasn't an athlete issue, because a substitute coach (while her own coach was off to a different level's out of town meet) got that fixed in one week for the next meet. Oh, on that respect issue: daughter did not show her own coach what she learned during warmup, but executed it to her season best score during the meet.
Sadly, this does lead to badmouthing coaches (and gym management) outside the gym. And not just by parents--remember what I said about our kids being smart? I'm not saying it's right, but it happens.
Gym owners and coaches...you are so deeply involved with your athlete's lives that you can NOT ignore changes in their behavior, their comments, etc. Example: the girl who used to be 30 minutes early for every practice who is now showing up a minute before practice starts...find out why. Or don't and watch her leave your program.