Parents Advice needed

[MAcastsalot]

@sce we do go to nearby playgrounds on sunny days (which is thankfully quite frequent lately). Unfortunately, we had an extremely rough winter (that lasted until April), so for about 4-5 months out of the last year, we couldn't really be outside without full winter gear, and the younger ones just can't last outside in the snow for that long. There aren't any libraries or other indoor free spaces close to the gym, either.

 

[duyetanh]

I totally get this...my kid's gym is seriously in b.f.e....so I go workout by running, I bring work, I bring books, and I bring my laptop and at times go to this forum, lol, all the while with my headphones plugged in. With no music on. Heh heh.

 

[Deleted member D3987]

and i was called a curmudgeon and a bad coach and a bad dad when i stated years ago that it was not conducive to the kids for the parents to stay and watch practice.

 

[munchkin3]

My DD always ASKS me to leave. She just feels it's the 'right' way.....the waiting room is NOT filled with team parents.....
But if she gets a new skill or something, then she wishes I was there, and I should stay more often!

The parents who are staying can be over involved and nitpicky. Hence, the nasty little hen you are talking about.

 

[profmom]

Yes, Munchkin, and you are supposed to just magically know in advance that THIS is the day that ALL THE AWESOME THINGS will happen on bars, right in the middle of practice. You know. When you were at the grocery store.

 

[mimi]

On the first day at our new gym I overheard a mom cattily talking about "the new girl" in the group (my dd). I decided right then and there that I would be spending no more than five minutes in the waiting room. I've never been one to watch anyway. Now that she is working the bigger skills I have no desire to watch that, often scary-looking, process. Ain't nobody got time for that! Lol

 

[duyetanh]

Wow. Some people just suck. You can't fix stupid, can you...

 

[Avasmom]

I didn't stay today and I came about 10 minutes early to pick up my daughter because I was running an errand. It was lovely and drama free!

 

[purpleleomom]

You encountered a CGM in the wild. They are everywhere! I drop and dash now, but sometimes I show up early for pick up at DD's request to watch for a bit. The parents seem nice enough, but then I'm not there all the time...

 

[GymCMLA]

Library?

 

[Gymmom826]

Let me preface this by saying that my daughter is on xcel bronze. I was at the gym watching my daughter and a parent asked me in front of lots of other parents why my daughter took tumbling in addition to being on team. I responded because she wants her robhs competition ready. Her response was why she can't compete it. I disagreed and said she can if it looks good. I already discussed this with her coach and she gave me the answer of if it looks good then yes she can. The mom responded by saying that that is harder level skills and she would be deducted. I remained quiet because I do not like to argue and obviously she felt she was right. I know nothing about deductions so please fill me in if she is correct.

Then later she pointed out the mistakes my daughter was making while practicing. I didn't even notice because it's practice. Is this a normal gym mom behavior to point out other kids mistakes?

Is it normal for the moms to be cliquish and make other moms feel out of place if they aren't in their clique? If my daughter didn't love it there I would consider leaving based on the behavior of the moms. Maybe I need to be meaner and stand my ground but I shy away from confrontation. Anyone have advice for this situation?

Happens to me all the time. It is annoying when you're ignored and when they are so cliquish but it is what it is. I just try to avoid them. I'm focused on my child and that's it. No one had ever approached me like your situation though. I don't know if I could hold my tongue but it's definitely best to not engage the CGM. Think of your child. You don't want any repercussions for anything you say. Not that it would but just be careful.

 

[duyetanh]

I got the condescending approach with my child. Even now I still get it. And I smile and wave...there is a saying, you can't hang yourself if you don't pick up the rope....

 

[Deleted member 18037]

I make it a point to stay out of the gym as much as possible. As I tell folks I don't need to be anywhere near the crazy bus.

On a side note whatever skill is performed in a meet, will get deductions if not performed well. That is just the way it is.

 

[Muddlethru]

My daughter has been a team member to two gyms. I have to say I've yet to encounter a true CGM. We had a couple borderline CGM in the first gym and a really very likeable but nonetheless borderline CGD (I only think this dad is one because he seems a little too hard on his daughter--i.e., the day his daughter got her cast off her leg, the dad walked her in the gym and told the coach that she should immedistely do her double backs so she does not lose it more. But you'll have to meet and know this dad to know he is truly likeable and perhaps just a little naive) at our current gym. CGMs are out there but for the most part, the parents are very nice and fun people.

My experience however is the coaches we've had are the crazy ones. Former coaches are beyond insane, abusive and cannot be trusted. Current HC is a good man but can be immature and impulsive perhaps because he is young and maybe insecure. He seems to be mellowing out though. Our current beam coach is also in late 20s and VERY childish--talks like she is two years old to the girls. But I also have not been hearing too many complaints lately. So maybe she is maturing too.

 

[duyetanh]

Ok, for those of you who read my comment about the headphones? Tonight this one mom came with her own set, and she said to me, "I brought my own set, so I can ignore you like you ignore me when I am trying to talk to you!" I didn't even hear what she said, because I was listening to Pandora............when I took my ear buds out, she repeated herself and then said unbelievable. I burst out laughing.

 

[profmom]

Most of the crazies will be gone by the time your child is well into optionals, but the tiny handful of crazies who are still left at that point can be, well, pretty darn crazy. They are happily rara avises at my kids' gym on both sides. Every once in a while, I'm hanging out waiting for one of mine to finish and I overhear the L4 moms and a few dads talking very intensely and passionately about who's got a good kip and how beam or rings is going and I just smile to myself. If their kids stay in, they'll figure it out eventually in most cases.

 

[duyetanh]

...and per my post above, don't think I am impolite. I make great small talk. But I have no desire to discuss Rita's roundoff, Francine's front hip circle, Bonnie's backhandspring...

 

[wnl256]

Yah, CGM.

As others have said the best way to avoid the confrontation is to not stay for practice. But as a former avid watcher myself, I find that a difficult compromise to accept. I loved watching the first kip, the first ROBHS, the first giant, the first flyaway, etc, etc. I have video of most of them.

Maybe I never encountered it because I'm a guy and the CGMs just avoided me. Or maybe our gym just doesn't have many. The gym actively discourages team parents from watching practice, going so far as to put blinds up in the windows on the team side of the gym. The staff emphasizes that the viewing area is primarily for the rec parents (and we are reminded that's where the gym makes most of its money). From what I've seen most families with CGMs tend to gym hop anyway, because they can always find fault with anyone no matter where they are. So the good news is, that mom may not be there next year. The bad news is, another one might show up.

If I was watching my DD and encountered someone I didn't know who was rude enough to tell me all the things my daughter was doing wrong, I would probably respond with this: "Well I let her coaches worry about that. Maybe you should discuss it with them!"

As for doing a ROBHS in Xcel, coaches (nearly) always take the long view. They will compete a skill now, even if it means the score won't be as good, if perfecting that skill will pay off in a few years.

 

[wnl256]

Ok, for those of you who read my comment about the headphones? Tonight this one mom came with her own set, and she said to me, "I brought my own set, so I can ignore you like you ignore me when I am trying to talk to you!"

I have no words.

 

[needcoffee]

Ok, for those of you who read my comment about the headphones? Tonight this one mom came with her own set, and she said to me, "I brought my own set, so I can ignore you like you ignore me when I am trying to talk to you!" I didn't even hear what she said, because I was listening to Pandora............when I took my ear buds out, she repeated herself and then said unbelievable. I burst out laughing.

The hell?? Who says stuff like that??

I can honestly say I don't think we have this type of crazy at our gym. But then again, we have a no spectator policy so no one hangs around. We have one snobby mum who will actively ignore you if you say hello, but luckily she's in the group below, so I don't encounter her much!