WAG Am I thinking too much of this?

[Muddlethru]

I agree with above post. My daughter's current coach says things like that. But all the girls love him. He had the reputation of being mean. Parent's from my daughter's old gym claim to have witnessed him being mean to his gymnasts at meets. Even my youngest daughter whom I enrolled in a rec class over the summer stated she would never want to be in team or go up the levels because this HC was constantly yelling at his gymnasts and making them cry. She could not believe I was letting her older sister go to this gym. Fast forward a year later, my gymnast loves her coach. She will be the first one to say he is not mean.

Everyone will tell you their side of the story; the part of the story they want you to know. And usually, it is to get you to their side. The mother of so and so told you her account of the exchange with the coach. The daughter told her mom her side of the story. It is said there are three sides to a story, your side, the other party's side and the truth. Hearsay and rumors can ruin reputations.

 

[Flossyduck]

I've only just seen this thread. Things are a bit hectic!

Our coaches don't hug. That would look really strange to me and actually I don't think dd would like it - she's in the zone and focused and she has massive respect for her coach and would be a bit freaked if she was all touchy feely on her.

That said, her coach will of course say well done or good girl and high five when she's done something well. They talk quite rationally about how things have gone on a piece and dd knows if it was 'pant's and she's done it better. She's likely to be frustrated with herself and it wouldn't help her to have someone tell it's all ok when she knows it wasn't. She needs someone to tell her she didn't watch her feet or her position was wrong. I've seen her coach put her arm around her maybe two or three times and it means more for being a rare and genuine move and not a habit.

It's actually a very mature environment. The girls are expected to bring their best effort to practice. There is praise when they are trying hard or progressing and there is criticism when they are not trying or their brain is having a day off. It's not nasty. There's no yelling. There is very rarely any yelling in the gym. Just an expectation that they will re-focus and maybe come to next practice a bit more rested and switched on.

There is a 'threat' that they could be moved, but it's not overt. The girls are not vocally threatened with being moved and it is never used as punishment. It's just something that the parents are aware of and the girls are aware that if they are not ready for a comp or not progressing fast enough they will not be entered for their comp and may compete a different stream. It's not used in a cruel way, although it might seem very brutal at the time.

The girls are happy. They thrive and progress well.

Girls leave the gym for various reasons. It isn't for everyone. And girls have joined the gym from other places. They are all different.

I wouldn't give a second thought to what others are doing or saying. Everyone is different. If your daughter is happy, progressing and enjoys going to gym and she isn't being yelled at or bullied in any way, then that's your reality.

 

[Natalia]

Eyes wide open,ears wide open ,mouth tight shut.

Stay aware,but only speak when you are certain of the facts directly concerning your kid,speak directly to the coach if you have something specific to say.Otherwise this journey transforms itself into one crappy soap opera.

 

[stillgotmyleotard]

At my daughter's gym, the coaches seem to have a different manner with the kids before and after training. I've seen warmth towards the gymnasts and a more relaxed persona in the waiting room then, when they enter the gym, things become much more serious. I would say exactly the same of the kids and I like how it's done.

I wouldn't want to see them hugging and the kids don't seem to need it- they know when they have impressed the coach or otherwise. They have time set aside once a week where particular achievements are acknowledged and applauded. This seems to be enough for them and it does mean that praise is measured out equally; if hugs were given every time the coaches were pleased, some kids would get way more hugs than others.

I am British, of course, and it would appear the emotionally-constipated stereotype is somewhat accurate.

 

[Deleted member 14190]

At my daughter's gym, the coaches seem to have a different manner with the kids before and after training. I've seen warmth towards the gymnasts and a more relaxed persona in the waiting room then, when they enter the gym, things become much more serious. I would say exactly the same of the kids and I like how it's done.

I wouldn't want to see them hugging and the kids don't seem to need it- they know when they have impressed the coach or otherwise. They have time set aside once a week where particular achievements are acknowledged and applauded. This seems to be enough for them and it does mean that praise is measured out equally; if hugs were given every time the coaches were pleased, some kids would get way more hugs than others.

I am British, of course, and it would appear the emotionally-constipated stereotype is somewhat accurate.

==
Nothing wrong with giving a kid a hug because they did well!!!!

 

[stillgotmyleotard]

I suppose this is a good illustration of varying personalities and finding a facility that suits. I have no problem with congratulation, or the way our gym displays it; usually a nodding smile or, at most, a high-five.

Even in competition, our coaches tend to favour a hand-shake while out on the floor. After a particularly successful comp, once the medal ceremonies were over, the group did have a group hug with their coaches in the centre but it's certainly not an everyday thing. It would seem strange to me if they were to start hugging in our gym as a matter of course, though hugs between the gymnasts themselves are commonplace.

And, as parents, we are always impressed and ready with warmth, whether to congratulate or console after a session. It seems to suit our gymnasts so I'm happy with it.