Parents Any advice?

[gymmommy72]

My daughter just competed level 6 and is training level 7. Up til now, most skills came with just a little work...meaning she really didn't have to spend a lot of time getting them. She's not a perfectionist and does not enjoy always having to do the same thing over and over to perfect them. Hence where she's a worker but not a hard worker. Well my daughter really wants to get to level 7 but doesn't understand that it takes HARD work, she just expecting a skill to come...like the rest with normal level work and well I know it's not that easy. I am trying to explain to her it's going to take hard work and she just looks at me like duh...I am a hard worker....but when I watch I don't see her as a "hard" worker....I see that see works but she could push herself harder. Hope that makes sense. Normally I just don't care but b/c she wants to get to 7 I get a little more involved....and try to explain things to her and then I come off as not being supportive or not believing in her. I get frustrated b/c I know with more effort and pushing herself, she can do it. Any advice how to explain to her the difference btwn work and hard work. She's 10 and does okay at meets...I'd consider her average...could be better if she learned to work hard and perfect her stuff...LOL.

I am trying to back off and just let it go but I want her to understand what I am talking about...

thanks

 

[iwannacoach]

I don't know if this is going to help, but here's one way I've gotten kids to step it up a notch. I explain to them the difference in skill learning difficulty on a number basis that they have already experienced with every skill they've learned from day one. So if a fwd roll took 45 tries over three class sessions, how many attempts did all of the other skills she' learned require.

She's experienced a different time frame and attempt count for every skill at each successive difficulty level, and she's capable of understanding that a round-off back handspring is harder than a cartwheel. She needs to understand that the difference between those two skills is partly technical complexity, partly ability, but mostly the number of attempts any of us have to take in order to process the technique mentally and convert it the proper muscle memory.

Most kids have a consistent learning curve on skills up to level 7, and any of those skills can be learned in a fairly predictable time/number frame. IMO there is a minimum amount of time and attempts required to learn a back handspring on beam, and it works similar to a math problem she can understand.......

Attempts multiplied by learning days = bhs on beam.......let's place a value on this skill of 300 meaningfull efforts to figure out how long the skill might take to learn. Doing 20 attempt per day will get you there much faster than 10 attempts each day, and maybe twice as fast if every effort is a sincere, concentrate effort to learn.

It's just like going to the store to buy a new flat screen tv. You can buy the tiny units for around $150, the medium ones for around $350, the large ones for $800, and units that allow you bragging right requiring home remodeling to accomodate them will cost upwards of $3000. You can shop around all you want for the best price, but you still end up paying within a certain range for each size's intended price point.

So there's the concept. A fwd roll on floor is a $45 skill, and a bhs on beam is a $300 skill. Your dd can only purchase them with the gymnastics currency we all call effort, paid in daily installments until the skill has been paid for, in full.

 

[Gymdad2]

Gymmommy72,

Maybe it would be a good idea for you to have a meeting with her coach(es). Maybe you could share your thoughts with them and see how they percieve your dd's attitude and potential. Good luck.

 

[C's MOM]

Gymmommy72,

Maybe it would be a good idea for you to have a meeting with her coach(es). Maybe you could share your thoughts with them and see how they percieve your dd's attitude and potential. Good luck.

I second that. Maybe her coaches do not see the same as you do. I say this because I have seen some wonderful gymmies at DD's gym who have overly controlling Moms. I am not saying that you are such a parent. These gymmies at DD's gym look so miserable, and some have quit the sport altogether.
Whenever DD makes a comment about a skill she wants to get, I do remind her of what she needs to do. When I ask her, "Well what do you need to do then?" She always responds, "Work Hard." What that means to her is enough to get the skill thus far. I leave everything else to her coaches. These gymmies tend to listen to them most anyways.

I have heard that at DD's gym if the coach doesn't ask to speak to you, then all is well. I have tried to make myself approachable so that if a need arises they will come to me. As a teacher, if I have an overbearing parent, I may go to them more minimally. That helps me to take things in stride. Of course all kids are different. My DD is training 7 as well. The skills are harder obviously, but her positive demeanor is a benefit to her. If your DD is positive about her work/sport, that's what you want to nurture. Good luck with your DD!

 

[LizzieLac]

I have heard one of our coaches explain it this way to the girls - "Are you coming to practice and trying to impress me."

You can ask your DD if she goes to practice and does everything that is asked of her OR if she goes to practice and tries to impress her coach. Maybe she doesn't realize that she could work harder. I am not every athlete is able to discern that. This question might help he figure it out for herself.

Good luck to your DD.