Parents Anyone else REALLY want their DD to quit?

[SHELOVESGYM]

If your DD is just at level 3 and you're already worried about financials now, it's only going to get worse. Much worse.
Before I agreed to let DD join pre-team I sat down and thoroughly looked thru what this was going to cost us...like once she was on team, if she gets to TOPS, what it would cost if she makes it to level 10...etc. and I (hope to god) think it will most likely work.

Today I got a little sad thinking about families who go on exotic vacations to here there and everywhere...thinking "holy crap, we probably aren't ever going to be able to do this kind of stuff"....but then I thought about it some more, and realized MY parents never took me to the Bahamas, and I turned out fine...I was totally ok with sacrificing a "normal life" for my sport, so if my kid loves gymnastics this much, she won't even think of it as a sacrifice. I've got my entire life to travel, my kids are only going to be young for so long....the Bahamas can wait.

So to answer your question, yes. I did think about my daughter quitting, or putting her in a less demanding sport. But then I thought about how I would have felt if my parents made me quit figure skating, and I know I would have been devastated....so here we are, in this for the long haul.


If it's something your kid loves, and you can figure it out financially, I say make the sacrifice for your kid.

If it's going to be impossible for your family from a financial standpoint, then find another sport that is less demanding that perhaps can utilize the skills gym has already taught her.

A few of you responded that if we are already feeling financial pressure it will only get worse and that sort of thing. Honestly we are not feeling financial pressure at all from gym. I mean sure, it would be nice to put the money that is going towards gymnastics into decorating the new house we just built or something -but really, the money is not a problem for us. The issue to me is that I am uncertain that competitive gymnastics is a good activity for DD or for the rest of the family -so I don't feel that it is good use of money.

 

[LJL07]

Yes. Mentally exhausting for me. Financially outrageous. They are not going to do this in adulthood. But they would be beyond crushed if we took it away from them.

 

[buttercup]

The issue to me is that I am uncertain that competitive gymnastics is a good activity for DD or for the rest of the family

I think it's very hard early on to see the big picture and what positives and negatives could be the outcome from being involved in this sport. It's much easier looking back on it! ;-)
I guess we were lucky- when DS was just starting into competitive gymnastics we saw the immediate benefits- he was stronger, it helped his confidence, and training and learning to focus on the gym carried over to school.
After many years in the sport- including some pretty bad seasons and more injuries then I care to count - the benefits still overcome the negatives by a landslide. I love the resilience and persistence that this sport has taught him. The team aspect (smaller gym - all levels train together) has given him role models to look up to when he was younger, and now as that older boy he has become the role model. I can confidently say that gymnastics has helped shape him into who he is today.

He likely won't continue competing past the end of highschool, (there's no option for University Gymnastics here) but is already coaching and judging along with training and I can see those aspects of the sport continuing.

Looking back on it I have never wanted him to quit- and still don't. When he's done I will be alright with it and support him- (I've been through it already with his sister and her sport)- and encourage him to continue on with the coaching and it judging, to stay connected to the sport he will likely always love.

 

[profmom]

Our gym's picture day is coming soon. This year both of mine will be standing up in the back of the whole team picture. It seems both eons ago and just yesterday that they were the tinies sitting cross-legged in and near the front. I actually got just a little teary thinking about it.

 

[exgymnastmomx3]

There is an entire world out there besides gymnastics,truly!! I know when they are in the midst of it, it is difficult to see. However, the foundation that everybody loves about gymnastics really does transfer to other sports! After 10 or so years of gymnastics, my 3 level 9/10 girls all moved on for various reasons (Yes, I was thrilled for so many reasons) but they all moved on to great things! At the ages of 13, 14, and 15 and at various times years apart, they went on to become great dancers, pole vaulters, and runners. I enjoyed every minutes of those sports, where I had not enjoyed most of the years of gymnastics. One of my daughter's is actually a Dance major in college-she became that passionate about it. One is currently on the Dance team in HS and is heavily involved in studio dance, and my oldest dd was recruited to college for pole vaulting but went enjoyed running marathons more. Life became less stressful for all of us, there were less pressures financially, far less injuries and less resentment from our son who always resented the time I spent with the girls at gymnastics and the money it cost. (He's a runner-cheap sport!!) There really is another side to it all! What I regret the most is that I didn't pull them out early when I saw everything snowballing out of control before we got in over our heads. They were great gymnasts, but I realized later on that they would have been great athletes in many other sports as well. For US, I look back and believe the negatives outweighed the positives for our family, but that's just my experience.

 

[strawberries]

I have one child who is a naturally gifted athlete, for whom sports have come easily, skills have come easily, and who struggles with a tendency to be sloppy and lazy. She has won state by decent margins in AA and individual events, and scores 37-38's.
I wish she was a harder worker, but she loves gymnastics and it has been great for her.

I have another child who works his backside off, and comes dead last at every meet...maybe 2nd to last on a good day...just a different set of natural abilities.

Here's the thing...the one who places last is far and away the one who gets the most out of gymnastics, who finds identity in it, who works so, so hard, and who wears the participation ribbon proudly around the house, who is always beaming, and clapping all the chalk away, cheering for a stranger on another team at meets, whose kind coach says, "you are the best," and quietly, conspiratorially, "you are better than the kids in the next level."
Everyone knows it isn't really true, but my child loves to hear it and, in a way it's true because of the enthusiasm and joy and passion and hard work that this child puts into the sport. Gymnastics has been the best thing ever, for this second, "lower-achieving" child, and in no way has it crushed confidence...in fact, it has done the exact opposite. Everyone is inspired by him.

This isn't always the case of course, but for my two opposite-end-of-the-spectrum kids, gymnastics has contributed much more to the confidence of the less superficially successful one.

I have to add though, it is absolutely essential that we, as parents find a way to find true pleasure and joy in our children's efforts and performance, and most importantly to delight in their love of the sport. The same way we expect our kids to cheer sincerely for their competitors and teammates (even when it doesn't come naturally), to show grace and sportsmanship, whether winner or losing, and to celebrate each other's new skills and victories, we have to learn to sincerely support our kids, and their efforts, regardless of score or placement.
Know that you are not alone. I don't think this comes naturally to almost any of us, but it might be the most important (and probably hardest) job of a gym parent.

...and unfortunately, our kids can usually tell the difference

All the best luck working through this tough family decision

 

[sce]

. The issue to me is that I am uncertain that competitive gymnastics is a good activity for DD or for the rest of the family

What makes you uncertain that it's not a good activity for her? for your family?

 

[needcoffee]

A few of you responded that if we are already feeling financial pressure it will only get worse and that sort of thing. Honestly we are not feeling financial pressure at all from gym. I mean sure, it would be nice to put the money that is going towards gymnastics into decorating the new house we just built or something -but really, the money is not a problem for us. The issue to me is that I am uncertain that competitive gymnastics is a good activity for DD or for the rest of the family -so I don't feel that it is good use of money.

Would you still feel this way if she was top of the podium?

To me, your username says it all.

 

[exgymnastmomx3]

Would you still feel this way if she was top of the podium?
I know this wasn't addressed to me, but I wanted to say that this is WHY we kept our 3 girls in gymnastics for far too long and I am sorry that we did and I know that this is true for other families that I know as well. It is because they were top of the podium gymnasts. I knew they had talent and I knew we couldn't afford it and for that, I feel guilty for not listening to my gut telling me to get them out before it became too much money. However, I literally had everyone (besides my immediate family) telling me that we would be nuts to pull such talented gymnasts out of a sport that they so clearly loved and they were so clearly gifted at. I feel that I should have been the adult and made the adult decision as to what was best for our family. I shouldn't have let my emotions and the girls love of the sport and their talent get the best of me at those early stages. No one knows what is best for the family but the adults involved in the situation. I knew better and I should have done better. My top of the podium gymnasts had a lot of pressure from coaches to stay there and ultimately they each had their own negative consequences of such pressure. Each family has to do what's best for the entire family, not just one person in the family. Coming to that conclusion is what is the most difficult!

 

[needcoffee]

I agree exgymnastmomx3, but that doesn't seem to be the issue here. The OP seems solely focused on the fact that her dd doesn't win, and has said that they can afford it and she loves it a lot.

 

[needcoffee]

FWIW SHELOVESGYM, I had a moment yesterday where I couldn't care less if DD never places ever again. One of her team mates got her Giants, and the only reason anyone knew about it was because my DD let out a massive cheer that echoed throughout the entire gym. I'm so proud of the supportive little person she's become. There's just so much more to get out of this sport than medals.