Parents Babying your DD?

[gotgym]

I agree with most.. parental support ,high fives and hugs are all great. Watching as many practices as you can in this busy world is a plus and all the kids love to show off their accomplishments . I did all the same when my girls were much younger(1st gr teacher and college now). But disrupting practices .yelling into the coaches and rocking a child when she comes to get a drink are all a bit over the line. We had a similiar mom that started this way and then ended up not being able to handle herself at meets when a score was flashed and her daughter was disappointed. Theyd both cry and run to each other and the mom would yell to the judges. Needless to say after we talked to her on several occasions we had to tell her this team was not for her.

 

[Monkeygirlsmom]

I will baby my girls a bit if they get hurt but its mostly a hug and a check to make sure its not more than it is (usually its nothing but a little acknowledment goes a long way) they are off ! and yes I will high 5 goods and all and once in a while say point your toes or somehting like that but I do my best to keep my mouth shut and let them have fun and the coaches coach!

my 8 yr old would be mortified if I rocked her (she likes hugs etc) and yelled at her coach ~ she has fun with the coaches and more when the coaches have fun back!!

 

[Ingymmom]

Well, I don't know this parent that is being talked about, what gym this etc. so I can only believe and base it on what the original post said, others have added here and there and mentioned situations that did not sound at all healthy... some have even slightly embellished the OP.

Regarding the OP, I personally don't see anything wrong with what she did & can’t categorize her as “psycho”. The poster specifically said that this particular child loved the rocking, not that she was embarrassed by it - so what? As far as the mom yelling at the coach - the poster said that her dd explained what happened - I thought this was a young dd, but could be mistaken. And, well, sometimes stories get a little misconstrued coming from a young gymmie.

Bottom line IMO "judge not less ye be judged". What this parent does with her own child is her business… Don't know that parent... it always makes me feel uncomfortable reading about parents that aren't here to defend themselves.

Now, what gives me the creeps is that these parents, children and coaches are watching this parent, snickering at her and her dd behind their back (very grade school), and then bothering to actually write about her on a public forum (even more grade school) – that she could read and would probably know it was about her if she ever stumbles across it – This has actually happened here before and needlessly hurt a parent. Why does it matter so much?

 

[gymmomntc2e6]

Well, I don't know this parent that is being talked about, what gym this etc. so I can only believe and base it on what the original post said, others have added here and there and mentioned situations that did not sound at all healthy... some have even slightly embellished the OP.

Regarding the OP, I personally don't see anything wrong with what she did & can’t categorize her as “psychoâ€￾. The poster specifically said that this particular child loved the rocking, not that she was embarrassed by it - so what? As far as the mom yelling at the coach - the poster said that her dd explained what happened - I thought this was a young dd, but could be mistaken. And, well, sometimes stories get a little misconstrued coming from a young gymmie.

Bottom line IMO "judge not less ye be judged". What this parent does with her own child is her business… Don't know that parent... it always makes me feel uncomfortable reading about parents that aren't here to defend themselves.

Now, what gives me the creeps is that these parents, children and coaches are watching this parent, snickering at her and her dd behind their back (very grade school), and then bothering to actually write about her on a public forum (even more grade school) – that she could read and would probably know it was about her if she ever stumbles across it – This has actually happened here before and needlessly hurt a parent. Why does it matter so much?

Thank you Ingymom for making us take a look at our own behavior.

 

[gymjourneymom]

Very good points Ingymmom, well said. I've probably been "guilty" of baby-ing my DD also. She has always been tiny(as many gymnast are). Even now at 13yrs old she could pass for 8 or 9yrs old. I'm sure I carried her around "longer then I should have". Family members made comments about me keeping her in her car booster seat, well after she was 8yrs old. But she was(is still) very tiny & didn't meet the weight or ht range to fit a regular seat belt safely until this year. Guess I'd be labeled "crazy" too...maybe I already am,LOL. But DD is a healthy(but small), well adjusted 13yr old. Guess she's able to survive my "over protectiveness".

 

[bogwoppit]

My 9 year old is not small for her age and she will remain in her booster seat at least until she is 10, just like her older sis. It is not babying, that is just commen sense and safety. The stats on "submarining" from regualr seat belts for children are horrific.

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She has two friends who still use theirs, but she also has friends who haven't used one since they were 3 and can also ride in the open box of dad's pick up truck.

As for babying, that is as subjective as "spoiling" and "being abusive". It takes a whole lot of different to make a balanced society.

 

[Tara]

Ingymmom- Yes, you do make a very good point. Just in my opinion I thought it would be an interesting thread to talk about. In the past others have mentioned "crazy moms" and their behavior so I thought this could kind of go in that subject. I believe that all mothers (I don't even feel the need to say "guilty") should give their daughter\sons support and acknowledgement. IMO this lady just goes over the edge. She should let her daughter practice without any disruptions. I did say her daughter does enjoy the attention her mother gives her, but I do notice a bit of disturbance between her and her teammates.

I'm sorry if you got the wrong idea of this post(not just to Ingymmom but to all the posters and viewers.):sorry::ashamed:

Also, none of the members posting shouldn't be ashamed of anything (ie. being "guilty") You are not even CLOSE to what this lady does. Once again sorry if you got the wrong idea.

 

[mariposa]

My 9 year old is not small for her age and she will remain in her booster seat at least until she is 10, just like her older sis. It is not babying, that is just commen sense and safety. The stats on "submarining" from regualr seat belts for children are horrific.

Link Removed

She has two friends who still use theirs, but she also has friends who haven't used one since they were 3 and can also ride in the open box of dad's pick up truck.

As for babying, that is as subjective as "spoiling" and "being abusive". It takes a whole lot of different to make a balanced society.

I just dealt with this this weekend. I took DD and 2 friends to the Superstars tour and our L4 meet. All of them should still be in booster seats for safety reasons, but only 2 (my DD and another) were. I think next time I will require that girl to use my DDs belt positioning booster she uses in her dads truck. I was freaked out the whole time.

I don't understand why so many 5 year olds and up aren't still in a booster seat. My 6 year old (44" and 40lbs) is in a 5 pt harness (the Britax Regent) and will be until she outgrows the seats limits, then she will go to a regular booster seat I guess, unless something else comes out for bigger kids. LOL. My 2 1/2 year old is STILL rear facing and will be until she reaches the limit for rear facing on her seat. Many turn their kids around at 1. Yikes.

 

[Linsul]

After reading some of the latest responses I went and read the original post again. I don't think it conveyed an argument against loving your child. When I read it, as a mom, I figured it went without saying that a mothers love for her daughter is special, unique, and requires no special permission to publicly show. I also figured it's a given that on a forum where tone and inflection of verbal communication isn't possible, that hyperbole is commonly used to get a point across instead. Also, it's the internet! If you can't vent here anonymously, without naming names, then...meh.

Taking the post at face value, the 'creepy' factor to me was love for a child at the exclusion of every commonly known form of gymnast attention. Other parents, the coach, etc. I'm 100% for hugs, high 5's, rocking, whatever! However the post described a situation where any attention aside from the mom's wasn't just disliked, but was reacted to by a public berating. I wasn't there, but if that is so, I can see why the mom is sitting by herself that has nothing to do with the 'gossipy mom club' factor. Who wants to get yelled at publicly?

It also struck me as sad that there are a lot of awesome relationships that come from being a team parent, and a team gymnast, that are getting stunted. A water break rocking shouldn't, and doesn't have to, come at the cost of a fellow parents friendship, a happy coach-parent relationship, or a coach-gymnast dynamic.

I'll repeat, this is my reaction to the post as it was written. I know, and most everyone does I think, that reality could have been very different. Venting, exaggeration, whatever, I think shocking moments have a way of ending up in the open. As long as it's anonymous, and taken with a grain of salt by the reader, we should be able to cope without coming down on one another.

 

[Tara]

After reading some of the latest responses I went and read the original post again. I don't think it conveyed an argument against loving your child. When I read it, as a mom, I figured it went without saying that a mothers love for her daughter is special, unique, and requires no special permission to publicly show. I also figured it's a given that on a forum where tone and inflection of verbal communication isn't possible, that hyperbole is commonly used to get a point across instead. Also, it's the internet! If you can't vent here anonymously, without naming names, then...meh.

Taking the post at face value, the 'creepy' factor to me was love for a child at the exclusion of every commonly known form of gymnast attention. Other parents, the coach, etc. I'm 100% for hugs, high 5's, rocking, whatever! However the post described a situation where any attention aside from the mom's wasn't just disliked, but was reacted to by a public berating. I wasn't there, but if that is so, I can see why the mom is sitting by herself that has nothing to do with the 'gossipy mom club' factor. Who wants to get yelled at publicly?

It also struck me as sad that there are a lot of awesome relationships that come from being a team parent, and a team gymnast, that are getting stunted. A water break rocking shouldn't, and doesn't have to, come at the cost of a fellow parents friendship, a happy coach-parent relationship, or a coach-gymnast dynamic.

I'll repeat, this is my reaction to the post as it was written. I know, and most everyone does I think, that reality could have been very different. Venting, exaggeration, whatever, I think shocking moments have a way of ending up in the open. As long as it's anonymous, and taken with a grain of salt by the reader, we should be able to cope without coming down on one another.

Thank you!! I didn't mean anything by this. I thought it would just be an interesting thread to talk about. I just needed to vent; what I have talked about in my original post, I just kind of had it with this lady. Let the kid be, she is normal and has 2 other siblings, no health conditions. I did not mean by any way think that this thread will get off to a wrong start.

 

[bogwoppit]

I just dealt with this this weekend. I took DD and 2 friends to the Superstars tour and our L4 meet. All of them should still be in booster seats for safety reasons, but only 2 (my DD and another) were. I think next time I will require that girl to use my DDs belt positioning booster she uses in her dads truck. I was freaked out the whole time.

quote]

Until my DD's friends were 8 I made them use a booster seat or they got no ride, I couldn't bear the thought of injuring one of them. In Ontario Canada kids have to be 10 before they get out of the booster seat, and in the UK it is similar.

Okay, thread hijacking over, but I suppose if I can't do it who will.

 

[Tara]

I just dealt with this this weekend. I took DD and 2 friends to the Superstars tour and our L4 meet. All of them should still be in booster seats for safety reasons, but only 2 (my DD and another) were. I think next time I will require that girl to use my DDs belt positioning booster she uses in her dads truck. I was freaked out the whole time.

quote]

Until my DD's friends were 8 I made them use a booster seat or they got no ride, I couldn't bear the thought of injuring one of them. In Ontario Canada kids have to be 10 before they get out of the booster seat, and in the UK it is similar.

Okay, thread hijacking over, but I suppose if I can't do it who will.

Hm. I took Matthew out of his booster seat at maybe 8 (he is now 9). Alexis is still in hers (she is 6) Kay and Liv are also still in theirs ( 4 and 1)

 

[gymjourneymom]

Thanks for getting this thread started Tara. You did get conversations going & that is what CB is here for. Just wondering if any one has "reached out" to the mom that inspired this post? Maybe she is shy & has trouble "joining" the group of other moms. Thanks for the car seat link Bog. Didn't mean to take the thread off topic...but being a nurse I love to educate people when ever I can.

 

[Tara]

Thanks for getting this thread started Tara. You did get conversations going & that is what CB is here for. Just wondering if any one has "reached out" to the mom that inspired this post? Maybe she is shy & has trouble "joining" the group of other moms. Thanks for the car seat link Bog. Didn't mean to take the thread off topic...but being a nurse I love to educate people when ever I can.

GJM- Done everything we can to invite this mom is our group. Every time we invite her she either says "no" or brags about her daughter (I mean BRAGGING not a single word about the team. I mean of course we all do mommy brags but this lady just goes on and on...) I wouldn't be that selfish to vent about a lady I have never tried to befriend before.

 

[mariposa]

Until my DD's friends were 8 I made them use a booster seat or they got no ride, I couldn't bear the thought of injuring one of them. In Ontario Canada kids have to be 10 before they get out of the booster seat, and in the UK it is similar.

Okay, thread hijacking over, but I suppose if I can't do it who will.

I just actually emailed my friend your link, along with the page on talking to your kids (because this little girl made a comment about not being a baby and not needing a booster seat). I also told her that in the future, her DD will have to ride in a booster in my car. I hope I was nice about it, but it really had me freaked the whole time. I would feel horrible if something happened to her in my car.

I wish car seat laws here were more strict. In our state, legally they just have to be in car seats until they turn 5 years old.

 

[gymjourneymom]

I just actually emailed my friend your link, along with the page on talking to your kids (because this little girl made a comment about not being a baby and not needing a booster seat). I also told her that in the future, her DD will have to ride in a booster in my car. I hope I was nice about it, but it really had me freaked the whole time. I would feel horrible if something happened to her in my car.

I wish car seat laws here were more strict. In our state, legally they just have to be in car seats until they turn 5 years old.

I agree! The age in our states is 8. But wt & ht requirements supersede age, many people don't realize this. My DD would always give her friends the "heads up" before I was asked to carpool anyone. No carpool parents ever gave me a hard time(just older family members) when I explained this to them. DD actually loved her booster seat b/c she could actually see out the window better in it.

 

[Tara]

I agree! The age in our states is 8. But wt & ht requirements supersede age, many people don't realize this. My DD would always give her friends the "heads up" before I was asked to carpool anyone. No carpool parents ever gave me a hard time(just older family members) when I explained this to them. DD actually loved her booster seat b/c she could actually see out the window better in it.

That made me laugh!

 

[gymjourneymom]

GJM- Done everything we can to invite this mom is our group. Every time we invite her she either says "no" or brags about her daughter (I mean BRAGGING not a single word about the team. I mean of course we all do mommy brags but this lady just goes on and on...) I wouldn't be that selfish to vent about a lady I have never tried to befriend before.

Okay...back to the real point of this thread,LOL~! Sorry for the hijacking Tara! I'm glad to know you made an effort to reach out to said mom. You get an "A" for effort, LOL! People are different...it does take all of us to make the world go round, right I do hope that this mom's behavior is not inhibiting her DD from making friends & bonding with her team...that would be a real shame.

 

[Tara]

Okay...back to the real point of this thread,LOL~! Sorry for the hijacking Tara! I'm glad to know you made an effort to reach out to said mom. You get an "A" for effort, LOL! People are different...it does take all of us to make the world go round, right I do hope that this mom's behavior is not inhibiting her DD from making friends & bonding with her team...that would be a real shame.

No problem- I always get off task as well. LOL. This is what I was venting about, I do not like that the mom is going a bit overboard with her child and feeding in to the attention. Just a quick vent- didn't think it was going to turn into a big ordeal.

 

[Ingymmom]

Tara - I get where you are coming from... we all love to vent. I just hate doing it at the cost of someones feelings. There was a mom in our gym that did not fit in. She was bashed (behind her back) by others AND by me... long story short, this mom turned out to be the sweetest, most caring mom in the gym - she really came off as a crazy in the beginning. Guess who felt like the heal, and I think we are actually starting to become friends, but she is still very cautious. Can't say I blame her she has been burned many times before. I thought it was so nice to try and reach out to "your" mom. I go out of my way to not talk about peeps behind their back - trust me if I say it behind your back, or on the net ... I'll have no problem saying it to your face

GJM - thanks so much for your kind words. There is always 2 sides to every story. You are such a wise mom, coming from you it means a lot.

linsul - girl, I know you have had to deal with all sorts of parents as a coach. And you could probably picture the scene unfolding all over again. Coaches get burned so much. On the parent side sometimes we have to take a different view. We do have to sit, cheer and many times become friends with these families. Cause, if our dd's stay in the sport we may be together for a lllllaaawwng time . As for anonymity, obviously everything we post is not all that anonymous in a public forum. Well, what anonymity?... hold up, I have to pm you for the rest.