Bad practices--how to bounce back

[cathiann]

I know I've posted on the Parent Forum that Beth is stressed about the upcoming intrasquad meet. I even e-mailed her coaches about it and they were going to talk with her. But I'm posting here to see if any gymnasts have feedback as well as parents.

Beth had (according to her) a bad practice yesterday--other than vault, it seemed (to her) like she couldn't do anything right--fell on her top change on bars, banged her foot on beam doing something, struggled with her forward pass on floor to the extent that she was crying and her coach made her sit out (heck, I would have made her sit out too!).

So my question to you all--how can I help her to re-focus herself when she's having a bad day--or even to not worry about it the next day? As I've said before, she tends to focus on the negative--"if I messed up before, how do I know I wont' mess up again?? And if I mess up, I might keep messing up!" She's 11 yrs now and this has just started recently (within the last year). Not sure if it's because she's getting older or higher in levels (for background--she was level 7 last year, will do level 8 at the intrasquad and (hopefully) get a move-up score to compete level 9 this year--she has all the skills for 9, but she's worried anyway--and that worry makes her do less well).

I tend to be more of a positive outlook--learn from a mistake, but move on, so I don't know how to help! (other than I did point out that EVERY gymnast out there--even (perhaps especially) elite gymnasts--has bad practices where seemingly nothing goes right. She just needs to put it out of her head and move on.

 

[mariposa]

No advice as my gymmie is little and bounces back quick after a bad practice.

The only thing I can think of is if you have considered doing Doc Ali's workbooks, CDs, etc? They focus on a lot of things, but I am pretty sure dealing with these issues and many more is included. Link Removed They have 2 workbooks it seems one for 9 and up and geared more towards compulsory gymnast. Then they have this one Link Removed that says 12 and up and geared for optional gymnast, turning frustration into opportunity is one of the skills listed, as well as changing negative thoughts. I would probably get this and the CD for gymnasts. I really enjoy positive imagery CDs and will one day get this for my gymmie. Here are the articles on her site as well, though you probably have already seen them. Link Removed

They even have WebCamp at HeadGames and you could maybe try it for a month and see. You get a workbook as well. http://www.headgameswebcamp.com/

 

[mariposa]

Link Removed Another possibly product to look at. Haven't heard reviews, but the site had a lot of good stuff.

 

[MdGymMom01]

Boy, do I know what you are talking about cathiann! Dani is somewhat the same way--she is around the same age (she turns 11 on Jan 25th) and tends to worry about the "what ifs" a lot and dwell on the negative. Just last week her coach said that she had a meltdown and was crying and upset for 45 minutes over vaulting issues (or was it the flyaway?? Now I can't remember which). Anyway, her coach got her to relax and calm down and she was fine by the end of practice. Usually what I do when Dani gets like this is tell her that it is just "a bad practice" or she is tired. I usually reassure her that the next practice will go better and she just needs a good nights sleep. That usually reassures her, but often she needs to be reminded that it is no big deal--gymnasts go through bad days all the time.

I also try to tie in something related to me to help her see that everyone has bad days. I tell her about a miserable day at work where I couldn't figure out a problem or where nothing was going right and then the next day after walking away from the situation for a bit, everything turns out ok.

But, I do owe most of the credit for getting her back under control to her coach. She has a great way of getting the girls back on track after meltdowns (we have quite a few emotional kids on our team) and just emphasizing the positive in every situation. So, the next time Beth is upset at home or in the car ask her what her coach says to her to get her back on track. I also try to limit "making a big deal about it" because sometimes that just creates more worry for the kids. I wish I had more advice for you and I hope what I did say helps her. Good luck at the next meet and we will all be thinking of you guys!!

 

[gracefulone]

If there were no bad days the good days wouldn't be as satisfying.

Every sport has its ups and downs; I've noticed it a lot with running. There are days where you just hurt and have a crappy time of it, but it does make those days when the weather is perfect and you feel invincible even better.

 

[MdGymMom01]

If there were no bad days the good days wouldn't be as satisfying.

Every sport has its ups and downs; I've noticed it a lot with running. There are days where you just hurt and have a crappy time of it, but it does make those days when the weather is perfect and you feel invincible even better.

I can totally relate to the running. Back in the days when I ran cross country and track, there were those days that your running was so effortless and you didn't even breathe hard after a workout and other days when just trying to do a warmup/cooldown or pacer was hard! I would often think to myself--come on Kath--it's just running, put one foot in front of the other, how hard can that be??? But, I guess that is where the mental toughness comes in!!!!

 

[gymjoy]

Just having the skills for level 9 does not mean she is ready to compete level 9. Maybe all this worry and anxiety is because she does not want to admit she isn't ready/does not want to skip a level.
I am speaking from experience with my dd. She was 11 last year and skipped from 6 to 8. She was very excited about it - WOW! I get to skip a level. However, it was mental and emotionally tough on her. She was given the choice to compete level 8 again or skip to 10 this season. Her gym is not competing a level 9 team this year for various reasons. She was ready for 9 and could be ready for 10 if that had been her decision. She said no way would she put herself through that again - way too stressful and not fun.
I would suggest sitting down and talking about expectations and goals and time-lines. She is 11, and nearing the age when emotions run high and many girls quit, there is no need to reach level 9 or 10 right now. She could have a great level 8 year, build up her confidence and competitive edge. And really enjoy it.

I know I sound like a nay-sayer. I was so proud of how hard my dd had worked to get to where she was with her gymnastics. I was very excited for her to skip a level and be where she deserved to be because she was ready skill-wise. I was ready to see her sky-rocket over others to the moon. But it wore her down, it strung her out, it almost made her quit. She has taken a step back and everything is going well again, but if I had only listened to the clues she gave me sooner we would have avoided several months of unhappiness and tears. Her clues were very much how you described your dd acting.

My heart goes out to both of you. It really does. Good luck.

 

[Deleted member D3987]

yep. ^^^well said.

 

[gymdog]

This is difficult, starting around this age, and continuing for much older girls. Unfortunately it may intensify a little over the next two years or so before it gets better. Wish I had better news to offer, but that's my observation.

For each skill, especially on beam, I'd recommend that she come up with a one word "prompt" for the beginning, middle, and end of each skill. To start with this, she might need to start writing sentences, of what she needs to focus on to complete the skill, and then pare it down to one word she can think during each phase. Before starting the skill, she needs a mental cue like "I can". I always tell kids that's the first step - tell yourself you can and start the skill.

The level stuff is tough. I'd talk with her again and let her know there are still other options (I remember from what you've mentioned, the coaches seem pretty sensitive to this). She can do level 9 next year, and she'd still be one of the youngest girls. I was a late starter in gymnastics and didn't even start competing until I was 11. Even though there have been some changes to level 8, you can still compete a fair amount - BHS series on beam, yurchenko vault. L7 to 9 is a huge jump, even now with the rules change. And many girls do two or three seasons of 9, and are doing L10 routines on some events. In my region, level 9 and 10 are really a whole different ball game from level 7 and 8. And just inherently, the routines are a lot longer, require more connections, and are scarier with a lot more room for error. Because of that, to be honest it's a jump I probably wouldn't even consider, unless the girl was much older and trying to get more competitive experience in order to open up the potential of NCAA participation. This is not to say it's wrong, or will ultimately end up going poorly for your daughter - by the end of the season she could feel very differently. But if she's already stressed out with all the meets and several months ahead, it would give me some pause.

 

[gymfan4ever95]

I tend to also focus on the negative, just like your daughter. What my coach tells me is that some times you just simply have off days. She tells me that I can do as many as I want, but some days they just arn't going to work out...expessially on new skills. During my bad practices, my coach tells me to work on the things that aren't giving me a hard time. Because when you are frustrated, nothing good will come out if it. I hope this helps!

 

[Igym24-7]

I agree with gymfan4ever95. Everyone has their off days. Some have them more than others do. I think instead of keep telling her the sme things everytime she is having a bad day. Just say like you will do better the next day. And Everyone has their off days you just need to work through them. Even if that means taking one day of durning like the summer or a week that is far away from her next meet and just doing something that is fun and keep her going with a positive attidude. I know that helps me to just take gymnastics out of my head for a day. I hope that helps a little

 

[gymchick14]

I completely understand. Some days are just bad days. As a matter of fact, last night I had a bad practice. Didn't get over my mental block, hit my foot on beam, found out i have to twist on floor. I am just telling myself that tonight is going to be an awesome practice, and that helps me get over last night. I reward myself after good practices with ice cream or a new pair of shoes. If I have a bad practice I just remind my self to get better.

 

[bookworm]

I think it's tough with the new regs to move from 7 to 9 in one year and your DD probably senses this as well and that could be part of her issue.

If the issue is just strictly reacting to a "bad" practice/warm up, I always remember what my daughter does at meets (she's been a Level 10 for several yrs) ...she only warms up once on everything, period. It used to freak me out when I'd see her crash in warm up and then she wouldn't do it again and I would think "why aren't you trying it again?" ...until one day I asked her and she said, "If I fall, I never repeat it because I never fall twice in a row so the next time I KNOW it's going to be ok"...and I think that this type of approach has served her well. Try to get your DD to see what she DOES as opposed to what was "bad".

 

[cathiann]

No advice as my gymmie is little and bounces back quick after a bad practice.

The only thing I can think of is if you have considered doing Doc Ali's workbooks, CDs, etc? They focus on a lot of things, but I am pretty sure dealing with these issues and many more is included. Link Removed They have 2 workbooks it seems one for 9 and up and geared more towards compulsory gymnast. Then they have this one Link Removed that says 12 and up and geared for optional gymnast, turning frustration into opportunity is one of the skills listed, as well as changing negative thoughts. I would probably get this and the CD for gymnasts. I really enjoy positive imagery CDs and will one day get this for my gymmie. Here are the articles on her site as well, though you probably have already seen them. Link Removed

They even have WebCamp at HeadGames and you could maybe try it for a month and see. You get a workbook as well. http://www.headgameswebcamp.com/

Great idea--I know our gym has had her in to do clinics with the girls in the past, but it's been a few years--the CD sounds good. Thanks for the website!

 

[cathiann]

Thanks! Dani sounds alot like Beth--I, too, have told Beth that all gymnasts have bad days--yes, all people have bad days--that does seem to help. I have to admi that her coaches aren't a lot of help in calming her down at practices--basically they tell her to sit out until she calms down. I know dealing with a crying, upset girl is frustrating, but clearly that approach isn't working well.

Beth had a MUCH better practice Tuesday! She came out smiley--not super smiley, but smiling, so that was an improvement. And best of all--she saw that one bad day does not a bad week (or year!) make.

 

[cathiann]

Nay say all you want . I did talk to her about it--letting her know that if it was so stressful for her, then she can definitely stay a level 8 this year (heck, it's not even "staying" as it's still moving up a level). She was adamantly against that--said she'd be fine after the first meet--she's just worried about that. I tend to think she's right, but I still worry about her!

 

[cathiann]

I tend to also focus on the negative, just like your daughter. What my coach tells me is that some times you just simply have off days. She tells me that I can do as many as I want, but some days they just arn't going to work out...expessially on new skills. During my bad practices, my coach tells me to work on the things that aren't giving me a hard time. Because when you are frustrated, nothing good will come out if it. I hope this helps!

Thank you! Helps a lot--especially to hear from a gymnast who has gone through it recently herself

 

[cathiann]

I think it's tough with the new regs to move from 7 to 9 in one year and your DD probably senses this as well and that could be part of her issue.

If the issue is just strictly reacting to a "bad" practice/warm up, I always remember what my daughter does at meets (she's been a Level 10 for several yrs) ...she only warms up once on everything, period. It used to freak me out when I'd see her crash in warm up and then she wouldn't do it again and I would think "why aren't you trying it again?" ...until one day I asked her and she said, "If I fall, I never repeat it because I never fall twice in a row so the next time I KNOW it's going to be ok"...and I think that this type of approach has served her well. Try to get your DD to see what she DOES as opposed to what was "bad".

Thank you! Great advice and feedback from everyone.