Parents Balancing gym with school

[Gymmomtoa]

Can anyone speak to their experience of balancing high hours at the gym with high school, with an eye towards making it to NCAA? My DD is still in middle school so we are looking ahead, but going into upper optionals and we live in a school district with a high achieving high school. College track is 20+ hours at our gym, which makes it difficult to finish homework after practice without sacrificing sleep. She is usually up until 10:30pm...and she's still in 6th grade. If you attend regular (public or private) high school and keep up with training hours, how do you manage? Do you lower expectations of grades? Cut out all other extracurriculars/social time? Take "easy" (non-AP) courses? Grades must matter if pursuing high academic colleges. Is this when you consider homeschooling? Something must give.

 

[bookworm]

I had 2 level 10s (one was L10 at 10yo , the other at 12 yo) and they always went to Brick and Mortar school , no homeschooling. They were dismissed every day at 1:30 pm for our 2 hour+ commute (each way) to arrive by 4 pm for practice...they ate a snack on the way up ad did homework...at 8:30 pm, they got back in the car for the drive home, ate dinner and finished any homework. I drove my van with the lights on like a city bus! When we got home around 10:30 pm, they jumped in the shower and went to bed. They were both good students and went to parochial schools (who were GREAT with their schedules) and one did some AP, one didn't. Both got D1 full rides. Both qualified and placed at JO Nationals multiple years.

They didn't do a ton of other outside activities besides gymnastics , especially when the hours ramped up it was mainly gym...but we took family vacations, they went to Father Daughter dances, proms etc. I put my foot down on those things telling the coach "looking back they won't remember going to every Friday night practice but they WILL remember not going to Prom so it's not up for debate, period". You can give them a normal life but you have to be the gatekeeper.

 

[Liza]

My daughter is in sixth grade and has started training at level 9. Last year, she attended a private school where academics were the only focus. While she had attended this school since third grade, it was only when she moved to middle school( the school starts middle school at fifth grade) that we saw a huge jump in anxiety. Trying to balance her anxiety, workload increase plus increase training hours began to take a toll on her general well-being. We ended up switching her to Montessori this year where she can learn at her own pace. While I’m sure there are some gymnasts who could handle high academic expectations at a young age she is not one of them. She continues to have homework( a lot less) and works on it to and from practice. As for outside social interests, She has been lucky this year that all fun school activities are on her night off from practice. As for NCAA ambitions, she currently has no clue what she wants to be when she grows up so we are currently just enjoying her gymnastics journey.

 

[Dahlialover]

I went to community college for my Junior and Senior years of high school and that was super efficient. It was easy to get classes and homework done in 4 hours per day. I also earned a lot more college credit at CC than I could have earned doing APs. I plan for my kids to do the same program.

 

[skschlag]

My son had an alternate schedule. He went to school for "zero" hour, then left at 12 every day for practice. (2-6).

That being said, he did not take AP or honors classes. He was still high achieving and did well, but I really wanted him to be able to also enjoy high school. He attended football games, dances, and did a couple of clubs.

He did homework in the car or after practice.

 

[mom2newgymnast]

I think it really depends on the person.. everyone is different in how they handle stress and also everyone has different priorities. I will say that my daughter has managed to juggle it all without compromising anything, although she amazes me everyday and I know I could never have done that. And it's all coming from her as I am not a high pressure parent.

But anyway, she's a multi year level 10 and in 11th grade. She goes to a regular public high school with her friends, some of whom she's had since elementary school. She has never done any kind of early release or accommodations for gymnastics. In high school, her schedule has pretty much been leave for school at 7:00am, school from 7-2:15, home or clubs or hanging out with friends from 2:15-3:15, practice 3:30-8:30. Dinner, homework, hanging out until about 11:00. She doesn't have a ton of homework, but she does some of it when she can at school, after practice and on weekends (she has practice M-F). On weekends, she hangs out with friends, catches up on homework and works most Saturdays doing parties at the gym.

She misses practices occasionally for a friend party or football game. She'll definitely miss for the prom. She used to worry more about missing, but kind of outgrew that.. lol. She belongs to an academy at school, is in 4-5 clubs including NHS and Key Club which requires a lot of volunteer hours and on her high school gymnastics team. She has a 4.0 unweighted and about a 4.5 weighted GPA and is in many AP and honors classes. She has a lot of friends and is happy. On days where practice is canceled, she is bored and doesn't know what to do. lol. She likes to be busy and has no regrets from what she has told me. Plus most of her friends that aren't in gymnastics are equally busy with other sports or working so she doesn't feel like she is missing much. I do think she is lucky that she doesn't have a ton of homework. Her brothers took many of the same classes and they were much busier with homework, so I think some of it is that she is very efficient with her time. She literally doesn't have the time to procrastinate.

Anyway, I'm just trying to provide a little encouragement. From when she started preteam on, I was worried about when she would reach the point where she couldn't juggle it all anymore. But we just took it year by year and it all worked out in the end for her. And she has quite a few teammates that are just like her too. So it is possible! Good luck!

 

[gym_dad32608]

TLDR version: You have to decide what works best for you, your daughter and your family. There are no right or wrong paths, just opinions, and an almost infinite number of combinations that allow your child to balance school and gym. Always trade-offs, but those trade-offs are valued differently with different families.

My child is in an online program. She commutes 2 hours each way, practicing from 12-5 (5:30 by the time she is walking out of gym) M-F. She attended middle school at a brick and mortar but was subject to ridicule and bullying due to her size. Not that it caused much issue as she still had plenty of friends and maintains a few of them but she did not like the in-person experience (in addition to the fights, bomb threats, active shooter drills, teen drama, etc) and was/is more than happy to do her schoolwork online. We thought about putting her in AP classes, but as she was being recruited it became apparent that fortunately (or unfortunately depending upon your point of view) that AP classes were just not worth the extra effort and stress. Her grades were more than adequate just taking honors courses to allow her to be admitted to any program (although didn't go through the Ivy process despite Penn's best efforts). As far as extra-curriculars she spends plenty of time with her gym mates, attends concerts and football games with friends. I am sure everyone who has had a child go through upper levels can relate similar stories and trade-offs that they felt they could compromise on or not. But again, it is really up to you and your family.

I will say, and this might be an unpopular opinion, if she genuinely and realistically is on the college path, then academics becomes a little less high stakes. Right or wrong, the college athletes have a completely different college experience and are afforded different admissions processes and academic support. So for us, as I mentioned, the trade-off was not fretting over doing AP courses (preferred) or dual enrollment (less preferred) but just taking honor courses and working on getting good grades in those. AP courses don't really kick in till junior year anyway, by that time she will know if she is going to be strongly recruited or not.

 

[Ajoy]

Can anyone speak to their experience of balancing high hours at the gym with high school, with an eye towards making it to NCAA? My DD is still in middle school so we are looking ahead, but going into upper optionals and we live in a school district with a high achieving high school. College track is 20+ hours at our gym, which makes it difficult to finish homework after practice without sacrificing sleep. She is usually up until 10:30pm...and she's still in 6th grade. If you attend regular (public or private) high school and keep up with training hours, how do you manage? Do you lower expectations of grades? Cut out all other extracurriculars/social time? Take "easy" (non-AP) courses? Grades must matter if pursuing high academic colleges. Is this when you consider homeschooling? Something must give.

I’m watching this too. My daughter will be a 7th grade level 10 who is very academically minded. (My, I can almost not bare to share it on an anonymous website dream, would be for her to use gymnastics to get into a top school). The intention is for her to take ap & honors, but I’m not sure how she will balance it with gym. I have an older non gymnastics daughter in all the top classes and she regularly has 2 hours of homework a night. My pie in the sky plan is to convince our gym to start an upper practice at 2 and do an early dismissal from school. Then she will have nights to study. I don’t anticipate this becoming a big issue until high school so I have 2 years to figure it out.

 

[NutterButter]

My daughter went to a public high school. She took many AP/IB classes but not all of the ones that were offered. She focused on the math/science because that's what she enjoyed. Her high school was an IB school and she opted to not get the IB diploma because it involved too much extra work. She was able to work in a study hall or early release most semesters. She talked to her teachers at the beginning of the year about her situation most were happy to give her accommodations on homework if she needed it (which was an exception, she didn't want special treatment). I won't lie, it was hard. She was up well past midnight most nights. She didn't have much of a social life outside of gymnastics but she still did the important high school milestones like prom. I allowed her to take mental health days as needed if she needed to catch up on rest/sleep or just have a productive day at home doing schoolwork vs sitting in class. Her last year of school she was in a difficult math class and she would try to get math homework done before gym because doing the same problems after gym would take 2X longer due to being tired. This made her late for gym sometimes and it was OK...at this point I had zero you-know-whats to give.

My gymnast was *that* student. High achieving, driven, etc. You don't need to be like this in order to succeed. My kids' group of friends included all kinds of students and all of them ended up getting into respectable colleges regardless if they had AP, honors, straight A's, etc. One opted not to go to college and is thriving. I think it's important to make a decision that works best for your student and family. My advice for any parent (not just parents of high achieving athletes) is to keep an open mind and be flexible. The whole high school thing seems very daunting and I'll admit it's very easy to get sucked into 'doing all the things' so that your kid can get into the best college. It all works out though.

 

[JBS]

My oldest daughter was always able to leave high school at around 1:30 pm for 2pm - 6pm practice. This worked well and she had plenty of time to get her homework done. The gym is 2 miles (4 minutes) from the high school and our house is 8 miles (10 minutes max) from the gym. The middle school also worked with her... we open enrolled in the public school middle school that was 1 mile from the gym that had a principle that would do early release. She graduated high school with a 4.0... which was as high as the school went (no 5.0 GPA's). She is now doing D1 NCAA gymnastics at USAFA and says her schedule there is much much more demanding than high school ever was.

The local high school has now changed to block scheduling so we have had to change workouts to 3pm - 6:30pm... it has already been more challenging. We are looking for ways as a club to start earlier and still work with the public school... but it is getting harder.

 

[Gymmomtoa]

Thanks all for sharing your experiences. I think the issue is our district is not very flexible. No early dismissal, no PE exemption, no independent study. We tried to ask for these accommodations... and failed. So she's done with school at 3:30 and we drive straight to the gym for 4:30-8:30 practice. Dinner in the car, home by 9pm, shower, homework, then bed around 10:30 (but she usually doesn't fall asleep until 11). Wake up at 7am and repeat. This is the minimum sleep she should be getting at this age, probably another hour would be ideal to allow for rest/recovery. After realizing the public middle school was not working for her, for 7th grade she's switching to a private school that has study hall integrated into the school day plus she will be allowed to leave early some days. However she wants to attend the local public high school, where staying up to the wee hours to study is the norm. Someone's point about AP classes being mostly in junior and senior years is a good one to note. We will take it day by day, stay open minded and see how it goes!