Parents Balancing gym with school

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Can anyone speak to their experience of balancing high hours at the gym with high school, with an eye towards making it to NCAA? My DD is still in middle school so we are looking ahead, but going into upper optionals and we live in a school district with a high achieving high school. College track is 20+ hours at our gym, which makes it difficult to finish homework after practice without sacrificing sleep. She is usually up until 10:30pm...and she's still in 6th grade. If you attend regular (public or private) high school and keep up with training hours, how do you manage? Do you lower expectations of grades? Cut out all other extracurriculars/social time? Take "easy" (non-AP) courses? Grades must matter if pursuing high academic colleges. Is this when you consider homeschooling? Something must give.
 
I had 2 level 10s (one was L10 at 10yo , the other at 12 yo) and they always went to Brick and Mortar school , no homeschooling. They were dismissed every day at 1:30 pm for our 2 hour+ commute (each way) to arrive by 4 pm for practice...they ate a snack on the way up ad did homework...at 8:30 pm, they got back in the car for the drive home, ate dinner and finished any homework. I drove my van with the lights on like a city bus! When we got home around 10:30 pm, they jumped in the shower and went to bed. They were both good students and went to parochial schools (who were GREAT with their schedules) and one did some AP, one didn't. Both got D1 full rides. Both qualified and placed at JO Nationals multiple years.

They didn't do a ton of other outside activities besides gymnastics , especially when the hours ramped up it was mainly gym...but we took family vacations, they went to Father Daughter dances, proms etc. I put my foot down on those things telling the coach "looking back they won't remember going to every Friday night practice but they WILL remember not going to Prom so it's not up for debate, period". You can give them a normal life but you have to be the gatekeeper.
 
My daughter is in sixth grade and has started training at level 9. Last year, she attended a private school where academics were the only focus. While she had attended this school since third grade, it was only when she moved to middle school( the school starts middle school at fifth grade) that we saw a huge jump in anxiety. Trying to balance her anxiety, workload increase plus increase training hours began to take a toll on her general well-being. We ended up switching her to Montessori this year where she can learn at her own pace. While I’m sure there are some gymnasts who could handle high academic expectations at a young age she is not one of them. She continues to have homework( a lot less) and works on it to and from practice. As for outside social interests, She has been lucky this year that all fun school activities are on her night off from practice. As for NCAA ambitions, she currently has no clue what she wants to be when she grows up so we are currently just enjoying her gymnastics journey.
 
I went to community college for my Junior and Senior years of high school and that was super efficient. It was easy to get classes and homework done in 4 hours per day. I also earned a lot more college credit at CC than I could have earned doing APs. I plan for my kids to do the same program.
 
My son had an alternate schedule. He went to school for "zero" hour, then left at 12 every day for practice. (2-6).

That being said, he did not take AP or honors classes. He was still high achieving and did well, but I really wanted him to be able to also enjoy high school. He attended football games, dances, and did a couple of clubs.

He did homework in the car or after practice.
 
I think it really depends on the person.. everyone is different in how they handle stress and also everyone has different priorities. I will say that my daughter has managed to juggle it all without compromising anything, although she amazes me everyday and I know I could never have done that. And it's all coming from her as I am not a high pressure parent.

But anyway, she's a multi year level 10 and in 11th grade. She goes to a regular public high school with her friends, some of whom she's had since elementary school. She has never done any kind of early release or accommodations for gymnastics. In high school, her schedule has pretty much been leave for school at 7:00am, school from 7-2:15, home or clubs or hanging out with friends from 2:15-3:15, practice 3:30-8:30. Dinner, homework, hanging out until about 11:00. She doesn't have a ton of homework, but she does some of it when she can at school, after practice and on weekends (she has practice M-F). On weekends, she hangs out with friends, catches up on homework and works most Saturdays doing parties at the gym.

She misses practices occasionally for a friend party or football game. She'll definitely miss for the prom. She used to worry more about missing, but kind of outgrew that.. lol. She belongs to an academy at school, is in 4-5 clubs including NHS and Key Club which requires a lot of volunteer hours and on her high school gymnastics team. She has a 4.0 unweighted and about a 4.5 weighted GPA and is in many AP and honors classes. She has a lot of friends and is happy. On days where practice is canceled, she is bored and doesn't know what to do. lol. She likes to be busy and has no regrets from what she has told me. Plus most of her friends that aren't in gymnastics are equally busy with other sports or working so she doesn't feel like she is missing much. I do think she is lucky that she doesn't have a ton of homework. Her brothers took many of the same classes and they were much busier with homework, so I think some of it is that she is very efficient with her time. She literally doesn't have the time to procrastinate.

Anyway, I'm just trying to provide a little encouragement. From when she started preteam on, I was worried about when she would reach the point where she couldn't juggle it all anymore. But we just took it year by year and it all worked out in the end for her. And she has quite a few teammates that are just like her too. So it is possible! Good luck!
 
TLDR version: You have to decide what works best for you, your daughter and your family. There are no right or wrong paths, just opinions, and an almost infinite number of combinations that allow your child to balance school and gym. Always trade-offs, but those trade-offs are valued differently with different families.

My child is in an online program. She commutes 2 hours each way, practicing from 12-5 (5:30 by the time she is walking out of gym) M-F. She attended middle school at a brick and mortar but was subject to ridicule and bullying due to her size. Not that it caused much issue as she still had plenty of friends and maintains a few of them but she did not like the in-person experience (in addition to the fights, bomb threats, active shooter drills, teen drama, etc) and was/is more than happy to do her schoolwork online. We thought about putting her in AP classes, but as she was being recruited it became apparent that fortunately (or unfortunately depending upon your point of view) that AP classes were just not worth the extra effort and stress. Her grades were more than adequate just taking honors courses to allow her to be admitted to any program (although didn't go through the Ivy process despite Penn's best efforts). As far as extra-curriculars she spends plenty of time with her gym mates, attends concerts and football games with friends. I am sure everyone who has had a child go through upper levels can relate similar stories and trade-offs that they felt they could compromise on or not. But again, it is really up to you and your family.

I will say, and this might be an unpopular opinion, if she genuinely and realistically is on the college path, then academics becomes a little less high stakes. Right or wrong, the college athletes have a completely different college experience and are afforded different admissions processes and academic support. So for us, as I mentioned, the trade-off was not fretting over doing AP courses (preferred) or dual enrollment (less preferred) but just taking honor courses and working on getting good grades in those. AP courses don't really kick in till junior year anyway, by that time she will know if she is going to be strongly recruited or not.
 

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