T&T Behaviour issues. (Parents and coaches, please weigh in!)

[Teri Mooney]

I think you should have a meeting with her parents and make it very clear with them that their daughter's behaviour is completely unacceptable and inappropriate and if it continues then you will have no choice but to remove her from the class

 

[e'smum]

just from the dad's response, it sounds like they know she's handsy. maybe not in a mean way but definitely in an inappropriate way. however, the dad should be the one enforcing that rule from home and perhaps he is not.

however, the mouthiness and disrespect is not ok in any class. if she gets away with it, your other students will have then learned it's ok to be that way with authority figures.

i would approach both the HC and parents with an initial, we love having your child in class and this is a rec class so we like to keep it lighthearted and fun but we expect her to be mindful of the rules and what her coaches ask her to do and any further behavior like this will end up with her being sat out or asked to leave the class that day.

i'm dealing with a child who is handsy and mouthy to other kids if he doesn't like their behavior. and this is at our church's VBS (last day tomorrow!). he went to kindergarten with my son but then went to a different town grade school after that. i've heard from the mom he's been labeled a trouble maker. now i can see why. and i see the exact behavior at VBS that she told me is happening at school. the mom dismisses it as in he gets frustrated easily, ect... in VBS it's a 3 hour camp for a week and i can deal and he can go off and sulk and i can put him in a different group to give some of the kids a break but in school, it's a set class and every day. his teachers must be pulling their hair out. i could not deal with him on a daily basis.

 

[ayyyrial]

Attention-seeking is frustrating as a coach but it also always worries me. Most kids need a lot of attention from the adults in their life - as a kid your parents are the most important people in the world, and other adults (especially teachers) are also very important. And sometimes if they aren't getting positive (or general neutral attention) they go for any kind of attention and act out. It also sounds like she might be copying how her parents treat her or others.

But anyway. The first step is definitely talking to the parents, which you've done. I think maybe a quiet meeting with a parent before or after class would be a good idea - give you a little more time to figure out what's going on and where the parents are at. It's good to ask if she has any behavior issues at school as well (and if so how they're dealing with it), or how the parents are dealing with behavior issues and grief at home. That way she can have consistent rules all day. I try to approach it with parents not as "hey your kid was bad" but as seeking information: "how do you address these issues? I want to learn from you." (even if you mostly just want to tell them their kid was bad)

I also think a pretty strict "no contact" policy is good (except for spotting) - for kids and coaches. No hugs, no playfighting. You could tell the whole class about the rules for any kind of misbehavior - e.g. first you get a warning, then you sit out for 10 minutes, then you sit out for the class. But if a kid hits you it's an automatic 10 minutes out. That way they know what to expect. It's hard if you can't get the head coach to support a "sitting out" policy.

 

[txgymfan]

This thread is from 2015. I assume the situation has been dealt with. Please do not post on old threads unless you are the OP giving an update.