Anon Bullying for multiple years

[Anonymous (674e)]

I will try to keep this short. My daughter has been dealing with several bullies on her team for the past 2 seasons. I have spoken to her head coach many times about this and most of the time I am told there isn't much that can be done because the coaches aren't seeing/hearing it happening so they have no proof and can't take one girl's word over another (which I think is a cop out). Usually head coach will sit the whole team down and remind them to be nice to each other. There have been one on one parent meetings with the 2 gymnasts who aren't getting along and their parents but to no avail. We have begged and pleaded for them to keep a close eye on certain girls and even sent videos of behavior but unfortunately in the video you can't hear things being said. I am starting to think these gymnasts are being protected because I just don't see how the coaches don't see it. My daughter spent most of a recent practice on the verge of tears, she started to cry on her way out of the gym and while both coaches asked if she was okay both were oblivious to the way she had been treated for 4 hours straight by her teammates and she was so upset she couldn't speak and just wanted to get out of there. Another conversation was had and they are finally trying to separate the girls but there have still been zero consequences for the behavior even with several other girls confirming what my daughter has told us and the coaches they still say they don't have enough proof. My daughter loves her gym and her coaches too even though they aren't very helpful in this situation and she doesn't want to leave but I am very close to making that decision for her for her own mental health. Has anyone else dealt with a situation like this? How did you provide proof?

 

[Anonymous (62f0)]

Usually the problem takes care of itself. The bully or some of the bully's BFF's quit and the dynamic on the team changes. Or they just mature and decide life is better when everyone gets along. But since you are a couple years into this you may have to force a gym change. There was a bully on my DD's team when she was a tween. In this case the coach didn't feel like he could go to the mom of the bully because she would not be supportive so he was trying to fix things on his own. I agreed with him that the mom would not be supportive but I also thought it was a cop out too. I had just started looking into other teams for my DD when the bully abruptly quit. I'm sorry your DD is going through this. It's hard.

 

[Dahlialover]

I will try to keep this short. My daughter has been dealing with several bullies on her team for the past 2 seasons. I have spoken to her head coach many times about this and most of the time I am told there isn't much that can be done because the coaches aren't seeing/hearing it happening so they have no proof and can't take one girl's word over another (which I think is a cop out). Usually head coach will sit the whole team down and remind them to be nice to each other. There have been one on one parent meetings with the 2 gymnasts who aren't getting along and their parents but to no avail. We have begged and pleaded for them to keep a close eye on certain girls and even sent videos of behavior but unfortunately in the video you can't hear things being said. I am starting to think these gymnasts are being protected because I just don't see how the coaches don't see it. My daughter spent most of a recent practice on the verge of tears, she started to cry on her way out of the gym and while both coaches asked if she was okay both were oblivious to the way she had been treated for 4 hours straight by her teammates and she was so upset she couldn't speak and just wanted to get out of there. Another conversation was had and they are finally trying to separate the girls but there have still been zero consequences for the behavior even with several other girls confirming what my daughter has told us and the coaches they still say they don't have enough proof. My daughter loves her gym and her coaches too even though they aren't very helpful in this situation and she doesn't want to leave but I am very close to making that decision for her for her own mental health. Has anyone else dealt with a situation like this? How did you provide proof?

It sounds like you have done everything you can possibly do short of leaving. It’s important to teach girls not to accept mistreatment. She deserves better.