Parents bummed out mom

[dazed]

So, I hate to admit that I had high expectation of my dd in gymnastics, although I don't believe I was one to push her hard. But after much deliberation, my dh and I decided to pull our dd out of her current level and put her into rec, level 1. She was in an invitation only group, where future teams are formed. My dd said she was tired of the coach "yelling all the time". Plus I could see it in her face that she was a little less than thrilled to be there sometimes. I actually cried. Anyway, has anyone else experienced this or know anyone who has? I'm hoping that moving her will re-ignite something in her, because her coach said she has a lot of potential. In the grand scheme of things I know it's not that big a deal, but I feel like I've let her down some how. Hope all is going well for your kids!

 

[gym law mom]

Don't think you failed her or its your fault. We went through the coach yelling all summer and all that my daughter could think of was how she was dreading going to practice. If she's not happy then get her out of the situation and see how she does in another class with another coach. It may be that she wasn't quite ready for a more intense program, the coach didn't know how to work with kids that young etc. If she loves gymnastics then she'll find her way and you'll be spending many more years in the gym. If not, then encourage other activities and don't look at this experience as a failure, but rather learning. There are quite a few on this board that have left the gym and come back later----leave all options open and let her have fun.

 

[midwestgymmom]

Don't think you failed her or its your fault. We went through the coach yelling all summer and all that my daughter could think of was how she was dreading going to practice. If she's not happy then get her out of the situation and see how she does in another class with another coach. It may be that she wasn't quite ready for a more intense program, the coach didn't know how to work with kids that young etc. If she loves gymnastics then she'll find her way and you'll be spending many more years in the gym. If not, then encourage other activities and don't look at this experience as a failure, but rather learning. There are quite a few on this board that have left the gym and come back later----leave all options open and let her have fun.

Good Post GLM!!

 

[Monkeygirlsmom]

I do not think you failed her to me it seems like you are doing her good since you see she needs to go back to Fun!!!

 

[purpleterah]

First I'd like to second GLM response.
I'd like to give you a round of applause becuase you had the God given sense to see your DD was not happy so you made adjustments. I see day in and day out parents not as wise as you forcing their kids to do gym when thier heart isn't in it. It takes away from the kids that really want to be there. You are not a failure you are a treasure. Kudos. Even if your DD doesn't do competitive gymnastics her gym training will make her a superior athlete in any other sport she choses.
Danielle

 

[Tuduri]

Don't be bummed, Dazed.

I concur with GLM's sage advice.


Maybe if you were to find a different gym and a coach who has a nicer style and approach, your daughter might not be so alienated and would enjoy gymnastics more. As she gets older, she'll develop a tougher skin and grouchy coaches won't be a problem anymore. I've said this before, some of the grouchy coaches are the best. They're like medicine that's hard to swallow. As you get older it's easier because you understand better the importance of taking the medicine. She'll understand this as she matures. But in the meantime, you've got to make sure she is in an environment conducive to her being happy.

When my daughter was in level five, we scheduled a private with our gym's optional head coach. She was grouchy, I knew, but a very good coach. We were training for TOPs and my daughter needed to work on her press hand stands. I left the gym for a few minutes to use an ATM. When I returned, my daughter was on the beam doing press handstands. She didn't immediately see me. I counted 1,2,3,4,5! Wow, I thought, she'd never done five presses in a row. I was ecstatic.

But after the fifth press, my dd did see me. She batted her eyes and her hands began to quiver. She fell off the beam at that point. The coach stood over her and growled at her to get up and stop crying. She didn't display one ounce of sympathy or caring. My daughter was so upset that we never did another private with her again. Thinking back to that moment, I thank God that this person was not her regular coach at the time. She might well have so alienated my daughter that dd might not have wanted to continue in gymnastics.

We were fortunate to survive that experience and my daughter is now entering level eight. She still doesn't like grouchy coaches. But she has grown up a lot in the last two years. She has a tougher skin, so to speak, and a strong will. No one, at this point, could get in her way of enjoying gymnastics., not even a snarling pitbull of a coach.

It may be as simple as changing the scenery in terms of the gym and the coach's personality. You should investigate other gymns in the area and watch their class and coaches. Talk to some of the parents who will undoubtedly be there.

Good luck,

Tuduri

 

[dazed]

not-so-bummed anymore mom

Well, after just two classes, my dd has perked up and is having fun again, especially since she's in the same class as her best friend. I've spoken to other parents about us leaving and every one of them has said they have moved also, or were thinking about moving. I feel bad for the coach because I know she means well and she'd be perfect for the right kids. But I also feel she could aproach things a little differently and not get so visibly upset when she see's her charges not performing up to her standards. She has a strong drive in everything that she does and I think she carries that over to everyone else too. Anyway, thanks for all the words of encouragement. Sometimes it helps hearing from others so I can see both sides of the coin

 

[Ingymmom]

Dazed, glad that your dd is doing better and soooo glad to hear that she is still enjoying gymnastics... it sounds like you stepped in at the right time. Honestly, I would get tired of someone yelling at me all the time too, gymnastics should be fun... who knows, the day may come when your dd decides that team is the option for her again. Maybe not with the same coach or even at the same gym, or maybe she will find something she enjoys even more. Good luck to you and your little one.

 

[gymgirl0805's Mom]

Glad she is liking gymnastics again My oldest was having issues at gymnastics too so we switched gyms... she's MUCH happier!! My youngest is still doing well at the other gym so she stayed!

 

[gymnomore]

You didn't mention how old your daughter is, but, either way you look at it, a coach should not be yelling all the time. Keep your child away from that coach! Trust me, I've been there. It's too bad that your daughter had to step back, so you might want to look at another gym where she can progress in a more positive environment.