WAG CGM Confession

[AgingHippie]

As some of you may know from other posts DD is an L5 and she doesn't have her flyaway yet, she is still getting spotted. Actually nobody on her team does and our in house meet is coming up. Our first outside meet is still 4 weeks away.

Last night at pick up I heard some other mom's on our team scheduling privates specifically for that reason. The rational part of me says we are already paying so much and she will get it when she gets it. She is close. Then there is that other voice, the CGM, fighting to break free. The other kids are going to have an advantage she does not. I am not proud of these feelings people and needed to get them off my chest because I find I am thinking about it more than I should be (I shouldn't be thinking about this at all). Make it stop!

 

[profmom]

The things you know that you already know: She will get it in her own good time. In house meets are even more meaningless than early season invitationals. Scheduling privates will just raise the pressure and stakes with regard to this one skill. In six months you will wonder what the fuss was all about. It's a marathon, not a sprint. A penny saved is a penny that you will surely find a way to spend later.

Have a virtual hug, girlfriend. And a glass of your favorite relaxing beverage. This too shall pass.

 

[GymCMLA]

Oh....that parental game of whack-a-mole!!! Whacking down the CGM thoughts and letting them go (for real). Hugs! The goal isn't the in-house meet or the first meet...its much bigger and farther away. Stay strong and relax..she'll get it!

 

[Sasha]

Oh we can all relate! Vent and confess away!

We have used privates in a few instances, but not for something that the whole team is still working on, and not to be ready for an in-house meet.

There are girls on my DD's team who take 2-3 privates with different event coaches EVERY WEEK. Money isn't an issue for their families, and they enjoy it and it helps them, so that's great if it works for them. And it surely helps the coaches, who are not rolling in dough, to continue to afford to keep the job they love. I'd go crazy if I started being too envious of that model, though. Not saying you are envious - but that is MY personal weakness - envy of folks who can give their kids opportunities that I can't.

Then I remember how privileged I am to be talking about gymnastics at all instead of problems most people of the world have, and I'm back to my senses.

 

[duyetanh]

Then I remember how privileged I am to be talking about gymnastics at all instead of problems most people of the world have, and I'm back to my senses.

AMEN

 

[duyetanh]

I think the question you should be asking yourself (and this is not a CGM question) is this: Would you want to schedule a private to help your daughter get this *#%*! flyaway (I have lots of love for that trick also!) if you had a. not heard these moms, and b. you felt she was close to getting it independently?

The other thing I would rationalize is how much time does she get on bars per practice. IF she only gets 15 minutes out of the hour due to taking turns and limited equipment in terms of working on the skill, well, then I will go against the grain and say, hell yes, I'd schedule one...because if she was thisssssss close, well then that leeeeetle bit might push it over to the other side. I'd probably see about a half hour one though.

The last (and final, I promise) thing is this, and I think it is the most important one: How does your daughter feel about where she is at right now skillwise? I remember vaguely (sorry) details about wanting some days off and struggling with level 5's challenges (of which there are many), as well as the 36 score out-wow, I am proud of myself, I actually remember quite a bit, lol-soooo......here is what I would do in your situation, and take it for whatever you like:

I would not schedule anything unless it was brought up to me by my child and then we would discuss it. If she was getting enough bars time, I would say it's on you to pay for it. If I felt she was NOT getting enough bars time, I would offer to split the cost. This way your dd would really take the private seriously. Some people might say, well if she is getting enough bar time, it is worth paying for, but I personally disagree. The amount of time actually spent ON the bars (NOT waiting for a turn on them) is so crucial to success on bars!!! And again, I would just book a half hour, purely flyaway focus please. This might sound like I am being a hard arse, but I truly believe that while privates DO help in certain circumstances, what you are describing doesn't warrant it. But I so get the frustration and feelings, and I am sorry-it's crazy how we can get ourselves going on stuff that in the big picture of life isn't a big picture. Thinking good thoughts over here...

 

[gymdoc]

So, ODD had flyaway issues this summer. Some of her teammates had it and some didn't, and score out meet was looming in September, so we scheduled a private. Didn't help at all!! In fact, I agree with above poster that it put even more pressure on her! She finally got it, on her own terms, at the LAST POSSIBLE day, before the score out meet. She hasn't looked back since, and is now doing push-away flyaways and working on layouts like she never had an issue.

 

[duyetanh]

In regards to pressure, I think it depends on your chold and how they handie and process things. My dd would greatly benefit from a private for a particular skill;another girl on her team would put way too much pressure on herself afterwards, so it would not be worth doing one.

 

[needcoffee]

That beeping fly away is also my daughters current nope. We are really lucky in that we have the option of a half turn release with a 9.5 SV should it not come, but in your case I don't think there's anything CGM about getting a private to help her with it? Often there's so many kids in a group that they only get x amount of time on bars, and some just need a little more.

If privates are a thing at your gym (they're not really at ours) I definitely don't think it makes you crazy to consider it.

 

[UnoMas]

I would absolutely not care one bit about the in house meet. If she is very close in 3 weeks when the real meet is approaching then I might consider it. I say this as a parent of 3 gymmies who aren't the most vocal or forceful in practice so the tiny bit of extra one on one time in a private has made a big difference with some pesky skills in the past. However if she is not close then I would not do a private. Either way she will get the skill eventually and it will be ok. You are not a CGM or you would have scheduled multiple privates by now

 

[Deleted member 18037]

I'm not against privates. We have done them. We usually do them for what I would call the little stuff, the tenth to death stuff. Which I personally don't feel they get to work on in practice. But we do them closer to states.

Because to for us its about growth. And our coaches feel the same way. They expect them to be peaking around state time. So they don't have the same expectations at mock meet/first meet.

Big skills they come when they come, so unless I thought my kid was so close it just needed some tweaking I wouldn't. And I certainly wouldn't do it so early in the season.

Regarding having an advantage. There is likely always going to be kids having an advantage. My kid goes 3 days some kids go 4. Our kids go 9-12 hours (w/o privates), mine is one who goes 9, other gyms are at 15-18. There are kids repeating the level, even bigger advantage.

I would not stress it so early in the season. JMO, your mileage may vary.

 

[l.c.o]

Hmm. My DD has done a total of eight privates in four years, for various reasons, from learning choreography (long story), to fixing her RO-BHS, to just building confidence on bars.

In DD's second gym and this gym, some people have regular privates.

My DD needs confidence with her flyaway, so she actually has a private tentatively scheduled next month before scoring out of level 5. That said, she's been working on it on and off for over a year, and she technically pretty much has it. Just sometimes needs a light spot or coach standing there. Our goal is to boost her confidence before her "one chance" to score out of level 5 (not really her only chance ), it's not to learn to do it.

If they're still scheduled to do level 5, and all of the girls are pretty much in the same place, I wouldn't worry. Easy to say, I know!

That said, DD has done a few clinics in her gym where I've noticed other similarly-leveled girls repeatedly having privates. A small part of me was super jealous and tried to go CGM. I suspect this happens to most of us from time to time.

 

[cadybearsmommy]

I don't think privates are necessarily a bad thing. It's all about what you put into it. If you say, I'm booking this private for you so you can get your flyaway before this in house meet, then the pressure goes sky high for your dd. However, if you ask her if she would like a private to work on bars and she responds positively and you have no expectation going into it at all, I think it could be beneficial for her whether she gets the flyaway or not. I agree with the other posters I would probably not worry about it for the in house meet, give it a few weeks and if the first real meet is getting close and she is still having trouble then ask her what she thinks about a private but keep it very low key. I don't think just booking a private makes you a CGM by any means, nothing is wrong with giving your gymmie the extra tools she may need. It's all about how you go into it and what you expect out of it.

 

[Deleted member 18037]

I think scoring out puts a different spin and different pressure on kids and their skills (and their parents). As well as how gyms handle skills.

Our gym doesn't do score outs (especially in compulsories). They may score out kids in optionals based on skills.

So not having a strong kip or flyaway for level 4 or 5 doesn't matter especially at the beginning of the season because they are L4 or L5 for the year.

Our gym also doesn't move kids unless they have their skills for the level. They may need to be cleaned up or not 100% but they need to have them more often then not.

So meet season is about getting better.

We up train at our gym. So our L4 are also working in L5 skills and some of the kids are already stressing not having things like flyaways. The reality is they don't need them until August (umm 10 months from now) and first meet wont be until fall (umm a year from now).

And of course parents can create stress.

I don't stress it, my kid doesn't either. Although I am not sure if I don't stress it because she doesn't or the other way around. She is like Mom, I don't need to know that yet. Alrighty then.

Overall, reading a bunch of threads for a bit now, I think I am actually glad we don't score out at our gym. I am pretty sure part of our coaches reasons is to not have to deal with over stressed kids and parents.

 

[munchkin3]

Aging,
The feelings are normal and all us gym parents have the angel on one side, and the devil on the other......dont beat yourself up.......but now I will speak about our L5 score out meet a few months ago.

Out of 8 girls, only one had a tuck flyaway by herself.......in house meet day, everyone was wondering what was going to happen with the flyaway, and we all assumed they would be spotted, right?

Well, one by one, the girls did their most beautiful L5 routines and one by one they did they layout flyaways, with the coaches hands CLOSE, but not one was touched.......I don't think a single girl realized till after.
Don't stress, the coaches got this one!

 

[Natasha]

Aging,
The feelings are normal and all us gym parents have the angel on one side, and the devil on the other......dont beat yourself up.......but now I will speak about our L5 score out meet a few months ago.

Out of 8 girls, only one had a tuck flyaway by herself.......in house meet day, everyone was wondering what was going to happen with the flyaway, and we all assumed they would be spotted, right?

Well, one by one, the girls did their most beautiful L5 routines and one by one they did they layout flyaways, with the coaches hands CLOSE, but not one was touched.......I don't think a single girl realized till after.
Don't stress, the coaches got this one!

I'm confused, 7 of the girls did not have a tuck flyaway and then they all just threw layout flyways in a meet?

 

[Flyaway]

I totally get it. I'm fighting the urge to schedule a private myself to deal with a skill dd hasn't gotten yet. It's an uptraining skill though, and won't be used for a whole year so I'm repressing my inner CGM. It's hard to overhear those things and NOT think about how those girls might have an advantage or benefit more than your dd, but I try to look at the big picture over time. A year from now you'll (hopefully) be saying, "remember when that flyaway was a huge pain?" Then it's on to the next skill...

 

[duyetanh]

I'm confused, 7 of the girls did not have a tuck flyaway and then they all just threw layout flyways in a meet?

I think what she is saying was that they had their layout flyaways but with spots, but then were able to do it without spots at the meet. And that is awesome btw...my dd is nowhere near the layout flyaway, just does the tuck one....

 

[munchkin3]

No, they did not throw them, they all had them and we're all being lightly spotted because of fear. At the in house, coach was close, with hands close, but no touchy....
I had a CGM moment last night with my DD.....she has been avoiding something for a while....like weeks/months. She says, I don't need it yet........she is very 'comfortable' at the level she's at......I told her she needed to up her game. CGM.

 

[B.Gold]

My dd has a 1 hour private every week. Our motivation is less about acquiring skills then it is having an hour each week where we can share in our dd's sport. There are pro and cons to the privates.

She lost her flyaway at this time last year, and still doesn't have it back good enough to work and\or compete a double back for L9. And that's after, conceivably, 52 privates.

The privates may help your dd or just as likely they may add to everyone's frustration. Imagine scheduling a session to just spend working on this flyaway. Then if it doesn't help how it could mess with your dd's confidence, putting more pressure on her to get the skill.