WAG CGMs be gone

[LindyHopper]

That stinks for that little girl

I remember a day when, at the same time, DD fell off the beam and so did CGM's DD. I jumped up and gasped (it looked like it hurt), and she just shifted in her seat and said "So, I guess this is what we're getting today" with a look of utter disgust. And sadly, her DD DID get hurt, mine just laughed.

Situations like that, you want to go and hug a girl, even though she's not yours.

 

[Seeker]

Ugh...I hate to hear stories like that. Witnessed it at our former gym and I just wanted to give that girl a puppy. I cannot imagine the conversations that go on behind closed doors.

 

[hearts_and_stars]

We've got a couple CGMs in our gym and I do my absolute best to avoid them. They are constantly on their kid, pushing them to be perfect, pushing them to do 'one more repetition,' etc. When they're not berating their kid, their bragging about said kid to other parents. We are a gym whose rec and team practices overlap so she is mostly bragging about her kid to rec parents who may or may not have an interest in moving onto team. They basically let everyone within earshot know their special little snowflake is a superstar. Some of our more outspoken moms will come in after a meet and ask them how their kid did (usually, not superstar scores)...I prefer to just keep my distance and let it work itself out.

 

[Deleted member 14190]

We've been at our gym for 3.5 years. 2 of those years have been with the team. Thankfully, we have very few if any CGMS. Everyone tries to be supportive of their own and each other's girls. That, and we all tend to trust that our coaches know what they're doing.

So today was the first practice of the new season. Our optional practice overlaps by a half hour with our compulsory practice. Well, our team has grown significantly, and there were a lot of new girls and their parents.

When the Optional practice ended, one of the new girls came out to her mom, who was immediately on her case "Why did you waste a whole hour on bars? Why didn't you do X skill? Did they know you can do X skill? Did you tell them you can do X skill? Did you ASK to do X skill? Then you need to tell them to move you to a group that you can do X skill." This poor girl looked miserable. She had just walked out of a 4-hour practice with new coaches and new teammates in a new gym to be berated by her mother.

I didn't say anything, but I really wanted to turn around and say "if you are so unsatisfied with the coaching your daughter is getting after just ONE practice, then please, find another gym. We don't need your kind of attitude here".

I feel better now that I've vented to people who will understand. Hopefully she's the only one. I really hope the rest of the new parents aren't like her.

As A coach, please do say something! As a human being just turn a blind eye. .

 

[JoyAvenueMom]

And this, my CB friends, is why Kipper's gym has a "no viewing" policy. Well, except the last half hour, where you can watch all the splits and rope climbs your heart desires. I didn't understand at first. Stories like this make it all too clear.

 

[CLgym]

Perfect timing for this post -- I needed an anti-CGM reminder. DD had level testing today with a fancy color code system judging how "clean" a skill looks - and I suddenly found myself asking questions about it (e.g., Did you get any greens? etc.). Ugh! I'm so embarrassed... HELP!

 

[munchkin3]

Perfect timing! I was sucked into the vortex of a CGM today, trying to help her.......then finding myself sticking up for gym owner and why he can't pay for all her travel expenses.....why he is not a bad person because of the meet schedule.......oh yeah, and that her DD better work, because she's not paying for a dime unless she comes in 1/2/3 this competition season...........[emoji33][emoji33][emoji33][emoji33][emoji33][emoji33] get me outta here!!!!!!!!

 

[Deleted member 14190]

Perfect timing! I was sucked into the vortex of a CGM today, trying to help her.......then finding myself sticking up for gym owner and why he can't pay for all her travel expenses.....why he is not a bad person because of the meet schedule.......oh yeah, and that her DD better work, because she's not paying for a dime unless she comes in 1/2/3 this competition season...........[emoji33][emoji33][emoji33][emoji33][emoji33][emoji33] get me outta here!!!!!!!!

If your not around her you don't have to listen to her.

 

[3rd_time_around]

I was a CGM yesterday, but about leotard sizing. I literally agonized for over an hour and made my dd miss about 20 min of practice changing back and forth. Then I fretted because another girl who is exactly the same size and shape got the smaller size, so I went back and agonized over it again with the owner! Lord help me! This is not my first rodeo! (I used to be IN CHARGE of sizing everyone, but can't do my own child? LOL!)

 

[munchkin3]

If your not around her you don't have to listen to her.

I got sucked in! My friend was looking at me like. 'Why are you talking to her.....run away!'......I was just trying to listen to her for a moment since everyone steers clear of her. Then I remembered why.....
Mistake noted, not to be repeated.

 

[munchkin3]

I was a CGM yesterday, but about leotard sizing. I literally agonized for over an hour and made my dd miss about 20 min of practice changing back and forth. Then I fretted because another girl who is exactly the same size and shape got the smaller size, so I went back and agonized over it again with the owner! Lord help me! This is not my first rodeo! (I used to be IN CHARGE of sizing everyone, but can't do my own child? LOL!)

This is not CGMing.....those leotards are expensive!!!!!

 

[lovemygymnast]

Well, there are 2 CGM's who followed us from old gym to new gym. I avoid both like the plague and honestly don't even know their names but I know their poor kids. CGM#1 would scream at her kid from the upstairs "Pay attention!!", "Do it right!", just constantly fussing at the poor kid. She did it at old gym too and of course, they talked to her about it so she left. Fast forward to new gym and I'm just guessing it's not tolerated here because she has toned down a lot. But my dd said one day after practice, "I feel so sorry for her!! Why does her mom yell at her like that?".

CGM#2 was at old gym and would shout orders from parent viewing. I'm not sure anyone said anything to her about it though because both her girls were optionals. I do know, I tried to watch my dd one day of L4 and this particular CGM decided she needed to come over and explain to me every detail of what my dd was doing wrong on bars!! Seriously? I didn't care what she was doing wrong, we're proud of her! Now, if I asked, completely different story. Anyway, she left that gym & went to another gym before moving back to new gym (where they apparently started before going to old gym). So, guess she's never quite satisfied with any gym. But she's constantly on the phone talking really loud about her dd's fear issues (the other one quit) and how she's sick of watching how bad it is and she can't compete without skills and nobody is doing anything about it! I think she's on the phone talking because nobody at the gym allows themselves to get sucked into her crazy!! I just don't make eye contact! [emoji23]

 

[Deleted member 14190]

I got sucked in! My friend was looking at me like. 'Why are you talking to her.....run away!'......I was just trying to listen to her for a moment since everyone steers clear of her. Then I remembered why.....
Mistake noted, not to be repeated.

the good (or bad) news is she won't be around for more than a few years. And it's extremely common for them to start out with a mysterious illness a few times a week and when that eventually fails to work they fake an injury to force retirement, because they are terrified to tell the parent.

 

[duyetanh]

the good (or bad) news is she won't be around for more than a few years. And it's extremely common for them to start out with a mysterious illness a few times a week and when that eventually fails to work they fake an injury to force retirement, because they are terrified to tell the parent.

Wow. This post came at a very telling time. We have one doing that right now...always has an injury...and my kid tells me she never does anything. It's wild.

 

[Deleted member 14190]

Wow. This post came at a very telling time. We have one doing that right now...always has an injury...and my kid tells me she never does anything. It's wild.

Its more common than you think, and once the kids parents commit financially to an MRI (which showed some tiny abnormality so that must be it) and a bunch of PT the kid is now committed to following through with the whole long act. I have literally called it out prior to it happening on several occasions. Had meetings with the parents, 'hey guy I think she might be interested in doing something else", "oh no she loves the sport and will never quit, she told me so". yea, okay.... I have seriously watched parents dump thousands upon thousands on treatment and MRI's, but poor Suzzie just can't run it hurts her back/ankle/whatever, and it just won't heal. Fast forward a year later and they quit then go into cheer the next week and wow, everything healed right up! It's really not the kids fault, they just want out.

 

[MILgymFAM]

the good (or bad) news is she won't be around for more than a few years. And it's extremely common for them to start out with a mysterious illness a few times a week and when that eventually fails to work they fake an injury to force retirement, because they are terrified to tell the parent.

Wow. This post came at a very telling time. We have one doing that right now...always has an injury...and my kid tells me she never does anything. It's wild.

Don't assume, and please don't encourage your DD assume, that it's all faking. For a kid who very well may not be faking, that could be the straw that breaks the camel's back.

About a year and a half ago my YDD would get sick at almost every practice. The coaches would always ask (sometimes mockingly) why she was always in the bathroom. We got a celiac diagnosis not too long after and it turns out her before gym snack was always making her stomach upset. New diet, no more sickness- definitely not faking, even though coaches were sure she was.

Fast forward to this year and my YDD is always hurt. She sprained her wrist, then her foot, then fractured her other wrist, then sprained her ankle. Every time- even when it was partially their fault- her coaches have thought she was faking and didn't hide it. Just yesterday her coach insisted she may not wear her tiger paws anymore and asked how long does she really need to tape her ankle.

I can honestly say that her treatment by this coach is well on it's way to pushing her out of the sport. She admitted to me she's thinking of quitting. Had her teammates echoed the coach's feelings, it would've seriously hurt her heart and she'd probably be done already. Try to give kids the benefit of the doubt, you lose nothing and they might need the support.

 

[lovemygymnast]

Its more common than you think, and once the kids parents commit financially to an MRI (which showed some tiny abnormality so that must be it) and a bunch of PT the kid is now committed to following through with the whole long act. I have literally called it out prior to it happening on several occasions. Had meetings with the parents, 'hey guy I think she might be interested in doing something else", "oh no she loves the sport and will never quit, she told me so". yea, okay.... I have seriously watched parents dump thousands upon thousands on treatment and MRI's, but poor Suzzie just can't run it hurts her back/ankle/whatever, and it just won't heal. Fast forward a year later and they quit then go into cheer the next week and wow, everything healed right up! It's really not the kids fault, they just want out.

How sad that the kids don't feel they can just say it. I've seen this a few times also. I know one girl that would've been competing 9 but suddenly her shoulder just gave her too much pain. She went through the whole MRI thing too then quit. Shortly they were doing cheer! But she's not the only one, there's been several like this.

I don't think any of us want to see our kids quit a sport they love. Really sad!

 

[Deleted member 14190]

Don't assume, and please don't encourage your DD assume, that it's all faking. For a kid who very well may not be faking, that could be the straw that breaks the camel's back.

About a year and a half ago my YDD would get sick at almost every practice. The coaches would always ask (sometimes mockingly) why she was always in the bathroom. We got a celiac diagnosis not too long after and it turns out her before gym snack was always making her stomach upset. New diet, no more sickness- definitely not faking, even though coaches were sure she was.

Fast forward to this year and my YDD is always hurt. She sprained her wrist, then her foot, then fractured her other wrist, then sprained her ankle. Every time- even when it was partially their fault- her coaches have thought she was faking and didn't hide it. Just yesterday her coach insisted she may not wear her tiger paws anymore and asked how long does she really need to tape her ankle.

I can honestly say that her treatment by this coach is well on it's way to pushing her out of the sport. She admitted to me she's thinking of quitting. Had her teammates echoed the coach's feelings, it would've seriously hurt her heart and she'd probably be done already. Try to give kids the benefit of the doubt, you lose nothing and they might need the support.

We don't assume, it's when a pattern developed and frankly we can obviously see that they are just not into gymnastics at all. Gymnastics is a tough sport and injuries do happen to all kids. But you are getting a glimpse as to why some coaches assume that injuries are not real, and it's because kids do fake them.

 

[MILgymFAM]

We don't assume, it's when a pattern developed and frankly we can obviously see that they are just not into gymnastics at all. Gymnastics is a tough sport and injuries do happen to all kids. But you are getting a glimpse as to why some coaches assume that injuries are not real, and it's because kids do fake them.

And you are getting a glimpse that sometimes- even if it looks like a pattern- it may all be real. A coach's support can go a long way and kids can tell when adults don't believe them, or believe in them. Your outlook seems cynical, just as mine probably seems naive, but again- what do you lose by giving kids the benefit of the doubt? If they're heading toward quitting they will, and if it's real it could make all the difference in the world to them.

 

[lovemygymnast]

Don't assume, and please don't encourage your DD assume, that it's all faking. For a kid who very well may not be faking, that could be the straw that breaks the camel's back.

About a year and a half ago my YDD would get sick at almost every practice. The coaches would always ask (sometimes mockingly) why she was always in the bathroom. We got a celiac diagnosis not too long after and it turns out her before gym snack was always making her stomach upset. New diet, no more sickness- definitely not faking, even though coaches were sure she was.

Fast forward to this year and my YDD is always hurt. She sprained her wrist, then her foot, then fractured her other wrist, then sprained her ankle. Every time- even when it was partially their fault- her coaches have thought she was faking and didn't hide it. Just yesterday her coach insisted she may not wear her tiger paws anymore and asked how long does she really need to tape her ankle.

I can honestly say that her treatment by this coach is well on it's way to pushing her out of the sport. She admitted to me she's thinking of quitting. Had her teammates echoed the coach's feelings, it would've seriously hurt her heart and she'd probably be done already. Try to give kids the benefit of the doubt, you lose nothing and they might need the support.

I definitely understand the ones with injuries or sickness, but for example, there was 1 girl who would suddenly need to go to the bathroom during conditioning. She would stay in there the whole time and even saw her peeking out to see if they were done! If they weren't, she'd go back in. It was obvious to everyone except her grandfather (who brought & paid for it) that she didn't want to be there. Those with real injuries & illness, you can tell they still want to work & be there.