WAG CGMs be gone

[Deleted member 14190]

And you are getting a glimpse that sometimes- even if it looks like a pattern- it may all be real. A coach's support can go a long way and kids can tell when adults don't believe them, or believe in them. Your outlook seems cynical, just as mine probably seems naive, but again- what do you lose by giving kids the benefit of the doubt? If they're heading toward quitting they will, and if it's real it could make all the difference in the world to them.

I always give my kids the benefit of the doubt, please don't project your displeasure with your current gym my way. I mean that in the nicest way.

 

[ayyyrial]

Ran into a CGM the other day at a circus class, which was surprising because most of the students are adults and the teenagers' parents usually aren't too visible. But this mom was sitting and talking with her daughter whenever her daughter wasn't on the apparatus. "Did you tell the teacher you can do X?" etc. Eventually the mom said something like "I'm being a stage mom" and went to go sit on the other side of the room, so at least she has some self-awareness. They are everywhere...dance, circus, performance, gymnastics, other sports.

 

[3rd_time_around]

There was a girl who didn't like a certain coach who ran conditioning on Mondays. Every Monday the child would throw up, either on the way to gym or during conditioning. Then she'd call her mom and go home. She was making herself sick to get out of conditioning. And Coach P is right, she started missing more than Mondays, and was "going to the doctors," and then finally stopped coming. And just recently watched a girl who was actually injured, but when she was released, she continued like she was injured--playing around, doing easier conditioning, going to the trampoline when everyone else was working hard, etc. She's moved on to a less serious place. There is a pattern with the ones who don't want to be at gym.

 

[CoachMeg]

We have a girl (competed Level 3 last year) who has been gone for a month. Her parents are convinced that she's coming back but we all know she's done. She was training for level 4 this summer when her knee started randomly hurting. It's funny because the first few months of summer everyone goes back to basics and we limit the pounding in all levels. Everything is on the low beam, tumbling is just drills, bars is just working shapes/strength, and vault is just working on running and board drills. But this girl is notoriously scared of beam, and that's when her knee first started "hurting". At first I totally believed her, gave her ice, let her rest. When her mom came in I explained to her that her daughter's knee started hurting all of a sudden, no reason, she never fell or anything, but to continue icing at home on and off. She continued this for several days with skipping everything but bars. Then the following week we had our "team camp". It's more just a fun week for all our new team members to bond with the rest of the team. We play games, have guest coaches/trainers come in (trampoline coach, ballerina, college gymnast, etc) and have fun. All week she would limp around the gym in her Walmart knee brace, but when it was time for games, she was magically not limping. Our HC caught on and told her that if she can't do gym, she shouldn't be running around during game time. Then we got a call the next day from her mom saying her daughter's knee hurts too bad so she won't be continuing camp and they're going to take her to a doctor. She went and got an x-ray and MRI from TWO different doctors, both said there was nothing wrong. It's been a month since team camp and she still hasn't returned. Her parents swear she's coming back. Even went and ordered her a new leo (she's only worn her other one for 1 year?). We told them she would have to repeat level 3 and her parents got upset....like, what did you expect?? We start competing in 3 months, she's missed over a month of practice this summer because of her "knee injury"....where the most pounding she's endured is from a round-off bhs. So yes, kids do fake injuries....but I don't always assume that.

It's pretty obvious which ones are and which ones aren't.

We have a gym klutz who is constantly doing something. She fell on the playground at school last year and tweaked her ankle pretty bad to the point she was in a boot for 6 weeks. She still came to every practice and did conditioning/stretching and some bar work. Then just a few weeks ago she stubbed her big toe on a mat and broke it! It's funny, everything she gets hurt it's not from gymnastics...but from walking. Anyway, she is still at the gym doing want she can and you can tell it's killing her to watch her teammates work new skills and she has to just watch.

THAT is the difference.

 

[z2akids]

I do have to say that just because imaging fails to show a causw for pain does not mean an injury is faked. My DD had xray and MRI for suspected spondy. Both were clean (we chose to have her do PT rather than continue with a bone scan). She is definitely not heading towards retirement. She only missed 1 practice through the injury and has managed to continue to train most skills and even add some new ones.

 

[munchkin3]

Also, remember most kids are not deviously trying to lie and invent their injuries......some may, but most are actually hurting. It can frequently be psychosomatic and the kids just don't realize they just don't want to do the gymnastics anymore. The pains are bigger than the desire to do the skill. It is very had for kids to quit after years doing gymnastics....their friends are there, they spend hours there......it's not always so easy for them to see it.......
The day many of my sons pains disappeared is when he realized he did not want to continue 'doing' gymnastics.....he was so relieved! Poor guy was so internally stressed.

 

[GymDad9.9]

We have a girl (competed Level 3 last year) who has been gone for a month. Her parents are convinced that she's coming back but we all know she's done. She was training for level 4 this summer when her knee started randomly hurting. It's funny because the first few months of summer everyone goes back to basics and we limit the pounding in all levels. Everything is on the low beam, tumbling is just drills, bars is just working shapes/strength, and vault is just working on running and board drills. But this girl is notoriously scared of beam, and that's when her knee first started "hurting". At first I totally believed her, gave her ice, let her rest. When her mom came in I explained to her that her daughter's knee started hurting all of a sudden, no reason, she never fell or anything, but to continue icing at home on and off. She continued this for several days with skipping everything but bars. Then the following week we had our "team camp". It's more just a fun week for all our new team members to bond with the rest of the team. We play games, have guest coaches/trainers come in (trampoline coach, ballerina, college gymnast, etc) and have fun. All week she would limp around the gym in her Walmart knee brace, but when it was time for games, she was magically not limping. Our HC caught on and told her that if she can't do gym, she shouldn't be running around during game time. Then we got a call the next day from her mom saying her daughter's knee hurts too bad so she won't be continuing camp and they're going to take her to a doctor. She went and got an x-ray and MRI from TWO different doctors, both said there was nothing wrong. It's been a month since team camp and she still hasn't returned. Her parents swear she's coming back. Even went and ordered her a new leo (she's only worn her other one for 1 year?). We told them she would have to repeat level 3 and her parents got upset....like, what did you expect?? We start competing in 3 months, she's missed over a month of practice this summer because of her "knee injury"....where the most pounding she's endured is from a round-off bhs. So yes, kids do fake injuries....but I don't always assume that.

It's pretty obvious which ones are and which ones aren't.

We have a gym klutz who is constantly doing something. She fell on the playground at school last year and tweaked her ankle pretty bad to the point she was in a boot for 6 weeks. She still came to every practice and did conditioning/stretching and some bar work. Then just a few weeks ago she stubbed her big toe on a mat and broke it! It's funny, everything she gets hurt it's not from gymnastics...but from walking. Anyway, she is still at the gym doing want she can and you can tell it's killing her to watch her teammates work new skills and she has to just watch.

THAT is the difference.

As a parent of a young gymnast, I find your hanging of this child's "dirty laundry" for all to see somewhat troubling.

 

[sce]

As a parent of a young gymnast, I find your hanging of this child's "dirty laundry" for all to see somewhat troubling.

She has not named the child and is giving a clear comparison of two different situations of an injured athlete. It helped me understand the perception of some "injuries" maybe having more to do with the child's mental vs physical state. I imagine it is discouraging for coaches to have an athlete going through this.

 

[duyetanh]

She has not named the child and is giving a clear comparison of two different situations of an injured athlete. It helped me understand the perception of some "injuries" maybe having more to do with the child's mental vs physical state. I imagine it is discouraging for coaches to have an athlete going through this.

I actually found it enlightening. I honestly never saw this before until this year with a child and wondered how she kept getting so hurt when she really seemed fine. It's all about perspective of course, but I appreciate the post.

 

[GymDad9.9]

I actually found it enlightening. I honestly never saw this before until this year with a child and wondered how she kept getting so hurt when she really seemed fine. It's all about perspective of course, but I appreciate the post.

I never said it wasn't enlightening; this is a coach providing intimate details, including medical, of an unnamed child she coaches, the behavior of parents, the condescension of both. Too much information and in poor taste.

 

[duyetanh]

I never said it wasn't enlightening; this is a coach providing intimate details, including medical, of an unnamed child she coaches, the behavior of parents, the condescension of both. Too much information and in poor taste.

Like I said, it's all about perspective. For me it isn't a problem, and I appreciated the info. And, said kindly, I never said you didn't say it wasn't enlightening. But for me, it was.

 

[CoachMeg]

As a parent of a young gymnast, I find your hanging of this child's "dirty laundry" for all to see somewhat troubling.

I don't think I revealed too much that it showed anyone's identity. I never said the gymnast's name, age, parents' names, what gym I'm from, or even what state I'm from. The only thing revealed in my post was that she was a level 3 (I only included this information to show the amount of pounding this particular gymnast has endured....which is not much. Had I not disclosed her level, knee pain could be quite common for, say, a level 8/9/10) and that I'm from the USA (which is displayed on the left side with my username). Not much else is revealed. I was stating how this particular gymnast had prior fear issues, and moving up to a new level definitely triggered them. I was also trying to show that parents can spend hundreds or thousands of dollars in medical care for something that is most likely mental and not physical...even to the extent of going to 2 different doctors because the first doctor didn't see anything wrong. Then I showed the flip side of a girl who does get hurt quite frequently, but her heart is still in the sport and her making the commitment to come to practice and do what she can shows it. My post was trying to show that coaches don't just assume that frequent injuries = faking. Instead I was trying to show two different examples of kids that get hurt frequently and the difference in who is using it as a way to get out of the sport, versus a kid that is legitimately accident prone but is still passionate about gymnastics.

This is a gymnastics forum. The purpose of this is for helping parents/gymnasts/coaches understand the sport better - both the physical side and the mental side. This thread got onto the topic of injuries vs. fake injuries and there was a debate on how to see the difference. I was merely trying to provide an example to coaches and parents that are maybe going through something similar.