coach blog explaining why he prefers "pushy parents"

[bogwoppit]

Now HFT - I do disagree that there are no pushy/crazy etc parents here. Any of the coaches here could write you a list of exactly who they thought was falling over the edge from supportive, encouraging to crazy gym parent or even gym parent from h.ell.

The funny thing is lots of new ones show up here like that, then they either hate what this place is and never come back, or they stick around and send pm's to new members to tell the new over the top parent that the locals aren't too "supportive" of the pushy types, or they chill and get with the CB groove.

The CB mods have worked hard for years to create an atmosphere that is balanced, whilst erring on the side of child friendly parenting. Most message boards have a style. People stick around. I do not think anyone protests to much here, I just think it is years of experience in the sport speaking out loud. When you have one very small kid in the sport there is just no way that what you know can be as full an experience as some of the folk who have had kids go all the way through, and even past, high school in gym.

In your OP you clearly said that you think that we here are just paying lip service to our parenting styles. For me this ain't true, it's her sport. I make her follow through with commitments and I let her know that she needs to work to the best of her ability in the gym, but I have no expectations when it comes to new skills or meet placements.

I totally believe the article you posted is talking about normal supportive parents, who want their children to do well in life as they understand how to follow through on commitments and how to dedicate themselves. YOu r comments that went with the link were not as clear.

To end it all, you say that you are pretty upset, well when you come along and imply that you think we are full of "it" as a group, you might find a whole lot of people are pretty upset with you. That is the nature of the message board beast, isn't it.

 

[ek2]

Ummmm - I think it's pretty clear that's what I said, and the reason I said I posted it. The way you've phrased your reply seems to imply some disagreement with me, and yet you've just re-stated precisely the point I made in the first place.

I've never protested against a pushy parent on CB because I've almost never seen one. To the contrary, I've defended a whole bunch of parents that were drowned in accusations of being pushy when I think all they were doing was trying to be supportive. I'm more than happy to post some examples if anyone would like? (from the threads that weren't deleted obviously).

PS: I'm not sure what I did to earn the tone I'm getting from your post Bog - especially in context of what presents as a pretty wilful misinterpretation. And I'm pretty upset about it.

I thought the article you posted was very interesting. However, I do have to disagree that there are not any pushy(in a crazy way) parents on this board. The mom who wants her kid (5 or 6 yr old) to do "all the tricks" her coach does not feel she is ready for at home. Making the excuse that she(mom) can't control little suzie and she will flip all over the house whether I set up the vaulting pit in my living room or not. I am sorry, but, as a parent you would not let little suzie run in the street or jump off the roof... so surely if you did not want her doing unsafe tricks at home you could tamp that down.
And, unfortunately there are way too many parents living their dreams through their kids. Perhaps some of those "pushy parents" who get offended by experienced gym moms (meaning their kids have been in the sport for more than a season or two) do so because they do not want to hear the mantra... it is a marathon not a sprint... but it is the truth.
Bog and many of the other posters have been there done that... and have more than anecdotal examples of "pushing" where it really does negatively impact the gymnast in the long run. Anyway off my soapbox.

 

[mariposa]

Coach Rick weighed in!
in defense of pushy parents — Gymnastics Coaching.com

 

[Mariainlv]

Dedicated and ambitious, interesting. So what some might call one off, others might call ambitious. Food for thought.

 

[Bobby]

I giggled at this response:

blog: “‘Pushy’ is the wrong adjective. We want parents supportive, consistent, dedicated and ambitious.”
responder: We want spin, spin, spin, spin, spin. If the child is dedicated and ambitious, then the parent is supportive and consistent. If the parent is dedicated and ambitious but the child is not or is but to a lesser degree, the parent is pushy.

 

[gymnut1]

I thought that was quite a clever quote when I read it.

 

[Blackie6]

Maybe I am not understanding this article fully, and I know that in the beginning it was mentioned about an 11 year old. I agree that kids should know what they are getting into, what the comittment is for competition, practice, and understand that there needs to a dedication on their part and not quit mid season, ect...

I do not agree with the part about the parents allowing for those momentary rewards like skipping practice or sleeping in or missing a practice here and there altogether. I see things differently because my daughter is younger and while dedicated to the sport, probably does not have the talent to achieve a higher level of gymnastics. However, she is just as dedicated and determined as some of the ones that are! I feel that as a parent though I need to intervene and remind her she is a KID first and an athlete second. An unplanned "break" from a practice for a family event or party or just a chance to re-charge w/some down time keeps her happy and always wanting to go back! Sometimes we have to remember we are the parents and not the coaches and are responsible for making those momments out of the gym (or off the ice) about them being a kid! Life is too short!