My 10 year old daughter came home last night frustrated and crying about a bully story at her gym (bully-12/13 y/o), she sat in our family room and told our whole family. I thought I responded appropriately and let her coach know about the situation. To my surprise he told me he was aware of it via another gymnast and was going to handle it. But where I become totally baffled is when she attended the meeting with the "bully" and her coach she recanted the notion of the girl being a bully! She told our family that it was because she didn't want to rock the boat at the gym! She didnt want her Coach to think she was any part of "drama", which is dispised of at her gym. She said she wanted the meeting to be over with as soon as she walked in his office.
Now don't get me wrong here but I am totally in awe that my own daughter chose to toss aside her integrity, honesty, and everything feeling she shared with her whole family to try and not make her Coach upset. She thought that if she down-played the bullying situations that it would go away faster and she could get back to gymnastics. I really am dumbfounded here; I don't like that my daughter can accept being bullied and lie about it to try and make it go away. I feel trapped because I can't go back to the Coach and say "Hey sorry, but my kid who loves you and respects you so much, lied. She really is getting bullied daily." I feel like my own kid finally did what many gym mums talk about; gave more weight to the Coach being happy with her than that of her mother and family. I know he is really the best Coach she has ever had and is a wonderful person to boot. But I am upset about ... I guess me being tossed.
The Coach wants a unified team of gymnasts and parents. So I would totally feel like the outcast parent if I said "forget that!... I want my kid to stand up for her self!!"
Now don't get me wrong here but I am totally in awe that my own daughter chose to toss aside her integrity, honesty, and everything feeling she shared with her whole family to try and not make her Coach upset. She thought that if she down-played the bullying situations that it would go away faster and she could get back to gymnastics. I really am dumbfounded here; I don't like that my daughter can accept being bullied and lie about it to try and make it go away. I feel trapped because I can't go back to the Coach and say "Hey sorry, but my kid who loves you and respects you so much, lied. She really is getting bullied daily." I feel like my own kid finally did what many gym mums talk about; gave more weight to the Coach being happy with her than that of her mother and family. I know he is really the best Coach she has ever had and is a wonderful person to boot. But I am upset about ... I guess me being tossed.
The Coach wants a unified team of gymnasts and parents. So I would totally feel like the outcast parent if I said "forget that!... I want my kid to stand up for her self!!"