Coaches Coaching your own daughter

[gymnastike30]

Maybe it's just me, but coaching my own DD is very frustrating. Has anyone else coached their own? Any tips to make it a little easier? I'm just tired of the attitude and lack of effort she gives me. Talk about complaining.....it's all I hear. Help!!

Sent from my ZTE N9120 using ChalkBucket mobile app

 

[bogwoppit]

Well I have seen it done really badly and that was unpleasant for all around the gym. My advice is treat her the way you would treat any other kid in her group. Tell her ahead that this is the way it has to be to be fair for everyone. Tell her of your expectations and the consequences of not falling in line. Make sure the consequences are ones you would apply to all team kids. She needs to get the difference between coaching mom and home mom. My other advice try not to talk gym at home too much, by that do not be discussing other girls in front of her, stuff she hears will get back to the gym and feelings will get hurt. If she complains about gym and refuses to train, then leave her at home.

 

[Iwannabemargo]

Nightmare - don't do it unless you have to is my advice

 

[Deleted member D3987]

my coaching staff coached our children. my wife and i were their parents. that's all.

 

[wgagym]

Unfortunately I am in the same position right now and I coached my boys as well. It is frustrating but I agree that she needs to be treated the same way and punished the same way as the other girls. As soon as I have the coaching, she will not be coached by me any longer. My issue now is she freaks out if I am not coaching her and does not want to go in the gym. That is more frustrating. It is hard to cut the apron strings when she is always with me. She is heading to 3 camps this summer and not necessarily to learn new skills but to get her used to being coached by others.

 

[bogwoppit]

We had one in our gym that was in another coaches group. She would scream across the gym for mum to come and spot her, mom obliged every time. She would also ask mom to tell her coach that she was allowed to do skills that they were not working on. Other times she would just walk away from conditioning because she did lots of gym other times etc etc. It is hard being a spoiled coaches kid, kids start to dislike them and sometimes they get ignored and shunned by other kids.

 

[wgagym]

Ick, that sounds awful! My gym parents call IJ the gym celebrity She is six but the size of a 4 year old, but can do big skills so she gets the major cute factor. The kids in her classes always want to be paired with her. It is funny to see her paired up with the 12 or 13 years olds that have a good 2 feet on her

 

[gymnastike30]

Wow, thank you so much! She absolutely gets no special treatment. She is treated as all of my other gymnast. Her attitude is what gets me. I will tell her to focus on straightening her legs and she will tell me they are straight and throw her hands up at me. We are a small starter gym. If I had another coach to send her off to...I most certainly would. I had planned on sending her to local camps this summer. I hope it helps her, because I'm about to ring her neck!

Sent from my ZTE N9120 using ChalkBucket mobile app

 

[bogwoppit]

LOL< try to resist the urge, but maybe tell her that she needs to listen as well as the other kids or she will have to sit out the rotation.

 

[iwannacoach]

I'm just tired of the attitude and lack of effort she gives me. Talk about complaining.....it's all I hear. Help!!

I'm wondering if it's a matter of her being just a little smarter than you. That (smarter) would be my first thought if she's a "tween" or older, because we all know there's nothing superior to a smart*** kid who's figured out they know it all.

My second thought is you're forgetting the first rule of coaching your own kid. So check your memory for possible infractions of the "What happens in the gym, stays in the gym". She may be flapping her arms in frustration in the gym because she knows the only way to prevent home gymnastics lectures is to draw the line very early on.

My third? Could it be that you're another "gymnastics junkie" dragging her child to the gym every day. Is it possible you've been assuming she wanted to do gymnastics, but she doesn't, because it's so obviously the greatest sport in the world.

I could go on with more, but I'm trying to get to the solution rather than the cause. You could start the process by having a long talk while doing something else to lighten the mood.....say like decorating easter eggs if you're both into it. You should take up a very generous attitude as you ease into the "long talk" by helping her understand that she's just a larger version of the baby girl? you brought home from the hospital, and on that day you swore to do your absolute best to love her for what she was for the rest of her life. Let her know that there is nothing you're going to blame her for because driving a parent crazy is part of every child's role in life. Perhaps in her case, she's become an over achiever in that regard.......

The bottom line is when you stop trying to figure her out, and behave in a way that constructively empowers her, she'll tell you what the problem is and help you find a solution.

 

[CoachTodd]

Been there, done that. It's hard when they don't put out the effort you know they can. Try to let others do the coaching if at all possible. It is difficult for them to take correction from their parent unless they are working on a skill. When we tell them how hard to work or to do something they don't want to do, they do the opposite or get mad. After that we get mad then it's just a wash.

Good luck

 

[JBS]

I am now starting to coach one of mine. She is 7...8 in a couple of months. As of now it has been easy...but I'm sure it will get more difficult.

 

[dmytv]

Truthfully, I think it is a personality thing. I could never teach my oldest dd. We would end up on some reality show, or a 20/20 who done it crime show. We are two different people and it is one of the reasons, among others, I did not make her switch when I started coaching again, On the other hand, I do coach my littlest dd. She is 6, and a bundle of joy, when it comes to coaching. She leads on all of the conditioning, She is a level 2 this season, She just listens more. Anyway, my oldest dd is a great gymnast, just not for me, and I think I am greatful for all the adults that are willing to put up with the 13 yr old!

 

[txgymfan]

Dawn, you have 2 gymnasts at 2 different gyms. That's a lot of driving. I'm glad its working out well for both your dds

 

[dmytv]

well, it takes a village....; well in this case carpooling villagers.

 

[BlairBob]

My friend has coached both his daughters, one being a L4 training L5/6 maybe 7 and a L7 training 8. Both were state champions. Both are pretty awesome and never seem a problem.

Honestly, I think it's hit and miss depending on kids and parents. I've heard of the horror stories.

I was coached by my dad as a youth in judo and baseball. There never was an issue. He said he never had to worry about me after many laps of duckwalks and army crawls when I was 5.

Most gym kids with coaching parents grow up in the gym anyways. I rarely see problems with most of them but I can think of one family where her 3 girls were all drama. One turned out to go very far in Collegiate gymnastics with a full ride after L10 (mom was a Russian elite as a youth). Other 2 might not hit higher level optionals because of a lack of being tough enough. Mom didn't really have to coach them beyond developmental/compulsory I think.

 

[Deleted member 14190]

I coached my daughter from preteam to College, but not without problems. But I can honestly say that it was the best thing for our relationship. She always called me dad on the floor and we shared some great times, (2 time regional AA champ) but the greatest moment was seeing her compete in college....

 

[JBS]

It's funny...I yell at my daughter's for something at the gym...

...then when I tuck them in at night...I tell them how proud of them I am for working so hard on the thing that they just couldn't figure out...

...guess I have a couple different personalities.

 

[Deleted member 14190]

I will say this, my daughter and I had a deal from day one, we absolutely 100 percent NEVER talked about gym at home. With the exception of when she won a meet or something and we were praising her as a family. Other than that, all gym issues stayed in the gym, this I think helped out a great deal. And i hope it will help anyone else. Warning! it super hard sometime to keep your mouth shut at home!