WAG Coahing your own child

[sce]

It is typical for parents to coach other sports or to lead other after school activities. Why not gym?

 

[vbdb]

My older kid would smother me with a pillow in my sleep if she thought I was going to be her coach...not that I'm remotely qualified but we had a terrible experience with piano lessons and don't work well together. My middle kid THINKS she would love to be coached in a sport by me but she's really sensitive and would be butthurt at any correction given to her.
I would think in most instances the intense training at those levels and constant corrections that happen in a gym would not be great for a parent child relationship. Because they spend so much time there I'd feel it was important that home is a safe place, gym free for the most part and being their coach too would mix up mom life and gym life.

 

[ayyyrial]

I had two coaches who had a kid in my group (at different times). The mom-coaches were much harsher on their child than the others in the group, more frustrated with their failures. Both kids were around age 9.

One of the kids was pretty talented and the mom-coach pushed her really hard to advance quickly through the levels - there were a lot of tears and fights in the gym which was upsetting to watch, and the rest of the team felt a little ignored even though most of the attention going to her child was negative.

The other kid was not as visibly talented and had more behavioral problems, but even though the mom was frustrated with her a lot she didn't seem to mind, though she didn't always really want to be in the gym. Eventually the mom stopped coaching as frequently, and the kid took a year or two off to try other things when she started high school, came back, and seems to be quite successful in competition now! I guess she's a late bloomer. This coach was also really good at giving attention to every single gymnast on her team, and I don't think anyone felt ignored.

 

[CanAmGymMum]

I coach my own child. She's 11 and will be level 8 next competitive season. I coached her on all 4 events as a preteam athlete and that had its challenges. Now, for team, I coach her on one event and that works a lot better. She excels on the event I coach, so, I'd say we make a good team. Sometimes, if she's really tired, she'll let her guard down, more than she would with another coach, and I won't be able to get as much out of her. But, on the flip side, I also know her better than anyone, and know when to push and when to back off. I'm coach at the gym and mom at home. Sometimes the lines get blurred a little, but not often. The arrangement has worked well for us. As a gymnastics coach, if you have a kid in the sport, there may not be another viable option other than to coach him/her. I know of at least a few parents in our area who coach their children and it seems to be working well for them. It's all in how you approach it, but, I do believe it helps that I've coached her almost since the beginning.

 

[SurpriseGymMom]

The closest I come to coaching my own kid is when I help their group with conditioning. Anything beyond that wouldn't work for us, and it is very hard to walk that fine line of not favoring/not being too hard on them. I tend to lean towards the "being more hard on them" side. It does help perhaps that my kid is not a fast tracking phenom, she has to put in her time and work hard for everything she's got.. Even just conditioning them, I will tell younthat my kid responds to me in ways she would certainly not respond to her regular coaches, and I do not mean that positively.

 

[Plank]

Hi... this is my first post so hallo everybody.

I have this situation that I coach my 9yo in several classes as it is the only childcare available. Sometimes she has had to sit at the side of the class or in the waiting area and she said "it is like being tortured, seeing other kids doing gym and not being allowed to join in". On that basis, we agreed she could join in if she calls me Mrs J and acts like a model pupil not a daughter.

What I do think, is that "being harder on your own child" can mean that in the long run, they will do better. If being harder means stricter about shape and conditioning and behaviour, then your child will be neater, stronger and more disciplined. Therefore it is favouring your own child. However, all the children are individuals and in truth, it is impossible to treat any two kids the same, whether your own or anyone else's.