WAG Coffee with a friend

[Pineapple_Lump]

^^^^^^I like the sound of your gym/attitude

Since my comment seemed to cause a bit of discussion will explain a little more. I do congratulate my gymnasts on good performances, and sometimes they don't get a medal, but I was still really happy with their effort/routines. They have absolutely no control over placements, so I don't focus on it. After awards there is usually a general well done/keep working hard message given to the group. I don't see the point in giving praise for something they cannot control, especially when Susie was just better that day.

I am certainly not going to praise my kid for her gold AA when she had a silly fall and was about to throw a tantrum before I intervened. This was followed by a lot of positive feedback on the next apparatus for pulling herself together and delivering an outstanding routine. The only time I have given individual attention for a child based on awards is when the child got nothing. This only happened if I felt that they needed a few works from the coach, but generally those kids just need some time and space to deal with their disappointment. Often our hardest working gymnasts are not the ones who win, I always make sure that the hard workers receive lots of praise rather than the kids who can get by on talent.

 

[profmom]

My kids' coaches on both sides seem to be more about doing routines that are the best routines the child can do at that given moment. So my DD has gotten a lot of positive reinforcement this season for doing her giant flyaway and doing passable fulls on floor. She has stuck her beam routine at every meet and medaled twice on that event, but hasn't gotten as much stroking because her beam coach really wants her to work on her connection and upgrade her acro. DS and his teammates are having a great year, but they underperformed on parallel bars at the last meet and their coach let them know it, even though the team took first place and he was thrilled with them. DS came in first in his age group on that event, but made mistakes that he usually doesn't, so both he and the coach were disappointed (about that event though certainly not overall!). However, the coach was very happy with one guy who didn't place but who did all the things he's been trying so hard to do in the gym.

However, any girl who stays on the beam and gets a 9 or better gets Mardi Gras beads. Even L10s in high school. And they love them!

 

[Learning Parent GB]

I don't think you need to focus on the medals - I think that is correctly on performance. But to not acknowledge it? Still rude in any book.

But then in our set up I can't imagine a coach not staying for the awards. And one of the things our coach sees for staying for the awards in the reaction of the gymnasts that didn't get a medal even if they scored higher but were just in a different age group. It helps her know how to handle them or give them a boost - or if they need to grow up and learn to deal with it.

I've sat there while DD had a higher score but didn't place, while her older, lower scoring team mate did. She knows to be pleased for her and to congratulate her and if she didn't I would consider her a bad sport. So I expect the same level of sportsmanship from a coach. Then next practice they are all back to working together.

 

[Learning Parent GB]

Just saw a few posts that were hidden before. Pineapple, I don't mean you should make a fuss of the medal winners at the group general well done keep working hard message. But surely you would say well done as you passed her on the way out to the carpark? Just as you would say well done to the girl who stayed on the beam for the whole routine - and yes, that would cause far more excitement here

 

[Pineapple_Lump]

I am either getting ready for the next session or it is late and everyone is in a rush home. I don't have time to make an individual fuss over 10 different girls 'on my way out to the car park' I have already given them feedback after each event and general feedback at the end. Our team is generally successful, none of our coaches have time to further stoke any of the winner's self esteem/ego. At the point I let them go, they want to see there parents and they get plenty more recognition and attention from that crowd. I guess if I had a kid who never won anything and they finally did, I might find time to say something, but this has not happened.

 

[gracyomalley]

DD coach has never (ok, maybe at state championships) stayed for awards...each gymnast gets a hug and individual feedback after each event, and a team talk before awards, during which she speaks about what went great and what needs work. Always positive, but with critique. She is quite aware of placements, and scores, but has always told the girls that part is not in their control - just doing their best and improving...

DD also has had coaches that were much less demonstrative - and she responded to their "good job" just as well....it depends upon the kid, I suppose. I know she loves being in a smallish, very close "gym family", but I don't think she "needs it".

More importantly, I don't NEED my DD to receive constant kudos....at this point she knows when she had a good meet, and when she didn't "hit" everything...what goes on at practice is so much more important to her general happiness and progression than how meets are handled. It would be hard for most kids to keep working hard and having a positive attitude if 20 hours a week they only heard negative input....but the meets are not "where its at" for that stuff...

If a parent felt their kid was not supported at practices, then I would further investigate, however, how a coach responds to meet performance is less important IMHO

 

[BlairBob]

I don't get how these coaches are not staying for awards. I can understand if it was a bad meet they bombed at or need to go because of some reason ( parent/child ).

I know in many WAG meets they do the prior sessions awards and next sessions warmups but...heck I'd love to sit in the hospitality but generally that's only before/after.

It's also generally considered rude to not stay for awards and make a lot of commotion by exiting the gym early. Depends if awards are held in the same floor or in a seperate area.

 

[Deleted member D3987]

i have never stayed for awards. i'm either in between sessions or leaving to go home or catch a plane after a 14 hour day. whatever might be said is said at the meet or Monday's post meet.

 

[CreateMagic]

I don't get how these coaches are not staying for awards. I can understand if it was a bad meet they bombed at or need to go because of some reason ( parent/child ).

.

I have been at a few meets where awards are in a different room at the same time the next session is warming up--can't be in two places at once, so I miss awards. That's the only reason I can see though, unless it's an emergency.

I don't necessarily comment on a child's awards. The award is enough, I don't need to pile it on. I do mention a skill done well, a clean performance, etc., and I always ask if they had fun and felt they did their best. I also tell them all the time that I don't care what their scores were. If they mention scores, I ask about a specific part of their routine instead and direct the question away (I got a 9! "Oh, nice. Did you hit vertical in your handstand today? Awesome!), focusing instead on something I know they've been working on. The meet is just a show. The kids shod be recognized for the work they put in daily and how it pays off!

 

[kandkfunk]

Our coaches are often not there for awards - they are getting ready for another session or eating if they haven't eaten in 4-5 hours. I don't have an issue with that. I think I used to be a little put off when my daughter first started competing, but that was before I truly understood how meets work and what the coach's responsibility is.

We just had a big meet this weekend. It's probably the biggest and hardest meets in our state and our teams did pretty darn good. At the beginning of yesterday's practice, our coaches sat with the girls for a few minutes to discuss the meet and all of the girl's accomplishments. They gave praise and each girl received acknowledgement for something they did at the meet. It was a great ending to the weekend and a good way to set new goals for the next couple of weeks. I like this sort of approach because it brings the entire team together, let's them be acknowledged by their peers and coaches and keeps them motivated.

 

[emilykatherine]

Coaches don't need to congratulate kids for the medals they have earned, the medal is a reward in itself (unless everyone got one).

My coaches always congratulate me no matter how many medals I get or what place, they will even stay and watch awards unless they have to go coach the session after. If my coaches were to one day stop that I would be sad just because I like to know there proud with how I did because I am there "product" there putting out there for everyone to see

 

[Moxiegrl83]

Our coaches daughter competes and I think she only made it to one of her awards last season. There was always a session following, and like dunno said, after 12 hr days she's ready to get out of there.

 

[Natasha]

At most big meets around here the awards are taking place during warm-ups for the next session, so the coaches are often not in awards. At my dd's old gym, the gym owner/PT optional coach did not attend many of their meets. When the girls got back to the gym, when he asked how they did, he had them trained to answer without giving him placement or score info- it was always a goal oriented report "I stuck my series, I completed my pirouette in handstand, etc." I have never considered it rude to not congratulate them for a placement. I do expect my dd to congratulate her teammates on a good routine, goals met, etc... but that is done on the floor after they finish. She also does clap and cheer for her teammates during the awards ceremony as do the parents and the coaches if they are in the awards, but I don't see it as rude to not acknowledge medals after awards. Usually we are all way to busy trying to figure out what restaurant the team is going to eat at, who is going to call ahead to get seats, and who is riding with who...

 

[raenndrops]

Honestly, all of this seems to me to be a very good reason TO attend the conference with the coach. It seems to me that your friend has a lot to say to the coaching staff that needs to be said. Good luck to her.

I would say the parent should attend... but w/o her DD since she is worried about how it would affect her to hear the coach speak of her.

 

[txgymfan]

It sound like the issue is much much more than not complementing her gymnast after a meet. Clearly she feels that her DD is not given the respect and or attention that the other athletes are receiving. That is the issue that should be discussed. Actual comments about this or that meet is a symptom of a much bigger problem and I agree hold the meeting without her DD.